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Rated: E · Short Story · Fantasy · #2064476
A parody of fairy tales with some unforeseen twists
The king leaned back in his chair, taking a quick look at all the knights that had gathered before him.

"Whoever brings back the Princess from the evil Sorceress' Tower
tower will have my Daughter's hand in marriage. Any questions?"

A ham like fist slammed the table.

"Aye, and that will be me!" A huge, lightly armoured warrior said, hefting his broad axe.

"Nay." A polite voice came from a white suit of armour. "It shall be me."

Bravis the white knight looked over his shoulder, expecting his rival Corvus the Black Knight to have something to say, but he was already gone.
The guests were all surprised and searched around for any sign of him. The king rubbed his beard.

"It looks like Corvus has already set out for her before you could prepare. I'm not sure if that's dishonourable or incredibly forward thinking. Either way you had best depart."

Someone started to protest, but they could not get the words out, as as a parade of knights frantically leapt to their feet and ran out of the feast hall as fast as possible, their armour clanking through the banquets hall. There were so many assembled that the hall and doorways were blocked with knights trying to push through.

The king sighed.

"One at a time please! Did you not learn anything about chivalry?"

"But Corvus did not wait for us!" A knight yelled. "It is not fair to start a contest before it is declared!"

The king's cheeks reddened.

"A true knight finds the proper line between Chivalry and efficiency!"

The knights slowed down in some pretence of politeness, letting the knight immediately in front walk past, before making a mad dash for the newly available space.

The king sighed again.

The knights who escaped the castle called for their squires to fetch their horses, urging them to hurry along. The knights scrambled to their horses, hastily mounting and setting off, the departing knights looking more like they were in a horse race than embarking on a noble quest.

Corvus laughed to himself, sure his cunning had put him far ahead of the other competitors. He knew he was near the tower. However he heard his horse's shoes clamp as they came out of place and his horse limped. He realised he would have to get it changed soon, though fortunately there was an inn with a set of stables nearby.

He hastily rode to the stables and caught the attention of the attending stable boy.

"Stable-boy, I need my horse reshoed, post haste." He shoved several gold coins into the boy's palm.

"Why the urgency sir?" the boy pocketed the coins and got to work.

Corvus dismounted..

"Not that its any of your business, but there is a tower up ahead with a fair damsel. The one who rescues her first shall win her hand in marriage, and that shall be me!"

"Wow, really sir?"

"Yes." The knight stuck out his chest. "So when we next meet, you may refer to me as Prince Corvus, assuming I am not King by then."

The lad continued fastening the shoe.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. Are you nearly finished?"

"Almost, I just need to check one thing..."

He quickly leapt onto the horse, as though inspecting it and whispered something in its ear. Then before the Knight could do anything, the boy gave the horse a jab and rode away!

Corvus gave chase, but could not match the speed of a horse.

"Come back with my horse!"

The boy laughed, getting further away with each second.

"It's not your horse any more sir, is it?"

Corvus growled and drew his sword.

"When I catch up to you I'll-"

"You'll bow before your new prince!" The boy laughed again.

It is difficult to control a stolen horse, even for one who's livelihood centered around the beasts, but the boy managed to stay on, until he reached the tower.

He looked around. There didn't seem to be any guards. The immense double doors where bolted shut, but checking behind some shrubbery he noticed a hole large enough to crawl through. The inside of the tower was lavishly decorated. He took a few seconds to admire it, before remembering the possible danger. He carefully sneaked through the palace, climbing up the stairs quickly and cautiously. The master bedroom had been left ajar, and he could see a beautiful young woman.

He ran to her and knelt before her, holding out his hand gallantly.

"Princess I have come to rescue you!"

He imagined the Princess swooning before him, expecting her to declare her love and gratitude to him, but instead she looked quite unimpressed.

"Another one already? I must say, you are scrawnier than most of the others."

She did not take his hand, folding her arms instead. The boy's mouth opened.

"Huh?"

Before he could think of anything clever to say, footsteps came from behind. Whirling around, he found himself face to with an imposing, dark haired figure, wearing a malevolent scowl. In her hands were two orbs of glowing green fire. He shielded the Princess.

"Princess look out! It's the evil Sorceress!

"Didn't you read the sign?" She snarled. "NO. KNIGHTS. ALLOW!"

He tugged at the princess's hand.

"Princess we have to run!"

The Princess sighed, showing little interest in escape. She wasn't even looking at the Stable-boy, instead her eyes were on the Sorceress.

"They never read the sign."

Suddenly a loud thumping resounded through the tower, the sound of several mailed fists beating against the door.

The sorceress growled.

"They're here again."

The stable-boy tugged the Princesses hand again.

"Princess now! We have to escape the evil sorceress!"

The Sorceress snarled, the flames in her hand growing larger.

"Stop calling my love evil!" The Princess yelled, glaring at him.

The boy let go, staring back.

"L-love?"

The Princess gave a heavy sigh.

"They never understand. Just like father."

The Sorceress stepped closer.

"Shall I-"

The boy stepped back fearfully.

"No need to be rough, just get him out of the tower." The princess said.

"Very well."

The sorceress gestured.

The boy opened his mouth to speak, but now found himself outside. A large crowd of knights were piled up in front of the door, jostling for position as they tried to force the door open, many denting their weapons against the great door.

The Sorceress glared down from the window.

"DO YOU KNIGHTS NOT READ?!"

A magical arrow appeared, pointing to a sign thumped into the ground. One peered over and read it aloud.

"No knights, salesmen or Jehovah Witnesses."

A shimmering magical barrier rose up around the tower, pushing the crowd of knights back. Many struck it, only to be flung away. After many more attempts against the barrier, they realised the futility of their actions.

"Her defences are impenetrable! We'll never rescue the Princess!" One of the knights said.

A silence filled the air as they looked at each other.

"So what do we do now?" Another knight asked.

After a few more moments of silence, one spoke up.

"I hear there's a king in the north whose daughter is missing."

Immediately the knights began shoving each other, trying to get to their horses as quickly as possible, before they all galloped away to the north.

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