7 Things I've Learned in Recovery

7 Things I've learned in Recovery

We can't do it alone. We desperately need to plug into God's grace. Without him, we are missing our power source that is necessary to change, to grow, and to sustain a new way of life. If we had the power unto ourselves, we would have tapped into it eons ago, before our lives became unmanageable. And we also need each other. We are designed for relationships and without them, we wall up and close off. Isolation can be deadly. We need support, accountability, and compassion. We need guidance from those who have gone before us and can show us the way.

Gratitude. I can't express this one enough. If we are constantly complaining about our circumstances, people, places and things, we are going to be mighty miserable. And so will everyone around us. Negativity is a spirit killer. It wipes out everyone and everything in its path. Gratitude lists are a good way to fight our way back into perspective and balance. The great thing is that you can make a list anywhere, anytime and the more we do it, the better we get at it. We will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Believe it.

Feelings. They're just feelings. They come and they go, up and down and all around, and sometimes they stay too long - like more than five seconds at a time - so we want to medicate them. Medication comes in different forms for different people but the outcome is the same for all of us. When we don't sit with and work through our feelings and instead choose to feed them in any number of unhealthy ways, they own us. And they will keep owning us until we learn some healthy coping mechanisms. Give them to God. And again. And again. And again.

Stay in my own lane. We need only be concerned with maintaining and staying in our own lane. This one is tough, I know. But we can't fix or change other people - only God can do that. And the sooner we acknowledge and accept this, the better life will be for us and all the other drivers on this long and winding road we call life. When I'm in your lane, I'm likely taking your inventory or trying to help you fill the potholes I think I see in your path - whether you want me to or not. This is often a no good, horrible thing for both drivers but for different reasons. Stay in your own lane and keep your eyes on the goal. For me, it's Jesus.

Progress, not perfection. We didn't get this broken overnight and we probably aren't going to do a 180 overnight either. We need to have grace for ourselves and for other people. When we don't do or say things perfectly, it can be devastating for some of us and we can get discouraged by it. We will be growing (that is the hope, isn't it?) for the rest of our lives. Gaining new insights and perspective about the past and the present. The great thing is that we don't have to do it perfectly and I don't think God expects us to. I don't think others expect us to either. Perfection is an impossible and unrealistic expectation that we place on ourselves and others and it only leads to heartache. Stop it. Have the grace to let people be who they are. With grace, comes peace.

Meetings and 12 Steps. Yes! Meetings provide fellowship and clean and sober events. It's a place to share our experience, strength and hope and hear others do the same. There are a lot of programs with many different meetings and I encourage people to keep looking until they find their tribe. Keep going because this is how we stay connected. And work the steps! There is a wealth of discovery, understanding, and healing that awaits us as we process our lives through the steps. I think that the more we know about God and ourselves the better chance we have of gaining freedom and keeping it.

Service. There are many gifts we are given in recovery, and the opportunity to bless others is definitely one of the greatest. I am heavily involved in Celebrate Recovery, a 12 step Christ-centered recovery ministry. For the last two years, I have taken this program into inmates at the women's prison located near my home. Service ~ the art of giving back ~ has been pivotal to my continued sobriety. Serving God and others has given me a purpose and a forever family. I wouldn't trade it for anything this world has to offer. Theologian Albert Schweitzer said "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve." There are many ways you can serve in any program you choose to be a part of. All you have to do is speak up and ask. It's soul food!