Cogs

I don't even know where to begin. So much happened in such a short time I'm not sure I can tell you everything and have you not think I'm a psycho or something. I am not a psycho. Nor am I making this stuff up. I just can't keep everything bottled up inside any longer.
It started with the dead girl in my backyard.
I can't tear my eyes away. Hers are open and I swear she's seeing me. I know there is no way she's alive, I checked, but kneeling in front of her with my fingers still to her neck it's like she knows I'm there. I close her still brown eyes and find my finger wrapping a curl around it. This is nuts! Why am I not screaming like a fucking maniac right now? There is a fucking dead girl just laying in my backyard. But there is something about her that makes me calm. It's as if I can feel her rubbing my shoulder and assuring me it's not that bad. My tenses. I actually can feel someone rubbing my shoulder. There's no way. No one is here. It isn't any of the neighbors. Could it be the police? Shit! I should have called them. I turn and find myself looking into the brown eyes that I just shut. She is looking through me until it dawns on her that I actually see her. She smiles and I swear her face just because the most extravagant thing I've seen. She has an indent running through her left eyebrow that seems to separate her one eyebrow into two little ones. Her eyes are small, but so bright, I want to look away, but I don't dare. Her mouth is small, but fits her small features perfectly. On her cheek is a cut that I run my thumb over. She gasps as my hand connects to her cheek and she just looks at me as I look at her. I don't move my hand from her cheek and she doesn't make me. This is probably illegal. This is a little girl I'm fucking stroking. That snaps me out of it and I'm up and backing away from the girl and her body. Oh God her body! A fucking body still in my fucking backyard. I have to call the police. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and a hand lands on my arm. She just looks at me, but I know she's scared. She doesn't want me to call, but I have to. It'll be very bad if I don't. I tell the operator about the body and soon after hanging up, the sirens are blaring. I don't want her to go, but I don't know if she should stay. Her hand is still on my arm and I move it until our fingers are interlocked. This is a scared little girl who just lost her life. I'm just comforting her. Nothing pedophilic about that. No.
"Sir, step away from the body and put your hands above your head where I can see them!" I turn and see two cops standing right inside the yard. I didn't even hear them open the fence. I take a step away from the girl and let go of her hand as I put mine in the air.
"This is my house. I am the one who called you here. She was just here when I got home." One of the cops, the one who didn't have his gun on me, comes closer to me and searches my body quickly for a weapon. He is just about my height and has a quiet, but authoritative demeanor about him. His eyes are a gray white color that I've never seen on anyone who isn't blind. His pale skin becomes rosy as traces his hand down and back up on my body. His uniform says his name is Jenkins and I want to laugh, but I don't dare. When Jenkins is done and satisfied I am carry or a danger, he gently nudges my arms down back at my sides and motions for his partner to lower his weapon. His partner keeps his gun and I am not at all surprised. Jenkins looks at his partner with a stern look.
"Frank put your gun down." Frank doesn't seem to hear him as his blue eyes stay locked on my body. He has short cropped blond hair and is a little on the thick side. I could take him easily and he know it too. His upper hand is that gun, but he doesn't know that I'm not the violent type. Jenkins takes a step toward his partner extending his arm out as if it could stop the bullet that could escape the chamber. A hand rests on my shoulder and it takes everything in me to take my arm and put her protectively behind me. She's a ghost or something. She's past my protection. Frank jerks his eyes to his partner as Jenkins moves closer to him.
"Frank come on, man. We have to go to the body and see if this girl can be saved. I can't do that until you holster your gun."
"Oh come on, Keith. Don't be an idiot. That girl is dead and he killed her. A little girl." The hand on my shoulder digs in deeper and I'm not sure what part has her upset. Paramedics appear in the fence and they stop when they see the scene before them. The woman steps up beside Frank and walks around so that his gun is looking into her eyes. His hands shake slightly as he sees her and puts her hand on him just above his wrist. The other paramedic comes around us all and kneels down next to the body. The girl next to me shifts to watch what he's doing, but doesn't take her hand from my shoulder. That's fine. The way she's standing now puts her behind me. The female paramedic is saying something to Frank I can't hear and Jenkins stay where he is between me and his partner. Frank shakes and the woman takes his gun from his hand and holds it out behind her. Jenkins takes the gun, puts the safety on and tucks it in the band of his belt.
"Hey I have a pulse over her. It's faint, but she's still fighting." Everyone turns to the paramedic kneeling by the body and he looks to the officers with his hand gently on her shoulder. The female paramedic grabs her back and produces a camera and gives it to Frank. Frank looks at the woman for an extra breath before snapping a few pictures of where the body lay. The paramedic pushes her shoulder gently and while she is on her back he puts a mask onto her and face and I hear Jenkins talking over his radio. The two paramedics get the body onto the stretcher and are wheeling her out of my backyard when more officers and some suits step through the fence.