Blue Sea Shells

Blue Sea Shells

Ominous, dark clouds had gathered over the ocean and an eerie silence hung over the pristine, deserted beach usually thronging with young people. No fisherman boats could be seen either.

Jessica's slender legs trailed over the white and blue shells of 'Find Love' beach as the locals called it. People came here to meet the love of their lives. Jessica was here because she had lost the love of her life.

The stinging memory of her beloved combined with pills, yoga and shrink had not helped the suffocating sobs which had visited her intermittently over the last couple of months. And in one adrenaline moment she had quit her job and headed straight towards this rumored island of love.

Her eyes caught a pair red sandals sticking out of a life-guard tower.

Going nearer, she found a half asleep man; a straw hat covering his eyes while his legs jingled to some silent music.

The moment he slid away his hat, an exquisite sight met her.

Complete with almond skin and twinkling brown eyes, a chiseled face wrinkled with a handsome grin stared at her.

"Howdy!!" he called out "Come and have a seat here, Missy!"

"Storm is coming" she said as she took the chair next to him.

"Storm, as in your boyfriend?" he asked "Is he the rock star we were expecting this month?"

"No. Storm, the typhoon. Not the other one" she said, giggling.

"Oh. That...Yup...We get that a lot over here" he said, looking at the skies with a distant stare "Oh hey...I am Ajay...the local life guard...always to your rescue!!!"

"I'm Jessica...and I am here for a couple of days to...."

"Find love, eh?" he asked, casually

"No. To feel love." she sighed, staring at the steadily darkening sky.

"Don't mind me asking, but aren't those two the same thing?" he asked

"I can bore you just like I've bored dozens of other people for the last few months" She said "It's a long damned, tragic story..."

"Let me guess...You recently lost a loved one" Ajay said, staring deep into her sad eyes "And you are here to find yourself again?"

"You get that a lot here too, don't you?" Jessica said,smiling

"A lovely lady like you, strolling alone with melancholy hanging over her like a halo..."He said "It's text book! Beer?"

"No, thanks. I quit."

"Ok, coco water then" Ajay smiled, whipping out a coconut from behind his chair" Welcome to the 'Find Love' beach!"

"Thank you. It was almost as if you were expecting me"

"On a stormy afternoon like this? Nah..." Ajay said, though Jessica could have sworn he half winked at her.

A gusty breeze swept across the stooping coconut trees and made the red flags on the beach flutter like an infatuated teen's heart.

A strange peacefulness settled over her as she listened to his jokes about the myriad tourists and their escapades.

His smooth voice, now barely audible over the roaring breeze sounded like an exotic lullaby to the deranged girl who breathed in the elixir of his joyfulness along with the salty breeze.

"It's going to rain soon" he murmured, stretching his muscular, tanned body. "Let's go for a quick walk, before the rain comes down upon us."

As their feet synchronized over the shells, Jessica spotted an odd, repeating pattern with the blue ones, surrounded by their white cousins.

"Hey...Look! The blue shells are arranged in heart patterns all over the beach" She cried out, excitedly

"They don't call it the 'Find Love' beach just because of the beach parties and weed!" he said, laughing

It was already drizzling by the time they reached a cove with brilliantly colored corals.

"It's so beautiful over here! I wish Morgan could be with me right now" Jessica shuddered as they waded into the pool "But he is gone. Gone forever! And I'm never finding love again!"

"I lost my wife to the sea last year." Ajay said

"Oh. I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be..." he whispered, touching her arms for the first time. His fingers trailed over the length of her skin and came to a halt at her clenching fist which he opened like a sleeping lotus and placed a red, heart shaped shell on it "Here is a gift from me and the island. Never stop believing in love."

It was then that rain descended on them.

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The morning after the storm flashed the usual bright sunshiny skies and clear turquoise waters.

Jessica woke up to the sound of sea gulls and lay recollecting her dreams from last night. They were a blur of a handsome smiling man, the wailing gale and a red shiny object. She turned to check her clock when the red shell caught her eyes. It lay gleaming on the side table, as the sun had crept into the room through the venetian blinds.

She took a quick shower, put on a sun dress and after lathering herself with sun screen, headed out.

But when she reached the beach, a surprising sight met her.

