The metal is cold in my hand despite the warmth of the day, and
the slight clicking of the keys draws my ear. Brushing the calluses
on my nimble fingers, the open tone-holes of the flute resonate with
bright sound as the air cascades through the chambers, and my eyes
close to listen.
My most recent project, a light jig based on a northern folktale,
is most definitely a work-in-progress; I have not even initiated the
second half. At the moment, I am working on the countermelody in the
flute line underneath the lyrics. It has to be perfect, or else the
entire piece would be boring, to say the least. Luckily, flute is my
absolute specialty.
I halt my playing, dragging the instrument from my lips
reluctantly, and add the necessary notation on the parchment in front
of me. I have to be careful, else the other sheets around me tumble
to the floor from their precarious perch upon the table. The last
thing I wish to do with the rest of my afternoon is tidy up; the
condition of my home certainly reflects that sentiment.
After another half hour of experimentation, I finally have a rough
outline of the countermelody, enough to work off. I glance at the
clock and nod to myself.
"I've still got plenty of time," I utter, even though I am
completely alone. I offer a quick laugh to myself; of course I have
time. Time is one thing I have plenty of.
I transition to my lyre, the final component of this relatively
simple composition. After adding a few chords to the mix, I find that
I am not in the mood for that particular instrument. I instead decide
to practice the shawm, neglected for too long because of a shortage
of reeds. The next hour passes in a much similar fashion; my life is
not exactly the most varied.
This time, instead of picking a different instrument, I organize
the papers on the desk briefly, enough to prevent an avalanche in the
near future, and grab my hat and list. I step outside into the light
of the late afternoon sun, my eyes instinctively squinting against
the glare. Skirting the edge of the garden, I set off into the woods
at a brisk pace. My steps are sure; I have nothing to fear here.
These woods are renowned to contain wolves, which prowl through
the woods at night, and rumors speculate that creatures far more
dangerous than any mortal beast wander these woods, creatures that
can suck the soul from your very body, that can carve you up for a
trophy, that can control your will like a showy puppet-master. They
are right, of course. I live here, after all.
I made this forest my home for well over forty years, my isolation
self-imposed. My tolerance for fools has only declined over the
years, and the world is chock-full of them. I would like to think of
myself as a patient woman, but that would be an obvious lie. Patience
is relative, and I would rather not spend an eternity waiting.
I make good time, and soon the trees thin and grow into shrubbery
and grasses. Amongst the hilly, bare terrain, one structure stands
alone against the windy landscape. It is cylindrical at the bottom,
made of red brick, with a wooden scaffold-like structure placed on
top. Attached to the roof is a rope that continues all the way down
into the depths in the center of it all.
The well has been here as long as I have, and it has been almost
like a companion to me all these years. The brick is cracked and
weathered, the hard edges beaten down by the harsh plains wind. The
subtle howling is present even now, the eerie musicality appealing to
me.
Upon reaching the well, I haul up the bucket from its long-dry
bed, surprised at the lightness. Usually the action is more of a
struggle, but this time I hardly expend any effort. When the bucket
finally reaches surface-level, I understand why.
"What in the hell..." I trail off. The bucket is completely
empty. Empty, vacant, hollow. Bewilderment flashes through me.
Not once have they forgotten me. Not once in forty years have they
failed to deliver. My hand clenches around the handle, the knuckles
flashing white.
"How dare they?" I swear, whipping around to head into the
direction of the village. For half a second I contemplate how I
should deal with them as the ungrateful children they are, but then
my steps falter a short distance from the well and I slow to a stop.
I take a single inhalation to calm myself and to think
rationally. There must have been some sort of issue, for them to fail
me after this long. I have plenty of supplies left for another few
days, and I can fend for myself in the meantime. There is no reason
to ruin a beneficial deal after a single mistake.
Reticently, I head back home, wrinkles deep in my brow. The
village has some credit with me and they have not gone back on their
word, so I shall give them two more days. After that point, I cannot
say where we will stand.
Every week, the town west of my cottage sends the supplies I
cannot gather on my own into the well, to prevent scavenging, and I
collect it that afternoon, replacing it with a list for the next
week. There is no face-to-face interaction, no conflict, just a
purely business transaction. Supplies in exchange for my leniency.
Occasionally I will also send copies of my more mediocre works for
them to do with as they will. Indeed, I had not spoken with a human
being in years and that fact still comforts me.
The two days pass in a much similar manner as those before it. I
have added another hand's breadth to my crochet project, but I soon
run out of the light blue wool. I approach completion on my
composition, now in the refining process, but the act feels hollow,
somehow. Insignificant. Music has served as a litmus test for me in
the past, expressing what emotions do not make it past to the
surface. I am distracted, and I am very well aware of that fact.
