Vampires Anonymous

“Hello, my name’s Gregorovich. People call me Greg.”
“Hi Greg,” their voices sound in unison, a choir worse than death that echoes through my under-stimulated brain; my own personal Hell.
“Hello,” he says again, an air of monotony in his tone, “I am a dental hygienist, on year 548 out of a 600 year sentence, finally on my way out of here. I joined this group 200 years ago today, and I couldn’t be so sure of the ultimate decision I face in 52 years without it.”
Following his monologue is the incessant clapping as he regains his seat, suppressing a sigh I clap along. Oh Gregorovich, one of my longest standing patrons. I vaguely wonder if he truly believes he’ll be free of this mess in 52 or if the facade was for the newer faces in the crowd; one of the latter rises to speak.
“Hello,” her voice lacks the monotony of 200 years of torture, rather it shakes with the nerves of new blood, “My name is Jennifer.”
“Hi Jennifer,” the chorus of torment, the bane of my existence.
“I… I don’t know what I am now,” here come the tears, “I was a lawyer before….” Her voice trailed off and as sure as the day is long tears spilled down her cheeks, coming to rest in darkened spots of betrayal on her blouse. With a tremble she continued, “I was only recently sentenced to 100 years, I’ve served 38 days, I don’t know where to begin…” Her voice left her for a second time, standing rooted to the spot, consumed with fear and grief. As the leader of this group, this is where I’m meant to give my two cents, a kind word or two, but for a pretty girl with only 100 years to serve, I can’t conjure a shred of sympathy.
A fleeting moment of eye contact with Alexia and she’s on her feet moving toward the sobbing mess standing on the outskirts of my collected circle. Through muffled reassurances the heaves lessen and the women break apart. To my amusement, Alexia hovers awkwardly in wait of another episode.
“I found out about this group online, and I could hardly believe it was real, I can hardly believe it’s happening to me at all,” I grip the arms of my seat, expecting another outburst, but her composure is maintained as she continues, “When I reached my judgement I was sure I would be given the golden approval, I couldn’t think of anything I had done to deserve… This. I’d followed all the rules of my religion, with a few minor exceptions, but I can’t see that being the reason… I guess he really does just hate lawyers.” Everyone laughed at the lame attempt at a joke we had all heard a thousand times by others who had come in and out of the program. Call it a polite override.
As the forced laughter subsided and the new girl shared a weak smile with Alexia I stood and thanked the room for their participation, announcing that our meeting would be held in the same location in three days. Weekly just wasn’t enough for some of the harder offenders.
In unison the twenty or so individuals stood and readjusted their clothing or grabbed their subsequent belongings. Alexia beelined for me as I raised my fingers to my temples.
“How long has it been Jay?”
“Six hours.”
“So it’s getting worse.”
“Don’t judge me Alex, how long has it been for you?”
“Two days,” her chest puffed proudly.
My eyes shone, I was genuinely impressed. The longest I’d known any of our kind to function without our dearest sanguine substance was 26 hours.
“Well then, you’re on your way to the golden gates, aren’t you, oh princess of the light?”
With a playful shove she smiled and exited the room, leaving me to my own thoughts, an even worser fate than listening to these grueling monsters for two hours.
I gathered the evidence of our appearance and left the room, arms laden with our crimson cocktail.
As I reached my car I stowed the unopened or otherwise sealed bags in my trunk and covered them with the remainder of my belongings.
Opening the driver's door I reveled at the daunting task before me, I was too weak for this. The steering wheel loomed in front of me as if angrily daring me to take hold in my unaltered state. I slammed the door.
The Rec Center where the meetings are held bi-weekly sits in the middle of downtown, the perfect area to find an unsuspecting victim just out of sight in a back alley, so stroll I did. I knew all the best spots and in minutes stood vacantly in front of a young emaciated man with a needle still protruding from his vein. I kneeled beside him, disgusted by his appearance, but otherwise undeterred as I finished the injection on his behalf, knowing the drugs would only work for me after they’d been introduced to his consistently pumping bloodstream.
The syringe was clean of every last drop before I slowly removed the needle and lapped at the open wound. The smallest pinprick of blood was enough, my tiny implements of sacrifice were unsheathed and at work. As they procured the sweetest of nectars the euphoria hit me like a preliminary glimpse at the ultimate goal. The world rippled in my vision, I imagined diving in, entering the darkness. Leaving the known and venturing through the ether. Before my leap could be completed the stranger I’d just saved from an overdose began to stir. Still too far gone to pull him to his feet I reached into my pocket and phoned 911, provided his location and description and left the junkie with a new lease on life. I knew where he had gone, what he had seen, he would either turn his life around or end up in my V.A. group after too long. Part of me hoped I’d never see him again, the junkie inside me begged him to relapse.
I stumbled away from the writhing heap he’d succumbed to after his discussion with the big man, and with a bird flipped to the heavens I managed to reopen my car door. The steering wheel greeted me with a grin and I rewarded it with the embrace of my trembling fingers. Adrenaline pumping, I raced home to enjoy the end of my high, longing to take that leap into the abyss.
By the time I pulled into my drive, however, I was on my way down. Chasing the dragon never lasted as long as I’d like. Humans didn’t know how good they had it the first time around.
The sprawling mansion I called home welcomed me kindly through the massive double oak doors. Unlike most of the others of my kind I’d began saving and investing the moment I was sentenced, and resentenced, time and time again. Here, over two thousand years later, I lived the kush life of a millionaire, living well on blood money.
Entering my abode and glancing out among all my belongings did nothing but remind me of my never ceasing existence. Humankind has it all wrong, I tried to tell them all those years ago, but nobody wanted to listen to me, they’ve had it backwards ever since. Nothing bought in life is worth the cost of death. I’d give every cent of my millions, every shred of my belongings, every drug I’d ever done if it meant I’d, in turn, be given the opportunity to die.