A bunch of people were dancing under the sun, cocktails in hand while music blared out of a beach shack. In fact, the entire stretch of the beach was lined with shacks and sound boxes. Surfers were having the time of their lives riding the high, crystal blue waves. Today the blue shells were scattered over the silvery ones like a crowd of stars in the sky.

She walked over to a man sitting under a 'life-guard' sign, wearing a familiar straw hat .But he was not Ajay.

"Is it Ajay's day off?" Jess asked the man who sat scanning the waters.

"Ajay???"

"Erm yes...dark skinned, muscular guy with an average build??" she said, eagerly "He was here yesterday"

"You met Ajay yesterday?" he asked again, surprised "Are you sure? Was he the one with the brown faraway eyes?"

"Yeah... sort of distant brown eyes" Jess said

"Ma'am, I don't think you could have met him" he said, darkly "He hasn't been around here for some time now!"

Jessica's hand automatically went to her handbag. She held up the red sea shell in front of the man and said "Look...He gave me this yesterday...near the cove...He must be around somewhere!"

"Why do you look so familiar?" The life-guard said, squinting at her "Have you been here before?"

"No. This is my first time!" Jessica said, shrugging "Anyways, I'll go find Ajay. Bye!"

"Ma'am...Hold on!" He called out when she had crossed a few paces "You won't find him, I'm sorry! He died last year while trying to save his wife!"

A chill ran down her spine as she spun around.

"I don't believe you!" she said "I saw him here, in person, yesterday afternoon!"

"I'm not saying you didn't see him" he said, sadly "Maybe he came back. There are rumors he can be seen at times on the beach..."

"Nonsense...." she snarled angrily and walked away from the man.

"What an unpleasant fellow!" she thought "Fancy making up stories just to scare me?!"

She tried to remember the last time she had seen Ajay. It had been near the cove. He had given her the shell and then it had started to rain like cats and dogs. They had run for cover. She remembered running like maniacs across the beach, the storm chasing them from behind. Then a lovely hot shower. The next thing she remembered was waking up to the sea gulls' chime.

Where had Ajay gone?

She asked a few shack owners about him, but they didn't appear to know him.

Jessica spent the morning at a cafe, having Spanish omelet and orange juice, listening to the radio playing in her background. It was then that memories of her husband came rushing back to her.

It had been a sunny day just like this. She was holidaying with her girlfriends at some famous beach. She couldn't remember where, but it was a beautiful intoxicated morning and the gleeful gang of girls had marched into a beach cafe to drain away the toxins from last night's party. Someone had made a lame joke and everyone was laughing hysterically, last night still lingering in their veins.

A man had coughed from behind and turning around she had seen her husband for the very first time. Gorgeous, with his long dark hair tied in a smart pony tail, Morgan had smiled his way into Jessica's heart that very moment.

She had stayed back at the beach when her friends had flown back home. She was so deeply in love with him.

She had marched into her parents' apartment a few months later with her smart, funny and incredibly handsome fianc They got married at the same beach next month. She had not really cared about her family and friends being skeptical about her sudden decision. She was dizzy with infinite happiness. Jessica rubbed her engagement ring and felt gloom descending on her like a landslide.

"Hey...You are here! Good Morning!" A chirpy voice shook her out of the morose reverie.

"Ajay!!!Oh my God!" she gaped at the tanned, smiling face.

"Yeah...I know...I've got great abs..." Ajay grinned, looking down at his open-buttoned shirt "Comes from swimming a lot"

"No...I mean...I am so glad to see you!" She said, feeling relieved and happy

"Me too..." he said, smiling "So what are your plans for today?"

"Nothing...just relax a bit." she said

"Relax? What are you...eighty or something?" Ajay smirked "Come on...let's go surfing!"

"I don't know how to surf!!"

"Good...I'll teach you then...That is 200rupees an hour"

"I can't...I had an accident a few months back..." Jessica pointed at a stitch on her forehead "Doctor asked me to stay away from doing anything adventurous!"

"You listen to those folks wearing white coats smelling like starch?? hahahahah!" Ajay laughed at her "Listen...Those guys don't know a thing about living life! Life is not about sitting in your cabin and watching Ellen DeGeneres making you laugh...It's about seizing the moment..."

"I know how to seize the moment..." She said, indignantly

"Yeah right....You are so damn uptight that you are even scared of trying..."

"Fine...let's go surfing!" Jessica said and swinging her sling back over her shoulders, marched out of the cafe door.