My feet itch to make the journey to the town and appease the
curiosity burning inside of me. In many ways, I feel more alive than
I have felt in years, but also more alarmed.
Out in the garden, dirt coats my hands and knees as I pluck the
tiny shoots that poke their way through the earth. The leafy greens
are almost ready to harvest, but the fact brings me little joy. The
same thing happens every year at the same time, like a formulaic
pattern. With the proper conditions, these plants will always grow
and mature and die, regardless if I am here or not.
With a little huff, I rise and brush myself off. I use more force
than necessary to drive away such thoughts, the solid smack like a
douse of water to the face. Of course I am necessary; the world would
not dare to continue without me.
"Ridiculous," I grumble to myself, but I am not sure which
notion my wayward mind is criticizing.
As I enter the house, my eyes immediately dart towards the clock
hanging on the wall. Like so many of my household wares, I did not
actually procure it. I sent a list and the village delivered. My
yarn, crochet hooks, paper, ink, pots and pans, dishes, tools, and
even most of my instruments were sent down that decrepit well on the
gusty plains. It is difficult to believe that before I arrived, this
was a simple hunting lodge, only fit to serve as a temporary shelter
for a few nights.
I bathe in the stream behind my home, grateful that there is still
some warmth left in the season. I sit on a rock to dry off before
heading back inside. I dress quickly and practically, knowing that
the walk to the village is much longer than the trip to the well.
Even as I step out the door, some instinct coerces me to spin and
pick out my flute from among the others. It is still in its case, its
light presence soothing my mind and bringing a smile to my face
despite myself.
There is no lock on the door, no way for me to make sure that my
home remains safe. A thought comes to mind just then, and I clear my
throat. Testing my voice a bit, I launch into the familiar feeling of
song.
"Come to me, come to me wary creatures from afar
Your beaks yellow as gold, your feathers black as tar
Fly to my aid once more
Fly as fast as you can soar"
My voice is clear in the still air, and for a second I think that
my trick did not work. Then a movement above alerts me to their
presence. I crane my neck upwards and my gaze tracks the path of a
black dot as it grows into a large raven, more joining it. Birds are
always an excellent choice; they have a large communication network
to hear from and attuned senses.
The first crow perches on the bit of overhang above the door, and
soon an entire murder arrives. I hum a tune to them, giving them
instructions in my absence. Words mean nothing to them, and besides,
the music is the real power to begin with. The words merely allow me
to focus in on a particular subject to address. They are to guard
this residence at all times, but they may roam over my territory and
do as they like, as long as they do not disturb anything inside or
immediately outdoors.
With a caw, most of the birds fly off to continue the hunt, with
a few remaining on guard by the entrance. Satisfied, I continue on my
way into the trees.
The well is empty.
Alarm bells are ringing in my head as I stare down the shoot,
hands braced on the frail wall. The dirt bottom smirks up at me in
condescension.
"Damnit all!" I swear, kicking the side a few times in
frustration until red dust coats my hem. I knew deep down two days
ago that I would have to leave, but I had hoped that I would not have
to spend a night in town. It is too long of a trip to make twice of
in one day.
When I arrive, something will either be horribly wrong or swiftly
become horribly wrong. I pick up the case, discarded from my little
tirade, and head further east. The hills, while a beautiful
landscape, do not lend themselves to easy travel, and the years of
leisure spent in my cottage have not exactly made me athletic. I
cannot afford a leisurely pace, since I only have about five or six
hours of light left. There are no fireflies around to light my path
for me, as I have done a few times before.
I hum a tune as I walk, careful not to direct it at any
particular organism. My music is perfectly benign without a target,
and I would prefer not to have an audience of birds and rodents for
an audience now. A snort escapes me as I envision a little parade of
mice and earthworms. Such a thing would not be without precedent.
I push black tendrils of hair back from my face only to have the
wind blow them back into my eyes and mouth. Sputtering, I slap my
hair into place, braiding it into submission. By the time I tie off
with a ribbon, the length of it swings low, the jagged ends trailing
into the small of my back. There is not much occasion to see a proper
barber, so I have had to improvise.
When I crest a hill sometime later, I spot tiny dwellings on the
adjacent rise. It is still another half a mile away, so I can only
make out a rough outline in the dwindling daylight. The thought of a
hot meal and soft bed rouses my tired feet and I pick up my pace
slightly.
As I approach, however, the acrid tang of smoke fills my
nostrils, carried downwind on the current. Too much to be a
controlled fire, my blood runs cold and dread now permeates my body.
