Crystal Memories

Looking at my marred reflection in the crystal-embedded walls, I see only the scar. My sister, Ava, would've said she saw wide, piercing, emerald eyes and unruly, electric blond hair. I see the small, freckle-splattered ears and nose, the long eyelashes coated in mist, the incredibly lost expression in my eyes. I see the scar most of all. I feel the talon's razor-points striking my skin, slashing through my upper lip, just barely missing my right eye. The memories greet me in flashes, snapshots that create physical pain. Every time I close my eyes, my scar throbs, my eyes burn with unshed tears.The creature, with eyes the color of crimson, and claws the size of daggers. Ava, running, screaming a scream that will forever haunt me. The cliff, the fog, hanging heavily, clawing at my body, pushing and pulling in a effort to drag me off the ragged edge. Ava, wailing and wailing, my name falling into a monstrous silence as the fog takes her, cradles her, then drops her so fast her heart stops before she hits whatever lies in wait below. The shadows dance and leap, whispering and drifting around my body in an eerie wind that doesn't quite brush against me. Ever since the attack, the floods that spit acid, the sky that suffocated, this cave has been my safe place. Ava has always been there, encouraging me, soothing me. I would wake with a start, my hair matted around my face, my lips cracked, but Ava would run her fingers down my arm until I fell back asleep and forgot about the horrors that can kill just by being a reality in your mind. I watch the light sift through the entrance of the cave, tenderly rubbing the walls that shimmer with long-forgotten crystal memories. My pack sits beside my feet, filled to the brim with the necessities.I force myself to see this cave as the place Dad urged us to go. I force myself to see the candles in the alcoves, the wafting smell of vanilla and soaked rock. I look around and remember, remember the memories with so much force my stomach does a little flip-flop. Then I open my eyes fully, and see this cave for what is now the entire planet. Death. Grief. The not-quite dried blood deeper inside, as dark as charcoal in the intimate spaces the sunlight can't reach. The smell of despair, the cries still echoing, forever fading. It's not safe anymore. One monster. One dead heart. One dagger. One enormous planet, and a whole species of beasts continuing to grow. This cave is no longer home. This cave will soon be embraced by the flames I can just quite scent in the distance. The candles will shatter and melt, the long-forgotten crystal memories will burn to ashes. The blood will boil and evaporate, mixing with the amber-tinged clouds squeezing life's lungs just by dragging down the sky. This place will fill with nature's toxic revenge. I drape my pack across my shoulders, slip the filter over my mouth and nose, stick the "eye-wear" snuggly around my eyes. I glance at the scar, healing much faster now that I've slipped in some rest, yet still burning, red as the blood I rubbed out from under my fingernails. I close my eyes for half a second and try, with all my heart, to smell the vanilla and refreshingly musty scent of wet rocks. I think about Ava, her golden curls down to her lower back, always held up in a messy bun. Her welcoming smile, small and timid. Her long fingernails, curved and dull. Her familiar raspy voice, soft and muffled when she doesn't want to admit something. I open my eyes, blink away the tears, blink away the memories. I turn around and step out onto the crumbling ledge my sister was shoved off of just weeks before, shoved by the fog, shoved by reality. I climb down, to the steadier trail, leading around the mountain and down into the lethal walls of civilization. I keep walking, not once looking back. I keep walking, and bury the memories deep inside my core, into a corner so shifty and dark that I may not be able to reach it again. I bury Ava's face with the monster's eyes, I bury the cave with the smells I associated for so long as "safe". I bury everything until I have to take a few trembling breaths, until I stop feeling this clawing sensation of dread that I'm not burying Ava and the cave and the monster, I am only burying myself and they are floating too high for me to reach them. I am the one in the unreachable spaces, shadowy and translucent. I am the one that's lost. These realizations are just more things I lock away as I walk the countless steps closer to the uncertain future. My uncertain future. I need to stop thinking of the future as something open to all. I am one of the only ones left, and if I don't hurry, I'll be the last person alive.