Serine Sarah

-"Sarah? Aya. Listen there's some kind of fair on at Godwin Park. Do you fancy it? It's
free!"
-"Ooh I don't know. I may have to consult my .."
-" Extremely Hectic Hollywood Schedule"
we said in unison. I laughed. She laughed. We laughed.

They say that somewhere out there, there's one male who will `complete' you and who
you are destined to spend the rest of your lives with. Well Sarah and I were like that;
destined to be best friends.
Always.
When I look back I don't really remember any arguments we had, any petty squabbles,
any hair pulling fights. I think its mainly due to the fact that there weren't any.
Except at the end...

-"Meet you at about eleven, outside the parkgates?"
I could tell she was smiling even though she was on the other end of the phone. That
was what our relationship was like; we knew . Most of the time..
We met at ten past;I was never on time. At first it got Sarah angry - the perfect
perfectionist!
-"Aya matey!!"
Sarah looked me up and down; an annoying ritual.
-"Catapulted any frogs today??"
she asked with a completely straight face to which we both exploded with laughter,
drowning out the sound of the music from the park.
We'd sometimes sit chatting whilst others looked on bemused. We lived in our own
private world when we were together with, I suppose, our own special language; we knew
what we meant.

Now I talk to myself; the only one left to understand.

I remember the first time we met. It was our first day at high school. We all looked the
same in our neatly pressed uniforms enveloping the vulnerability and fear inside. I began
to sweat with apprehension as I felt as if all eyes were on me. Her eyes were. I looked up
to glance around at my peers and she was there. At the back table alone just smiling at
me coyly. She was exquisite. Her eyes radiated, her smile flooded her face with
vibrancy.
It took us two days to get round to talking to each other but we certainly made up for it!
I must admit I was intimidated by her vibrancy and her enthusiasm at first. She was
everything I wasn't and more; attractive, intelligent, popular,.. And yet the best thing
was that Sarah didn't know any of this. In her eyes she was just ordinary and yet in mine
she was far from it. She was everything. My everything.
Now I have nothing...

I often spend my days off looking at photos of us together. I work in a hair salon
as'general dogs body'. I'm sure that's my job title. I can spend hours just flicking
through the cellophane pages of my photo albums and its the nearest I can get to her. At
work I can keep busy but at home I need her with me to fill my days and weeks. I look at
her smiling out from the photos and its hard to remember the Sarah that was; a joyful
beautiful friend. My Sarah...
I'm so grateful to photography. I am able to remember her as she was, preserved in her
natural state. Before the pressures of the world crashed down on her.