Even before I lay eyes on the town, I know what I will find.
Nothing but ash remains, the skeletons of buildings and humans
alike blackened beyond recognition. I only see a few bodies, so it
looks as though the majority of them managed to escape, leaving
behind the stragglers to be torched. So much for human solidarity.
I stride into what used to be the village square, my footsteps
muted on the soft earth. The hair on my neck rises and I rub my arms
up and down to subdue my goosebumps. Everything is still, holding a
collective breath, and the dull mute of the environment seeps into
the soles of my feet, up into my thighs, and drains right into my
heart. It has been a long time since I have seen such wanton
destruction and I call tell at once that the fire was not of natural
cause. With a natural fire, people would have escaped or would have
died in their homes not out in the open.
Someone set it.
Someone who meant to kill and had likely killed before. Likely a
group. Likely young men. Likely living outside of the law.
I do not know who murdered these people, but I know the type and I
know how to find them. Such a task would be easy, and my heart leaps
at the opportunity. They have taken away my source of comfort, and
for that they must pay. Dearly.
Two bodies, their charred skulls grinning, entwine together, one
much smaller than the other. A mother or father with their
unfortunate child. Unfamiliar feelings course through me at the sight
as I stare down at their forms, but I brush them off. I did not know
them, so there is no reason for me to feel sorry.
I had planned to sleep here for the night, but now I would rather
sleep in my own grave than in this burnt out shell. If I return home,
the same supply issue will greet me as soon as I walk in the door. A
smile comes to my face, a wicked little grin that shows teeth.
"Oh, this will be fun, won't it?" I ask no one, my soft
voice like a clap of thunder in a cloudless sky. I wince slightly,
the confusing acoustics all at once silent and deafening.
Even as I leave this wretched town, even as I head on a path to
blood, with nothing but a flute in my possession, I cannot help but
glance back at those two poor clumps, cuddling until their bodies
fade away into dust. In another life, one of them could have easily
been me.
With that morbid statement, I set off to track the perpetrators. I
could look for footprints and follow those, but to eliminate the
possibility of time wasting, I decide to use other more direct
methods. Setting my audience below my feet and into the rodent
tunnels filled with scurrying creatures readying their hollows for
dinner, I sing in an urgent crescendo:
Follow the crime, follow the crime,
Lead me so I may snatch their time.
Use the scent of blood to track the deed;
Of you, I have no greater need.
The lyrics flow from deep inside of my consciousness, more of an
instinct rather than any particular fondness for rhyme. Acting as
guiding framework, my tune summons my audience, a pack of tiny field
mice, who swarm my feet, their soft noses pinned to the ground and
sniffing. The group shifts with a squeak of discovery and heads off
at a run northeast, with me close behind. Despite their miniature
size, they set quite a pace, and I occasionally have to jog to stay
with them.
Scarlet streaks line the sky in dusky swaths, and the air seems to
drop in temperature. Soon my breath puffs out in little clouds from
my lips. After about an hour, a ripple passes through the nest of
mice, an acknowledgement addressed at me. Their pace slows and I spot
a light on the next hill over.
A campfire has been lit, no doubt to keep out the brisk chill now
working its way into my bones, and I can see the outlines of possibly
a couple dozen men silhouetted starkly against the darkening sky.
They have made their tents on the banks of a major river, probably
the Riuka, if my sense of direction is not completely mistaken.
I can feel the vibrations of their voices against the sensitive
skin of my face, almost like a caress of recognition. Recoiling, I
send the mice away with a low whistle. Disgust curls in my gut.
I kneel, plopping the case gently on the grass in front of me. I
can barely see anything in the fading light, so I put together the
three pieces of my flute by memory rather than sight. I clamp down on
the notes that would finish them here and now; I want this to be a
special occasion. The cold weather is an issue, but a bit of poor
intonation would not be unforgivable.
Fastening the case to my shoulder, I head towards the light of the
campfires. I do not hesitate to enter the small cluster of tents.
They have clearly not set watch yet, hoping to finish off their
rations before getting some sleep.
"Hello!"
Head snap around, conversations hush, as my shouted greeting
filters across the clearing. Hands instantly grasp for weapons, and I
cannot help but smile. I hold my hands up placating, a symbol of
surrender.
"Whoa, there!" I exclaim good-naturedly.
"Who are you? Identify yourself!" One of the men demands.
"No one important. Say, would you like to hear a song? I wrote
it myself." I say, exuberance radiating from every pore. This is
going better than I thought.