"Cool! Hop on..."Ajay grinned, as he started his scooter.

"The beach is right over there!" she rolled her eyes "I don't need a ride."

"Who said I'm going to teach you how to surf in this crowded jungle?" he laughed "Come on. I'll take you to my special place"

"You crazy? How do I know if you are up to something bad?"

"Do I look like a crook to you?" he laughed again "Lady...you city folks are way too scared about everything!"

Something in the man's funny welcoming demeanor made her want to trust him. So they went up quaint little bumpy hillocks with the ocean gleaming in a brilliant shade of blue beneath them.

They passed green paddy fields, old churches and cobbled paths which finally went downhill to a little beach completely isolated from the main one. There was a sole shack on the whole beach which appeared to be a changing room. Apart from that and the sea gulls, it was pretty much deserted.

She fell face down the moment she mounted her board. The first splash into the cold ocean water brought a hurricane of memories rushing back inside her head. She climbed back slowly and steadied herself up, balancing perfectly on her board. As Ajay glided past her smiling, something warm passed through her body.

She knew how to surf!

Morgan had taught her during their honeymoon.

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"So... Why did you tell me you didn't know how to surf?" Ajay asked as they sat poking the wooden fire on the beach that evening, trying to roast freshly caught shrimp and crabs.

"I don't know! God! My shrink is going to kill me if she gets to know about this!!" Jess replied sleepily, tossing away the empty bottle of wine. "I can't remember a lot of things these days. Things just visit me in sudden flashes..."

"The accident caused this?"

"Maybe... maybe not...." She said, rolling over the cool sand "God...Life is just so hard to remember at times.....!"

Ajay sat blinking at the fire. The sky was a riot of colors and the ocean was a mysterious shade of purple.

He bent over and stroke her wet golden hair streaked with the silver sand.

"Your eyes change colors throughout the day!" he observed "It was light brown this morning, almost green while you were surfing and now its dark purple! Wow!"

"My husband used to say things like this!" she said, staring at the stars just beginning to appear "Tell me, Ajay! Do you miss your wife?"

"Everyday..."he said "I lost her in a jiffy! Poof!!Just like that..."

"How?"

"We were surfing. It was a clear day...you don't expect rogue waves on a day like that" He said slowly "But it came. Out of the blue!...knocking my baby over....I dove after her...But another rogue one came after that...I tried frantically to fight the current under the waves .But after a few minutes, I realized that I had lost her! "

"A man told a really creepy story at the beach today" Jess said, sitting up "I was looking for you...and he said you were dead!!!"

"While trying to save my wife, right??"Ajay sniggered "Yeah...people say a lot of stuff here..."

"For one second I believed that man" she said "I was so relieved to see you in that cafe"

"I'm not asking you not to believe him"

"What do you mean!!!??" she exclaimed "You are sitting next to me!! How can you be supposedly dead?"

"A lot of things aren't what they appear to be."

"Please tell me you are joking!" she cried out "You are giving me the creeps!"

"God!!You do scare easily!!" Ajay laughed "It's fun to watch a scared girl on a dark deserted beach!"

"You are sick!!" Jess said, laughing

"What happened to your husband?" Ajay asked, brushing off the sand from her back.

Jessica sat staring at the waves for a long time without saying a word.

"Would you mind if I don't tell you?" she said, finally

"Why? Why can't you tell me?" he asked, surprised

"Because, I get a damned convulsing head ache every time I try to remember that."

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Late that night, she woke up feeling terribly cold. Thick fog encircled her and she realized she was lying on the beach as sand rubbed against her back. Shivering, she sat up. Everything felt groggy and clammy.

A warm hand startled her and she almost screamed out in shock before she realized it was only Ajay.

He put a blanket around her and pulled her close to his chest. She lay, listening to his heart beat for a long time.

"Hey...I think I'm falling in love with you!" Jess whispered softly

"No you are not."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you are still in love with your husband."

"Well. So are you. With your wife..." she said

"Nah....It's been almost a year since she took off...I can't feel her beside me anymore..." he sighed

"You know what? I don't think Morgan ever left me..." she said, silently "But when I'm with you, it is like finding myself all over again."

"You think so?" he asked, gently cuddling her soft shoulders "Then tomorrow morning we go fishing..."

