Just A Random Thing

Today is the first day of my new life as a writer. Yesterday was as well, and tomorrow looks good for it too.

I've been saying for years that i wanted to be a writer. Most of my life, actually. But the days that I have professed to want to write, and the days that I have actually stopped whatever i was doing and actually written are numbers so vastly different as to have almost no relation. I am a writer who talks about writer, not a writer that actually writes. therefore, i am a hypocrite.

and i'm trying to reduce hypocrisy in my life these days. so each new day i wake up, and i get to choose what i want to be that day. there are some things i have already chosen, like mom, wife, woman, human, etc. for those things, i get to choose what kind of mom, wife, woman, human, etc, i will be for the day. i can be the devoted mom, the angry, wife, the funny old woman with the cane and the saggy socks, the enlightened and evolving human, or a thousand times a thousand other adjective combinations i may decide.

but when necessity has been fulfilled, and i am freed by my social constraints to doff my own mental crown, then the fun begins. because i can be literally anything that my imagination and body will allow. i could be a ballerina for the day, if my legs weren't made of glue sticks and chewed up toothpicks. i could be a singer, serenading whoever has the misfortune to be within earshot of my moment of inspiration. i can be a treasure hunter, prowling the thrift stores with a deft eye for potential. I could even be...a writer...one who actually writes.

so today, i choose to be a writer. i choose to sit here at my keyboard, taping away until either it's time to go to bed or i get a better idea. i will not spend the time surfing the web for online writing courses that are too expensive anyway and probably wouldn't teach me a single thing at this point in my development anyway. i will not spend the time researching and listing books that i will never buy that i think will help me on my writing journey. i will not pretend to be looking over the notes for the book idea i got three years ago while i am, in fact, playing solitaire or internet backgammon. and i will definitely not stare off into space for an hour, daydreaming about nothing in particular, and try to convince those around me that i am seriously meditating on an idea. so what i write will not be good. it will not be useful. it will not be important. but it will be written. and i'll be a little less of a hypocrite. at least for one day.