Murmurs move through the crowd as muscles relax and they realize
that I am just another woman to take advantage of and no, my flute is
not a weapon of war. Yet.
"You'd best move on. Go home," the apparent leader, or at
least the most vocal, states.
"Come on, I know you'd like it." I reply suggestively,
placing my hand on a generous hip to extenuate this fact. A couple of
catcalls sound and I can see the leader's shoulders droop a bit in
defeat.
"Very well, play your song."
Moving to the center of the ring, I play a few warmup notes.
Letting out a single b-flat, I use the vibrations to soothe their
minds and concerns, relaxing them into a state of complete
mindlessness. I wrap their collective conscious into a single,
malleable form I can mold and shape.
Like a puppeteer, I pull their strings up tightly and they jostle
to their feet, warm and content smiles on their face. Initiating and
cheerful, bouncy piece, I call them to attention and bid them march,
march along in lines two-by-two, up to the bank of the river.
A laugh of pure joy escapes me; it has been too long since I have
done this, using my art to my advantage. Tingles run along my spine
at each wave of sound, each pulse of power that radiates from my
fingertips.
I pop the fog clouding their awareness, but retain control of
their limbs. I want them to be awake for this.
Line by line, I send them to their deaths, drowning them in the
river like the drowned rats they are. Death by suffocation, while
painful, is much less so than death by burning. I would know; I have
suffered each before.
I leave the leader for last. He was the more intelligent one, and
I am curious to know if tales of me still circulate. Before forming
my deal with the town, I was on the run and I would like to remain
hidden. I am in no rush to have my tongue cut out.
I loosen my hold on his mouth, "Tell me, do you know who I am?"
He squints up at me, but I know that the fire illuminates my face
just fine. Terror and confusion are the only things clouding his
vision.
"No," He speaks softly.
I toss my hair back in annoyance. Of course he would not recognize
me, it has been forty years.
"Correction. Do you know what I am?" I command, my
voice clear and deep in the night.
"You're the sound elemental?" He asks hesitantly, eyes
darting from side to side in an obvious attempt to search for an
escape.
"Yes, I am. And do you know why I am here?" I say, more softly
this time.
He swallows a lump in his throat, "I don't know." The lie is
a sad excuse for a deception.
"Really? A town a little south and west of here, near the
forest, was recently burned down, several of the people scorched. You
wouldn't have had anything to do with this, right?" I chirp.
He tries to shake his head, but only succeeds creating a silence
while he discovers that it is futile. "No, I don't know anything
about that." The pumps of his heart pick up rapidly, forcing the
air around it into motion and to my ears. My lips curve into a grin.
"That's too bad. It means I've killed these men for
nothing." I kneel down to him so that we are practically
nose-to-nose. "What do you know of Mara Ellias?"
A gasp escapes him, "Ellias? Isn't she dead?" He asks, shock
temporarily erasing his fear.
My grin slowly fades, despite the comfort the statement brings me.
"No, she isn't. But you will be." I stand, turning my back on
him. "For your cooperation, I'll make it painless."
"No, no pl-" he cuts off as I play a single c-sharp against
the tone hole, stilling his heart before he finishes. I bring the
flute down from my face, the exhilaration draining from my body as
quickly as it came. Weariness drags on my limbs and for once in my
long life, I feel old. I can almost touch the wrinkled skin dragging
off my cheekbones, my eyes sunken into my eye sockets and my grizzled
hair bleached white. Tracing a finger along my skin, I feel nothing
but the taut surface of a youthful beauty.
Shoulders slumped, I head back into their camp and confiscate one
of the bowls of soup left behind. It is still warm and surprisingly
tasty, but I consume little. Curling beside the fire, I drift into a
dose, the carried away on the current of my memories.
My fingernails are dirty. My feet, too. Mama is going to be mad
because I just got out of the bath, but I wanted to work outside
again. The sun hasn't even set, so I don't know why she pulled me
inside so early. She's been doing that more and more lately, ever
since I turned five. Apparently someone is coming over later, but I
don't remember who.
My bottom lip sticks out as I think about the problem, hands on
my hips. The flower is wilting and I can't figure out why. I've
watered it and checked for bugs, but it still looks sick. It's my
favorite since it's right by my window, so I really want it to
live. I don't understand.
Maybe the soil is bad. If I move it, it might get better.
Grabbing a trowel, I return and start digging. The sunflower is
pretty tall, even though it is young, so I have to be very careful
not to hurt the roots. If I do that, the plants will die.
"Laaa, lala dala to tumdumdum laaaa..." I intone as I work,
helping me focus. Mama always tells me to be careful, to stop
singing, but I like singing. Plus, she isn't here to catch me.
