Making a change for the better

Follow you heart, a dream, an ambition or just a way of life. Take it in your hands and believe in it - believe in it enough to give up everything you have built, everything you believed in and everything you took for granted. To take that step into the light and not allow yourself to look back is a powerful thing.

I made my decision based on a feeling. A feeling of daily regret, a feeling of dread and most of all a growing anger inside of me. I've never been an angry person, in fact it rarely enters my psyche and yet, when I knew everything was going wrong was at that same moment I realised anger was all I had left. I soon realised the anger came from frustration and tension and stress and pressure, so many negatives in a life cannot be ignored. And when I looked even closer, it all came from one direction.

I tried all I could to relieve it too. Nothing creative came out of me, so I went to the gym, walked the dog for hours a day, worked on myself - none of it made a difference. I was ill more often than I'd ever been - took more sick days than I ever have - all because I couldn't cope beyond Wednesday.

So I quit. The notion is easier than the fallout. And yet the feeling didn't even come close to how I thought it would feel. Of course I'm scared - I'm getting married in just over four months, I have a mortgage and a husband-to-be to look after and a dog to pay for. It's not going to be easy and I can't guarantee I'll end up doing a job I love, but I'll work and I'll do exactly what's needed to make life happen. And I'll be proud of myself every day for taking that step into the light and not continuing down a path of darkness, for the sake of adulthood and bills and ties and responsibilities. What's it matter anyway?

The fact is, when it comes down to it and your family spend their early mornings writing your eulogy, the career path you chose doesn't even feature. What does is what kind of person you were, who you helped, the family you raised and looked after and the people whose lives you touched. Everything else - well it's just a by-product of life. It's time to turn our thought process around - work isn't what's important - what is is how it makes you feel. And if everyday is filled with negativity it won't be long before that takes a nasty effect on your wellbeing and ultimately the people around you.

I think we all have to learn sometimes where to draw the line. Well I drew it - and I'm on a new path and I created that move - it took guts and determination, but I walked away, because I know the true meaning of life - and it's not in saying what you do, it's in how that makes you feel.