Raising Rabbits

Word Count 465

“Honey! I’m home…with a surprise!”

“How was the rabbit raising conference, or whatever you want to? And that surprise had better NOT have fur.”

“What if I brought you home a furry woman for a three-way?”

“First, I know you didn’t. Second, I’d STILL rather she not have fur, but I suppose I could overlook it just this once…maybe…depending on how MUCH fur…Hahahaha”

“Can you help me with the stuff in the car?”

“Does that stuff have fur?”

“Hahaha…um…not everything.”

“So help me, you’d better have brought home a rabbit fur coat.”

“I did.”


“Thank goodness. I was going to have to make you sleep on the couch if you’d brought home a real rabbit.”

“Well, that coat does still belong to the rabbit.”


“WHAT?!? You brought home a rabbit?”

“Three.”


“THREE RABBITS?!?”

“Technically, American Chincilla rabbits.”


“Oh god. You brought home a hybrid between chinchillas and rabbits…What have you done, woman?”

“No, they’re American Chinchilla rabbits—that’s the name of their breed. They’re on the Livestock Conservancy’s list of critically endangered animals. They’re the rarest breed of rabbit in America.”

“So you thought you’d bring home the last of something so we could kill it and become infamous?”

“We’re not going to kill them. I have faith in our skills.”

“I’m going to kill you, then they’ll just die a natural death of dehydration and starvation.”

“Honey!”

“I’m not taking care of rabbits. You’re taking them back.”

“I can’t take them back. The conference was five and a half hours away.”

“Then we’ll ship them.”

“We’re not shipping them. Besides, the lady was elderly and trying to get out of the rabbit breeding business.”

“Great. So there’s a no rabbit return rule. Perfect.”

“Just wait until you see them. They’re absolutely irresistible. And they’re some of the easier ones to take care of.”

“I’m sure they are NOT absolutely irresistible. I feel I could have resisted them just fine! And how can something that ‘breeds like rabbits’ be at risk for extinction?”

“People just aren’t breeding rabbits anymore and when they do, they pick larger breeds with more meat on them or breeds that have some unique look like the lop eared rabbits.”

“They’re staying in the garage.”

“Absolutely! Except in the summer…it’ll get too hot for them…well, and any other time it gets hot.”

“Well, they’re not living in the house with us!”

“We could always put an air conditioner in the garage…”

“SERIOUSLY?”

“Well, that’s something we can work out when we get to it. We still have months to go.”

“And I’m not taking care of them.”


“No. Of course not, dear. That’ll be my job and I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Sheesh! Rabbits…THREE rabbits…you know that upcoming horse seminar you wanted to attend. You’re not going!”