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Ajay steered his little motor boat along the side of the bay, keeping a close eye at the coastline. The blue shells glimmered in the sunlight and were all pointed towards a westwards direction today.

"Why are you going so close to the coast?" Jess asked, leaning over one side of the boat. "Aren't we supposed to go to the middle of the ocean and spread nets or something?"

"No...Those are big fishing boats, with proper fishing gears in them" He said "With my little boat...we have to make peace with the lagoon."

She realized that they were going towards the direction the shells were pointing at.

Suddenly, the boat came to a huge opening where the sea had curved right into the mainland. They slowly entered the lagoon which soon narrowed down into a twisting tunnel of water. It was cool and shady with dense mangroves and coconut trees encircling them from all sides. As the boat glided through the still glass like water, Jessica leaned over and watched the aquatic life breeding on the bed of the lagoon.

Occasionally, they would see a wily kingfisher flying overhead, with a limp fish hanging from its pointed beak. After about quarter of an hour, they came to a spot where dozens of cranes stood knee deep in the shallow water waiting for their prey.

Ajay anchored his boat there and threw the net across the clear water. Jess watched with interest as the net began to fill with fishes.

"Help me haul it up!!"He cried out, gleefully "We've caught plenty to keep Ma happy!!"

"Ma?!" she asked, standing up, getting ready to pull the net up.

"Yeah...we are going to my house after this" he said "My mother will be very happy to see you."

Nonplussed, Jess tugged at the net's end along with him.

Immediately her brain became numb with another vivid memory.

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"Whoa!!!!" Jess was crying out loud "Look at all those fishes! Let's fry them all and eat immediately!!"

"Hang on, Lady!!"Morgan laughed "We still have the most important thing to do! Catch them!"

"Okieee" she squealed and leaned over rather deeply over the edge, trying to catch one with her bare hands.

"Hey...look out...!"

But too late, Jess was already in the water. Gasping for breath, she resurfaced and started laughing immediately.

"Did you see that?? It's amazing!!" she squealed in joy "The water is so cold...arrrghhhh...!!"

"Jessie!! Come on up!!!" Morgan looked worried as he stretched his hand towards her

"Wait...Let me bask in the sun for a while..." Jess flopped on her back and floated eagle spread on the icy cold water.

"You will catch a cold...."

"Stop being such a spoilt sport!!" she cried out "Hey what is that??Is that a....?"

A narrow snout faced thing was fast approaching her spot from the other bank of the river.

"Jess......It's a croc!!!"Morgan shouted out urgently.

"What?!!!!"

In panic, she started flailing around, losing control of herself.

Splash! Her husband was beside her in one quick second and had shoved her up on the boat. The 'Croc' was mere meters away when the dripping wet man climbed onto the boat.

It was then that they realized it was only a log of wood.

"Hey...You saved me from a log of wood, Tiger!" Jess giggled as he wrapped her with a dry towel.

"Sure as hell I did!!" he grinned "Now would you mind not jumping from a boat without any warning?"

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"What are you smiling at?" Ajay asked, peering at her

"Nothing...just an old memory..." she said "They have been visiting me quite often the last couple of days."

"Well...we have caught enough for today!" he said filling his bucket "You are going to have a gala lunch."

"Ajay? Are there any crocodiles here?" she asked, suddenly

"No...none..."he said, surprised "But sometimes they swim up to the lagoon from the river."

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They reached Ajay's house a little before noon. It was a beautiful old fashioned house, complete with a courtyard in the front and a vegetable garden at the back. An old wrinkly lady answered the door and her face lit up the moment she saw them.

She threw her arms round Jess's neck and poured out a torrent of warm greetings in the local dialect.

Smiling back at the dear old lady, she said "Hello Madam! We have been fishing for you...Your son is an excellent fisher man!!"

"Son...good...fisherman...!" The lady agreed with her heartily, nodding her head.

"I'm Jessica!"

"Welcome...welcome..."

She hugged her again and taking the basket of fish from her, went inside.

"Come on in..."Ajay said "I told you she was going to be happy seeing you..!"

"She is a sweetheart"

A grand feast was laid before her for lunch. Jess looked into the twinkly eyes of the lady and thanked her for the wonderful meal over and over again. She was given a tour of the house next.

