Dear Me~From Me

Dear Me,

October is now over and with it comes in November, which brings with it a bustle of activity. I am writing this as a letter to myself because I feel that I need to let myself know that there are things I need and want to do this month and maybe this will inspire me!

First off, it is time to go ahead and start setting back the kids Christmas money and buying their stocking stuffers. I do not want to be last minute shopping at any time for anything! I have it pretty easy actually, each of my 3 kids just wants $100 each and then I always make them up a basket of things like shampoos, conditioners, hair stuff, socks little things like that and a few fun things in there to. So I want to get started on that NOW.

Second, I need to fight these demons that I battle in my head everyday, I need to be stronger. I can't let them keep knocking me down and keeping me down all month to where I have been ending up cancelling doctor appointments and therapy, I don't want fix my hair or do my make up, I do not want to cook. I will clean as I can, only because I have OCD and I stay at home all the time, even going to the grocery one time a month is total panic and fear. I am hoping that this month I can stay on top of my medications and be more responsible and that I can make this a happier and less depressed month for me. I need to learn to not let my mental and physical health control me, I need to be in control of MY LIFE!~

Third, I think that I need to set weekly goals, maybe even daily as well. Even if it is something as simple as go to a appointment, cook dinner, and fold laundry. Then when I accomplish them I will feel like I am improving myself! Because I am!

Also, I need to become more into the spirit of the upcoming holidays. They usually depress me and I get down but I am really going to work hard at trying to find something positive in each day.

I know this isn't considered a poem, and probably not a story either, but it is a story to me...it's my story!

I plan on making November a month where perhaps I can start some new family traditions, start working more on my books and most of all starting to work more on myself!

Please remember me, that you have a strength that is inside you, you just have to find it and USE it! You know what type of person you are and you know what type of person the demons make you act. Take control Jen, if you don't, then how will your dreams ever come true.....

Held up up and don't let the ones that judge get you down. Be the bigger and better person. Get your ass started on these books that you have been in the works of doing for over 12 years now! Get things going! Get it together JEN! Snap out of this darkness that has a hold on you and show it that you want to take over your life!

You can do this!

Love always,
Yourself