Deeper down the path slowly

He took me deeper and deeper down the path. He didnt force so at first the invisible rope he keeps on me had more slack. I used to be allowed to do many more things than now. the reason I am not allowed those things are not because he is insecure its because I would act out and say things and then things would get taken away. or it may be because i need whatever is going on now. I was trained over time to stop thinking and feel and follow. I used to spend a lot more time trying to figure out His moves. over time i learned its Impossible and futile to try. If I went left He went right. he was always way ahead of me. My mind is in His web and the mental bondage so strong that my mind circles and remembers all the ways im fed and how He feels and then i stop circling over time he taught me to be still and patient and submit to more and more and beg to be taken deeper because it felt so fucking good. oh yes there were hard lessons and days i thought it wasn't good or didn't feel good but it was not him doing anything it was me and my walls and my mind making up things that were not true.