As she walked up the creaky wooden staircase, a familiar scent came haunting up her nostrils. She couldn't pin point where but she was sure she had smelt it before. It was a mixture of spices, sandalwood and jasmine. It hung on to every corner of the house. And her memory.

"Me very glad you come." the lady of the house murmured, holding her hands "Me very lonely."

Jessica saw there were tears in her eyes. She didn't know what to do, so kept smiling good naturedly at her.

Suddenly the lady brushed aside her hair from her forehead and touched her stitches.

"Hurt bad?" she asked

"Err...no...not any more..." she said, taken aback

"Good..." She said, tapping her head "All good ..."

Bewildered, she was led her into the master bedroom. A wooden swing hung from the ceiling, swaying slightly in the breeze.

A curious feeling was beginning to spread through her body. A feeling of 'dvu'.

"You love swing" the lady beckoned her to it.

Jessica sat down on it, her mind buzzing furiously.

How did the lady know she loved swings?

She got up from the swing and went to a window. The ocean could be seen from it over the pillage of greenery. Turning around, she found the old lady hunched over a night stand. A series of photographs adorned the antic furniture.

Going nearer she received the shock of her life!!!

There was Morgan...laughing ...so handsome in his tux and brushed back hair, holding her, the blushing pretty bride with streaks of violet and blue in her blonde hair. And there was a picture of them at the beach. Both of them were laughing and holding each other tight, wearing surf suits. And then there was one of her, holding a fishing rod!

They was all photos of her life from a year ago!

But what were they doing here, in this old lady's bedroom??

She stood, rooted to the floor, her head spinning fast.

"Me....Your Ma!!" she saw the lady mouth

She sat down, feeling sick.

In one quick motion, her head hit the floor and just when her memories opened their flood gates, everything went dark.

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Jessica opened her eyes at dusk. She sat up, pulling off the wet sponge from her throbbing forehead.

By then she knew she was in Morgan's house. And the lady was Morgan's mother or her mother-in-law.

But why had Ajay brought her here? How had he known? And where was he? He seemed to have disappeared post lunch.

Going down, she found the lady sitting, knitting at her arm chair.

Seeing her, she dropped her work and limped forwards.

"You not well..." she said, shaking her head

"I'm all right...."Jess said, her voice quivering "Where is Ajay??"

"Ajay...my heart...your heart..." she said, sadly "Gone!! But you come back...me so happy!!!"

"I don't understand....." Jess shouted out, suddenly losing her temper "My husband was Morgan!! Your son was Morgan!!! Who is this Ajay?? And where is he???"

"Morgan....Ajay...gone..."

"What gone...?"

"He save you from the waves...."the old lady stuttered " You hit the rocks...waves take him...Morgan gone...My Ajay gone!!!"

"Morgan-Ajay!!!????What the hell is going on..." she shouted again, looking infuriated.

"Ahh...your accident...you hit the rocks..." her mother-in-law patted her arms kindly and led her to a book shelf. She took out an old photo album and showed her a faded picture of a man, steering a boat.

Below it, was written: Morgan Johnson,1956.

He was an exact copy of Ajay. Or was it Morgan?

Jess closed her eyes and thought hard. The dark hair and eyes, the tanned muscular body, the broad jovial smile...!!! Minus the long hair, Morgan could have easily passed off as Ajay!!

"My husband...Morgan...your husband, Morgan Jr...my son, Ajay!" The lady was saying in her broken English.

But Jessica was running out of the door as fast she could. She looked everywhere. The courtyard, the cowshed, the garden. There was no sign of Ajay anywhere!!

Or had there been any Ajay at all??

The boat stood where they had left it and as Jess jumped on it and started the engine, she turned back towards the house. Mrs. Johnson stood at the porch, tears rolling down her gaunt cheeks.

How she managed to get back to the beach, she didn't know. When she finally climbed back on the scooter which stood firmly at one side of the beach, some of her senses finally sprang back to life.

The answers she had been searching for so long were finally making their way towards her.

She went back to her hotel and started packing with an agitated pace. She had to leave this place as soon as possible.

Her handbag got turned over in the hurry and everything spilled out on the carpet. As she was picking everything up, her trembling hands found a strange new object on the floor.

It was a dark blue shell pendant on a silver chain. It felt wonderfully smooth to her touch and as she opened the hinge, a note fell on her lap.

"When the time comes, let go!" It read.

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