'The Happy Girl'

I'm 'The Happy Girl' that tries to always make sense of every situation, everything someone does, every word that a person may have spoken. Everything. I'm the girl that tries to lighten the mood in some sense. The girl that over thinks. Rather dramatic. Always there for everyone, but never have anyone to lean on myself! SOUND FAMILIAR?? I know everyone can relate..
Being 'The Happy Girl' that lives the perfect life, naive! Hasn't experienced pain! Hasn't gone through a traumatic time! Hasn't lived! Has no "Social Skills" because I can't relate to peoples pain or problems!
I feel like everyone thinks I'm so small. I feel like I'm falling, when I'm actually floating. Floating closer to the sun, so close I can feel it beginning to burn my wings! In the grasp of death itself, where it is no longer my choice whether it continues to pull me out of this world, or reject me like everything else has and throw me back in it.
Just because I'm 'The Happy Girl' and tries so hard to see the bright side, Doesn't mean that I don't know or understand the dark side! Believe me I know the dark side I've been all around that area! Which is why I try to lift the spirits. That's what makes this girl, 'The Happy Girl'. Hiding the crippling pain with a simple smile is easier than explaining the feelings that YOU wouldn't understand. Explaining these feelings that grip you without realisation.
No one understands, that memories and words that bind you to your friends and family, are the same vines that create the rope wrapped around my neck. Tugging. Demanding. It's the lease that holds me captive with my lies, that I keep telling myself which make them true. The sweet nectar, is from the same flower that has made living bitter.
If I happened to end my life. People would say. "She was 'The Happy Girl', She shouldn't have needed to kill herself." And things like "If only I told someone!" I'm 'The Happy Girl', If I told someone, no one would believe me. They'd just say "She's just looking for attention". "You wouldn't really...". "Your life is too great!". And "You're too 'Happy' to do that." That right there, is the reason why I hide my feelings I feel like I can't control anything in this world. But the one thing that 'The Happy Girl' can control. Is a smile.