Thick squiggles pop out of the ground and I squeak in alarm. Not
again! I drop my trowel in the dirt and wipe off my hands on my pink
skirt. Worms are so gross!
Sometimes when I hum, things like this happen. I told Mama and
she said that I was just imagining it. My hands clench into fists.
"I'm not a liar!" I declare. To prove her wrong, I open my
mouth and belt out my song. Soon, birds and mice and lizards join me,
scurrying around my toes and tickling my feet. The mice start
burrowing around the roots of my sunflower and I catch it before it
falls.
Suddenly, the lizards crawl up my legs and over my arms to the
flower and I shriek. I try to pry them off me, dropping the plant,
but they keep going. They carry the flower on their backs over to the
far side of the patch, the area with the best sunlight and soil. The
birds pick up the sunflower up while the mice and earthworms put the
dirt back.
I can't breathe and my chest feels tight. I bend over, trying
to breathe, but I can't. I can't. I can't.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I scrabble away on my hands and
knees.
"Wait! Let me help," an adult's voice says through the
haze. I turn around and a really tall man kneels in front of me. The
lump in my throat is going away, but it's still hard to breathe.
"Who are you?" I say but my voice hurts and I sound like my
grandmother when she uses her pipe.
"I'm a friend." He says, and he looks nice. "What was
going on out here?"
My Mama isn't here, and he is a stranger. Should I talk to him?
He said he was my friend, so he must be.
"I wanted to help my sunflower, but then the animals came and
scared me," I reply, pointing to the plant.
"Yes, I think I saw that. Do you know why they came?" He
asks. He looks nice.
I can hear Mama's warning in my head, but I like him. So I
smile, "Cause I sang to them. I like to sing and they did what I
wanted."
He smiles back at me, but now he doesn't look nearly as nice.
There's something in his eyes I don't like anymore.
I stand up, "I have to go find my Mama now."
He stands as well, "Yes, let's go find your mother."
He doesn't look nice.
The light of the morning forces my eyes open, lashes flickering
to clear the sleep from my clouded vision. An undignified groan
escapes my lips as I sit up and survey the area. At first, I am
confused, unsure of where I am and how I can to be there, but then
realization dawns with the day. Images of ash, blood, and water
reverberate through my mind, with less of the impulsivity from the
previous evening.
I swear, recalling all of my actions, checking for any possible
leaks, and reassessing my current situation. Even though there is no
plausible way for my location to have been betrayed, I cannot help
but to fear for the worst. Those men were too organized, too
educated, to be mere bandits, as I had previously suspected. No, they
were too well supplied. The only alternative is that they were
state-sanctioned. I am not sure if the political boundaries and
agreements changed in the last forty years. Indeed, they most likely
had changed, considering the condition the country was in when I
fled.
Several tents line the banks, with sleeping rolls, rations, and
other assorted items for me to loot. Eagerly, I sort through the
tents and collect a stack of supplies that may be useful. I find a
compass, a couple sheets of blank paper, a serrated knife, and
several hunks of bread and cheese, as well as a bag for carrying all
of it back to the cottage. All of my thoughts come to a halt at this.
My cottage. There is no way for me to live as I am used to now.
There will not be any paper to compose, no fresh bread to eat, no ink
to document, no new clothes to wear. My minimal contact, it seems,
was integral, perhaps more than I ever realized. Without the village,
the villagers, I will be able to survive, but I will loathe every
moment of that time.
The bag in my hand is only a temporary relief. In order to fix
the situation, I must either move and find a new location or find the
villagers and resume my agreement with them. Both of these options
are less than convenient.
The townspeople provided every week for forty years without fail.
I would not categorize my opinion as loyal, but rather appreciative
of the consistency. Getting another town to cooperate would expose my
existence to yet another group of humans and increase the chance of
being caught.
Nodding to myself in agreement, I rise to my feet from where I
was perched on the bank, dust off my skirt, and head back towards the
direction I came from, beginning the search for the missing
villagers.
Instead of heading back to the burnt out settlement, I head
towards the tree line. I am going to need more than an instrument to
travel for more than a few days, should it come to that. There are
only so many times one can wear the same clothes before hygiene
really comes into question.
The longest the townspeople could have travelled would be around
nine days, but I doubt they would have moved too significant a
distance away. I am not sure of the exact population count, but there
had to be at least two hundred, even considering the ones they left
behind. The group would not be expeditious, considering that the
people may have offspring that have to be looked after.
