1. The bullfrog hopped wildly from the lily pad.
2. He landed in the pond gracefully.
3. The girl frog sat on her pad beautifully.
4. He willingly showed off for her.
5. Then he sounded off with a croak very loudly
6. The girl frog disgustedly turned her back.
Each of these sentences is complete. However there is a much better way of telling this story. The above story simply describes the action. The following story paints a picture. The idea is to allow the reader to visualize the scene as opposed to simply telling what happened.
Bullfrog - Story B
1. The bullfrog leaped from the lily pad with a mighty hop.
2. He landed in the water without as much as a ripple.
3. A girl frog sat on another pad looking radiant to him.
4. He showed off for her with a great deal of joy.
5. All of a sudden he croaked with a loud and mighty croak.
6. The girl frog turned from him with disapproval and disgust.
Now you be the judge. Which story is more interesting?
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