Why did God let this happen to me?

God doesn't choose to afflict us with hard times. God allows hard times to burden us.

Perhaps that's the wrong word. God allows hard times to strengthen us and our relationship with Him.

Think of Job. God allowed Satan to attack him, saying that Job would pull through and turn away from God.

James 1:2-4 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

We will face trials, but they're not meant simply to harm us and beat us down. Often it's when we are our weakest when we turn to God.

I suffer from depression. And, while I don't blame God, I do find myself asking Him repeatedly "why?" Why do I have to struggle with this? What do I have to learn from this? Is this a testing of my faith? Is that what this is for? To develop perseverance?

And I get frustrated because I'm tired of it. But God didn't purposely say, today I am going to afflict this person with depression. No, I believe he allows me to have depression. I don't know why. But I press on because of it.

Perhaps there is someone else out there who feels like no one will understand what they're going through, but I can, because I've been through it too. Or maybe there is a lesson I need to learn. Maybe God weeps for me as I suffer, patiently waiting for me to understand what it's for.

Maybe we need to stop telling God to hurry up and fix our problems and see what we can do ourselves. Now I'm not saying we need to leave God out of it. On the contrary, God needs to be a part of everything in your life. But maybe we should stop yelling at God and see what He's trying to do for us. What lesson should we take away from this particular trial? How can our experiences help someone else later on down the road?

"Consider it pure joy..." How many of us can honestly say that's our first response when something goes wrong? I can't. My first response is usually to get frustrated. In fact, I have a hard time being joyful, because it seems like depression leaves no room for joy. Maybe I need to take a hard look at the real definition of joy though, because joy is not the same as happiness.

God doesn't tell us to be happy that a loved one died. No, He says to be joyful. I would go on to describe what it really means to be joyful, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. What I do know is that it is not an emotion (despite what the Inside Out movie may try to tell you...).

So I guess the bottom line is this: God loves you. It's true. It doesn't matter if you've blamed Him for your problems, He still loves you. It wasn't His fault that you're sick, or someone you love is dying, or fill in the blank. He allows these things to happen to make you stronger. To help you trust Him more. And hopefully you will trust Him and love Him back.

[I am a Christian from a Grace Brethren church, but these opinions are all my own. I do not have biblical truths to back up all my claims. As always, look carefully to see what's contrary to God's word. Guard your hearts against false teaching. If you see anything in my post contrary to the Bible please let me know so I can make changes accordingly. Also, if you have any applicable scripture references PLEASE let me know so I can back up what I say.]