But even after I find the humans, what then? Their home would need
significant reconstruction that they are not capable of so far from
the major cities. At what point would they be able to provide any
amount of supplies to me? It could be months before they are prepared
with any surplus. Suddenly my plan seems pointless.
A black speck draws my eye. A caw, carried on the wind, reaches my
ears, and I catch the tone of urgency, of warning. My blood runs
cold; something is wrong. Even before I can contemplate or think, I
am flying across the grasslands, dust kicking up behind my heels. I
know I cannot keep this pace for long and before I reach the trees my
breaths come in ragged gulps and I slow to a jog. Pausing for a
minute, I put a hand on the trunk next to me to steady myself before
setting off at a manageable jog. I am not far now, but the distance
seems to multiply before my eyes, a ravine of forest holding me
captive.
The crow descends under the branches and glides from branch to
branch, acting as an unnecessary guide. I know this forest like the
back of my hand, for I have been here longer than most of its
inhabitants.
Eventually I come across signs of intrusion, the broken twigs and
disturbed tranquility of the forest evident from the hushed wildlife.
The normal chirps and calls of the organisms are gone, replaced
instead by a void that sends alarmed tingles down my spine.
More signs appear as I approach my home. Anger flashes through me
and my light footsteps become heavy with feeling. How dare they,
whoever they are, trespass in my woods? I will not tolerate it.
A familiar but long unheard sound penetrates the eerie quiet. A
sound that I wish never to hear again.
The cry of a human child.
I stop in my tracks. A thousand thoughts cross my head. Back forty
years ago, I was on the run and without a home. I fled into the
woods, in hope of escape. Perhaps the villagers did the same.
Based on the location of the hushed voices and the
thrice-be-damned child, who is still wailing like a banshee, they are
located about one hundred paces of my doorstep, too convenient for my
liking. No, they are here for a reason.
The crows have fulfilled their bidding faithfully, and I can see
that they have left not a speck of droppings on my house, which
pleases me more than it should. The birds are flustered and many, a
downright unsettling sight. The humans must be very persistent.
As I step up to my cottage, the crows part and die down a bit. A
mini settlement is parked on the embankment of the stream, dirty men,
women and children fanned out for some distance. A lone woman, middle
aged, turns to look at me and we make eye contact. Hers are sunken
into her sockets and a dull brown. Her eyebrows lift in surprise and
her arms reaches out and grabs the shoulder of the man next to her.
When he spots me, he calls out to his companions, and eventually all
gazes are firmly planted on me. For a second, no one dares move.
Then, a weathered old man steps out of the crowds.
I scan his face, and I vaguely recognize the cut of his jaw and
brows. His walking stick clacks against the rocks, and with his
haggard appearance, his spry form seems much better suited for
someone a decade younger. He advances toward towards me, his eyebrows
lowered in consternation.
"It has been a long time," He rumbles, extending his hand for
me to shake. I glance down at the gesture, but do not return it. He
lowers it, no surprise showing on his countenance. Instead, he just
lifts a brow, and in that single gesture, I remember his identity. I
look past the years crinkling his face and wash the grey from his
hair and beard, and instead of the grizzled old man in front of me, I
see the young leader who offered a traitor a boon.
"Why are you here, Baylor?" I query, my discomfort at the
intrusion displayed as irritation. The sight of people in my clearing
is so out-of-place and unusual that I am not sure how to process it.
The child is still crying, and the sound is like a needle in the back
of my skull.
"You have not changed a bit, I see. Very well, I will get to
the point," he states, adjusting his hold on the wood. "We need
your help."
"Since you're camped practically on my doorstep, I had
gathered that much. So what do you want?" My voice is gruff. I am
faintly alarmed that the old man, in his youth so prideful, reduced
to a beggar's status.
"I suspect you already know what happened to our home." He
cocks his head to the side and I nod my head slightly. He continues,
"We had nowhere else to go, so we came here, but we cannot stay,
for obvious reasons."
I may be safe enough here, but my cozy forest is far from benign
for two hundred weary people who are used to trading for food. The
wolves alone would rip them to shreds, picking them off one by one.
"I am here to call upon your debt to us. Escort us to the
capital, and protect us on the way." He utters commandingly. My
eyes narrow in derision, but underneath my icy exterior, I choke on
the word 'debt'.
"You know that our agreement was a contract, not a favor. I owe
you nothing." My words are clipped, and even I can hear how
defensive they sound.
"I would hardly call saving your life, harboring you at the
threat of my, and others, safety a contract. Music is hardly equal to
a life, such that it is." The last part he mutters, an edge of
distain etched into it.
