Growing A Tree In The Desert

We spent our spare time for six months developing a super plant food to grow a shade tree in my back yard. They were a rare sight in the desert around Scottsdale.

Our first test was... kind of successful.

"Meet Frank," the lab's administrator introduced me around at my first company meeting six months earlier. "Our newest Biologist."

"The work is great," I replied, "but I miss the green of New England. Maybe we could create a super plant food, and grow some shade." That's how it started.

For our first test, we sprayed a heavy dose around a small Cottonwood from the local garden shop. Already a fast grower, maybe we could boast it's progress.

It took off like Jack's beanstalk!

BUT...

Turned out that it was a super food for more than trees.

The first overgrown earth worms fascinated everyone. Then they got bigger, much BIGGER. Started chewing their way downtown. Panic set in when the Johnson's house collapsed.

"Call in the National Guard," the crowd screamed at the Mayor.

Smoke was starting to rise from a burning gas station. The worms had knocked over a pump. The Guard arrived in force.

"Will they know how to deal with these slimy slither's?" I asked.

Sure did. Quickly herded them like long circular cattle into an empty feedlot.

A city wide cook-out was organized to thank the Guard and celebrate our survival. A 20 yard long fire pit was dug to cook hot dogs and hamburgers for all.

Suddenly, a still free worm crashed the party, sending people screaming into the streets. Sparks flew, a squeal sounded, as the Guardsmen forced the worm into the fire pit.

As smoke started to rise from the pit, it smelled appetizing.

"Let's try it," was suggested.

"Hmm, not bad. Just like chicken."