Alabaster diary

January 12 2015

It this day I strive to record my life. This is my 18th birthday and I feel lost. My parents never really did a dam thing for my but bring me into this world I hate and wish to leave. The home iam living in basicly said get the fuck out. Sure they helped me get a apartment. But growing up in a group home your not allowed to do much learn much and their no one their to help pay for school. Fuckers got me a shit Job at Drunken Donuts and wished me luck in my life. If it wasn't for Crystal I don't think I could make it though the days. Fuck this I got other shit to do,

January 29 , 2015
Got Fired. Fucking assholes how the fuck am I going to pay my fucking rent. I hate my fucking life. I sucked a guy off the other day for a tenth. I hate my self.

February 7, 2015

I got work. Dancing for faggots. You think this kind of club would attached chicks but no just homos that cant get fucking laid. But fuck it the money fucking good. Shouldn't my life of been better then this shit. This shit sucks. Ill need to find a better hook up. Why do I keep writing in this fucking book. Fuck my life.

March 5, 2015
Still working in this hell hole but some these assholes buy you shit. It not like I treat them very well but I guess some of them get off on that shit. I tell them I am not a Faggot then I land up sucking them off after we smoked the shit they bought. But I never let them take my ass never. Fuck these people I think I am gonna end it tonight.

March 29, 2015
Yea iam a Pussy. Still fucking here I tried held the gun in my mouth for like 2 hours a night. Then I just get fucking High and go to sleep. Fuck it


April 9, 2015
Stopped working at that meat shop. Wast of fucking time really. No job again but not a big deal, Been Mugging people it feels good to beat someone why their laying on the ground begging for their life. I have the power now bitch. Fucking Chicago I hate this fucking place. I hate my self almost as much. But hey I got cash for Blow tonight. Don't need this fucking apartment any way.

April 22, 2015
Evicted but fuck them I got my shit I care about in my pack and this stupid fucking book. Someone should know though. Fuck this system they take you from your home and leave you to sink when you turn 18. On the street now. Maybe ill get out this fuck town.

May 13, 2015
Denny's I love this fucking place. Sampler hot dam. The waitress keep looking at me though fuck that bitch. Maybe I will. God I love this shit. More onion rings yes I need more rings and sticks. I need a fucking 8 ball.

May 29, 2015
In the back of this van meet a dude named James him and his bitch jenny. They got a friend Kate. She been sucking my dick couple times a day since I meet her and all I got to do is share my shit. The other 2 watch. No fucking clue were we are going.

June 5, 2015
It Fucking hot here good dam it but it's fucking Vegas. They ditched me here as soon as my shit ran out but it Fucking Vegas maybe they did me a favor. That bitch Kate still with me though she sucking some dude off so we have a place to stay tonight. I already been though his place why she was doing it. got a sweat fucking x box one. Should be able to get some shit with it.

June 30, 2015
I love this bitch but I don't fucking respected her. She a fucking whore but aren't we all were staying in a motel 6 extended stay. We got a sweat thing going on she been getting johns and texting me were they are and I been going in to rob their asses. Rich guys. Fuck them we desiver the money.

July, 4, 2015
Kate got fucking busted and iam in Reno right now first time I had a chance to stop running. What kind of fucking town doesn't have a god dam Denny's or it it dose I cant fucking find it. Been hitching I need a fucking car.

July 15, 2015
Just ditched this car I took, iam in Texas now, been a week since I scored some shit I fucking itch like hell. Fucking scabs but I like it when I bleed at lest I know iam alive.

August 21, 2015
Fuck Texas. Stole a car and resting in a rest stop but almost out of gas. I think iam in Louisiana this place is seriously fucked up. Got some shit from a Voodoo bitch I fucked the shit out of. I took some money from her though and stole a car so here I am.

September 11 2015
Why do people get all weepy eyed over losing people. Big fucking deal a couple towers in New York got knocked over boo fucking who. I need to get out this fucking hell hole new orlains is a piece of shit town.

November 27, 2015
I don't get fucking turkey. Some asshole took my away from my family and I don't even know were they are. Still in this fucking hell hole living in a building they aint been rebuilt after Katrina. I am fucking King here though I got 6 bitches and they are out working for me now they bring me their money and I make sure they are protected. I stole a fucking desert eagle it fun to fucking shoot.

December 5, 2015
Popped my cherry but I got to get out this place fast. I shot that fucker in the face and then I shot the bitch in the chest blood exploited out her back covering everything. On T.V their a nice little hole but that not how this shit work's, Think I am gonna go jack that truck and get the fuck out of here I need clean cloths first these are covered in blood.

(( blood is dripped all over the pages))

December 24, 2015
Almost got busted. The FBI are fucking looking for me good luck finding me Bitches I am in Mexico. Passed a butch of beaners going over the border in new Mexico I told them the place was a shit hole and they should just turn the fuck around. Learning Spanish but I dot fucking get it. Shit easier to find here though. Got a 8 ball and man money goes a long way here I scored 5 grand before I left the Hates and I got a shit ton of it left. I don't even know the name of this shit hole.

January 12, 2016
I am 19 bitches. I meet this chick she been helping me and she fucks like a banshee. Her family throwing me a fucking party. Her dad don't like me though but that fine I am not trying to fuck him. She says I need to get clean though and that she Loves me and thinks I can be better. I want to be better for her.

February 26, 2016
I fucking hurt been puking and shaking for a long ass time but I am coming though it I am clean. She loves me and I love her. Her father coming around. I read what I had written here in this book and man I did some fucked up shit. I killed people she gives me the strength to live with it I will be better we go to church, I am fucking bored the whole dam time though

March 7, 2016
I am gonna be a Dad. I cant believe it. My Spanish is coming along and I can kinda talk to her Dad now he takes me out working with him finding scrap and building shit. Feel good to work. Her dad fucking cool. We smoke weed why were out and man that fucker can drink.

March 28, 2016
Life is good I just needed to write that.

April 12, 2016
We got married and the baby still growing he kicks me some time why were sleeping it's OK I poke him in the head a lot. I cant wait to he is born

May 21, 2016
Fucking bounty hunters. They came looking for me I had to shoot my way out Maria told me I brought evil to her home and to never come back. I killed one them bounty hunting fucks serves them right. They were supposed to be their in the first fucking place. Fuck it I got some crystal time to numb my shit out I don't want to remember this shit.