"On the contrary, music is the only reason to live. I should
know, and you would do well to remember," I reply, a threat lacing
its content. He does not even flinch. Perhaps he is too desperate to
care, as I once was.
I can see myself in him at this moment. Forty years has reduced
him down to a husk, but for me, those years slipped around my
agelessness and are a fraction of the life I have lived. Even so, I
am sure that I was the mirror image to him now, perhaps more pitiful,
when I showed up on his doorstep that fateful night. How the tables
have turned.
"I am well aware of your power, Ellias. More than you may know.
You could've killed us the moment you knew about our presence, so I
wonder at why you did not punish us for a breach in the so-called
'contract'" He infuses sarcasm into this last word. "As it
is, you're the reason we are here in the first place."
"You can't expect me to believe that Vatzja is still
searching for me? I doubt that he is still alive; he was such an old
bastard when I knew him." I laugh harshly. The thought is
comforting. "Besides, you may be happy to know that justice was
delivered. The ones who burned your quaint little settlement," my
mouth twists wryly, "are enjoying a nice swim in the river Riuka."
His eyes widen a fraction, betraying his surprise. Surely, he
knew they would not get away with sniping me in such a manner?
"Burned?" He asks, incredulous. "What do you mean, burned?"
Confusion roils through his body. Baylor's face is genuinely
questioning, so he clearly did not know.
"All of the houses were burned to the ground. There is nothing
left." I report mercilessly. I might as well enlighten him.
"No, that can't be right." His brows come down, two angles
slashing across his forehead. "It makes no sense."
Now I am the one confused, "What makes no sense?" I say
warily. This whole situation, from the beginning, has been bizarre.
Head bowed, he speaks, "They had no reason to burn the town
down. They were going to use it as a stepping-stone to launch an
attack on the capital, no surprise there. You likely don't know the
current political going-ons, but civil war is on the horizon."
I snort, "Maybe they changed their minds." The wiles of the
humans should not concern me. Should not, and yet here I am, in
conversation with one.
"No. They took five hostages and promised to release them after
seven days, to make sure that we had left for good. I was asking you
before to take us to the capital, so they could clear out the rebels
for us." His hand comes up and strokes his beard in thought.
"It appears we have been talking about two different things."
I say, curiosity high on my mind.
"Indeed, it does." He replies. He pauses for a moment, his
hand stilling. "Even so, I must repeat my demand. Will you help us
reach the capital? We have no home left to go back to, according to
you, and we will not be safe with bandits on the roads."
I am quick to say no, but the words do not pass my tongue. If I
did not help, they would leave anyway, and I would be left in the
same predicament I was before.
"I will think about it." I say, my gaze sliding away from
his. He shifts his stance, relief bowing his already stooped
shoulders.
"That is more than I expected. Thank you, Ellias." He
responds. The gratitude filling his voice makes me uncomfortable. The
feelings floating through my mind are inscrutable. I nod in
acknowledgement, before replying,
"I will have my response for you in the morning. You may spend
the night here. The crows will protect you, but do not approach my
home." I say coldly. "And for God's sake, shut that child up!"
I spin, and enter my cottage, shutting the door behind me.
Glancing out the window, I can see Baylor bow once, deeply from the
waste, before returning to his people. I draw the curtains closed,
hyperaware of their origins, and my decision already made.
My eyes droop and the writing on the page blurs into an
incomprehensible mess. Black crowds the edges of my vision, and
warmth filters through my limbs as I settle in for a doze.
A stinging pain reverberates up my arm and my head jerks up, arm
coming to my chest as I cradle it. It has a red, rectangular print
from the ruler slapped on the porcelain skin, and I glare up at my
tutor, death in my eyes.
"That hurt!" I yell, indignant, or as indignant as a
nine-year-old could be.
"Then don't fall asleep during lessons." He replies,
unconcerned. "Now, what was the last thing you were conscious for?"
His mustache twitches in annoyance, and I stifle the urge to giggle.
I doubt that would help me.
"I don't know." I say, a little sheepish. I am supposed to
be working hard, like Mama said, but I cannot seem to find the energy
lately.
The room I am in is small and full of books, and the atmosphere
is overwhelmingly tan. The smell of dust fills my nostrils, and I
always sneeze when I walk in. The thick rug muffles the natural
echoes expected from a stone room, so the denseness of the air just
adds to my sore mood.
"Have you not been sleeping well?" He asks with a casual
interest. I do not feel like studying anymore today, so I play along.
"No, I haven't." I can see interest flair in his eyes,
though he tries to hide it. My tutor, a young man, about thirty, is
an open book.
"Why not?" he asks, the question too smooth. I do not
understand why he would be interested, considering he never cared
about my welfare before. His fingers lace in front of him, and I keep
my eyes on his ink stained hands.
"I have been having the weirdest dreams." I drawl.
"What have they been about?" He asks, and a sliver of unease
echoes through my mind.
I look up and my eyes narrow in suspicion, "Why do you want to
know?"
He sees that he over steps and I can see the contemplation behind
his eyes. He is trying to decide whether to pursue his line of
questioning at the risk of making me suspicious, like I already am.
Unfortunately, I have already been through the ropes here at
Cerrasto, so I know about the games of lies adults play.
"If you are so eager to begin your lesson again, let's start.
What it the proper conjugation of-" He cuts off as I start singing.
In my dreams, I could make people do what I want, just as I did with
the bird, worms, and lizards. I am not sure how I did it then, and I
am not sure how I can do it now. My tutor's face goes blank and his
body goes rigid.
My body relaxes, as it never has before, the song coming from
deep inside the recesses of my brain. It feels natural, so much so
that I forget why I am doing it in the first place. A sense of
infinite dvu washes over me, and I smack a hand to my forehead
to clear it. My voice stops, and I am not sure if I am still in
control of my body.
I close my mouth, and look around warily. No one is rushing in,
ready to snatch me away like they did before. My teacher is still in
front of me, motionless. I wave a hand in front of his face, but he
does not respond. I shrug. Maybe he is daydreaming.
I slip out of the room, down the steps, out the back door, and
into the field behind the walls. I skip along the path, pebbles
clattering in tandem, until I spy the brief spot of sun, dotting the
shaded clearing. The tiny shoots have grown to about waist height,
and I nurse them daily. The weather is not right for them here, but I
hope to see them bloom in full before the year is out.
I sit in the damp earth next to my sunflowers, content to hum the
rest of the day away without verb conjugations or histories.
How odd it is to wake up to the familiar and comforting
environment of home, with its candles and crocheted throw blanket,
only to be instantly revolted by the racket of the two hundred or
more humans now living on my front lawn, doing their damnedest to
make me regret helping them. As I blink the sleep from my crusted
eyes, I curse them for their noise. Judging from the light blandly
filtering through the panes, it is just past dawn. Far too early to
stir myself on their account.
I see to my daily routine, making breakfast and tidying up the
living space some. Though my house is cluttered, it is not dirty. I
intend to keep it that way. After seeing to everything, I dawdle for
a few moments longer, and then stride out the door, confidence
filling every step. I have braided and coiled my hair around the top
of my head, tucked and hidden beneath my hat. I head right for
Baylor, ignoring the men and women, ragged and soiled, who look at me
with alternating expressions of disgust and hope.
He looks up from where he is perched on the rough surface of a
stone slab nearest the creek. His face holds no expression as I
approach, maintaining an air of studied indifference. He waits for me
to speak first.
"I will go along with you, on two conditions," I state, hands
planted on my hips, which are shifted to side.
"What conditions might they be?" He murmurs. With an
exhalation of air, he lurches to a standing position, using his
walking stick as a brace. Based on the tension visible in his
shoulders and stance, he seems prepared for me to ask him for a
mountain of gold and a throne. I almost laugh, for I have had a taste
of riches and fortune, and the thought holds no comfort or appeal to
me. Not now.
"That you and your little town come back and resettle around me
again. I don't care if you return to your old village or not, so
long as you are close by. I would like to resume our bargain," my
mouth twitches into a smile at this, "when this is finished. My
second condition is that you buy me a new instrument when we are in
the capital."
Surprise flickers through his hooded eyes, "That's it?"
I raise an eyebrow, "Do you want me to ask for more?"
He shakes his head, but suspicion flashes through his gaze. "Why
would you ask for so little when we would have no choice? I must say,
it seems too good to be true."
"Believe me or not, but I enjoy my current circumstances," I
narrow my eyes, "certainly more than I enjoy getting my tongue cut
out."
I can see his vision glaze over with memory, of that day forty
years ago. The rain was pouring down in sheets and mud clogged the
streets. The knock on his door was shaky and filled with desperation.
The woman who had been on his doorstep had been skin and bones, cloak
pulled low over her eyes. When she opened her mouth, a broken sound
had barely emitted from it. Her tongue had been removed and shorn
muscle still remained in shredded lumps in the back of her mouth.
I was that woman, and the memory is as fresh as it was forty years
ago. By examining the figure in front of me, it appears that he is
the same.
He snaps out of his daze and shrugs, "Very
well. It is a deal." He holds out his hand, like he did yesterday.
This time I do take it, shaking on our agreement.
|