Death, sweet death, the harmony we all sing in turn. A fate worse than death is what we are, who we are. Every night in “sleep”, if it can be called such, we relive our most undignified moment. Without fail, any nap, brief moment of rest, attempt to sleep next to someone and feel relatively normal, is haunted by the memory of the moment you were sentenced. As if we needed reminding; drugs help, but the good ones were hard to come by.
I positioned myself on my back in the middle of my mattress, ready to revile myself as I had done at least a million times before, I had it worse than most, being that I’d been around so long my memory was more of an interactive remembrance. As expected the room swirled in black only to reassemble seconds later in blazing color and detail… And there I was… And there He waited.
I rolled my eyes and sighed, “Hello… Dad.”
His booming voice filled my ears, my ever aching temples throbbing with every resounding syllable.
“Welcome back son, I see you met Jennifer today. She really was a sweet one…”
He trailed off, feigning a regret I knew he did not feel.
“Can we not talk about work?” I sighed again, knowing the answer to this inquiry could never be a simple ‘yes.’
“I talked to your other friend today too, his name was Coty, did you know that?”
I shrugged.
“Think I scared him off for good. You know, we’d make a good team you and I, if you could just kick your silly habit.”
“It’s not a silly habit! It’s the only way to cope with the eternal misery you’ve put me through.”
“You know, all kids say that to their parents, I see it every day.”
“Oh yeah? Have those kids lived for two thousand years in the shadow of their father?”
“Maybe.”
“Shut up. I saved his life didn’t I?”
“Was that before or after you killed him?”
“Would he have learned if I hadn’t stepped in?”
He thought for a moment, “No, I suppose you’re right, but it doesn’t make it right to kill people.”
“You’re the one who charged us with the constant task of human sacrifice! You know, most people prefer to keep their blood inside their bodies, not in someone else’s mouth.”
“Since the beginning of time blood sacrifices have been necessary to the continuation of peace, you know this son. Some things simply must be done. Do you think plagues, wars, drought, and famine are fun things to put humans through? Do you think I like watching my creation live miserably? No, but in order to give free will to all, there must be sacrifices.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard this speech a thousand times,” I adorned my most mocking tone and continued in a booming drawl, “Do you think I wanted to make it rain for forty days and forty nights? Do you think I wanted to watch my only son die on the cross? You know, that really fucking hurt by the way.”
“Sacrifices,” he stated simply and smiled.
I scowled.
“Maybe if you hadn’t been such a show off, they wouldn’t have killed you.”
“Right, the son of God, I’m the show off. When was your last natural disaster dad?”
“Oh there was this beautiful hurricane last week, probably my best work ever. Poor name though, never cared for the name Katrina.”
“Let me guess… Sacrifices?”
` “Now you’re getting it son! There may just be hope for you yet! But really, all those pranks you played on those people, I’d have killed you too. Especially after the whole ‘Drink my blood and eat my body’’ thing. You know I got my punishment idea from you. Before it was just a goat here and there, maybe the heart of a princess, but no, your little practical joke that earned you your sentence may have been my best idea yet.”
“That was two thousand years ago! Get over it, let me come back home, I’m sick of these people.”
“Should have thought of that before you offered cannibalism for breakfast son.”
“God, you suck.”
“Christ, you’re annoying.”
“Real fuckin’ funny. Did you hear that Alexia’s gone two days without bloodletting?”
“Yes, congratulate her for me if you will, she’ll be up here with me soon enough.”
“The only one I like, of course.”
“Oh I’ve seen you with plenty of females.”
“First of all, that’s weird, stop watching me, and second, that doesn’t mean I like them.”
Glaring down at me with a cross expression, he spoke in a stern fatherly manner, “You wonder why I don’t let you back in. Clean up your act kid.”
“I’m working on it, saving the world, one junkie at a time. That’s got to be worth something, right?”
“So, you’re telling me you’re not doing this for selfish purposes? The drugs have nothing to do with it?”
“Well…”
“Don’t lie to me son, I’ll add another seven years to your sentence if you do.”
“Right, how’s uncle Lucifer doing?”
“Prefers to go by Lucy now, actually. She’s doing well, closer to getting back up here than you are at this point.”
I felt no surprise at ‘Lucy’s’ new found gender, he always seemed a bit off to me.
“Good talk dad, can I go now? I’ve got sacrifices to make and things, you know, people to save, bloodletters to coach and what not.”
“Sure son, try not to cause any trouble, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yupp…” I mumbled under my breath, “And every night after that for eternity.”

I awoke in my bed, less rested than I had been when I closed my eyes. The moonlight crept in through the curtains. That asshole didn’t even flash me forward to waking hours. This was how our chats usually went, he would remind me again and again that the mistakes I made led me to this, to take responsibility and all that garbage (he’s never taken responsibility for anything, always using the ‘free will’ excuse) then he sends me back in the middle of the damn night to roam the streets alone. I need a girlfriend, or maybe a dog…
As I sat up I groaned and rubbed my jaw, feeling the stubble scratching against my palms. I needed to shave again, if I let the beard grow out I’d risk being recognized. Made that mistake once, never again. Everywhere I went people were screaming out that it was the second coming of Jesus. I never left, you idiots, not like I had a choice.
I shuffled to the bathroom, drained and fiending. Gone were the days that blood was so easy to come by, oh how I missed when doctors believed the best way to cure an ailment was to fill you up with morphine and cocaine then remove your tainted blood. It was a free market then, but no, dad had to step in and provide epiphanies and modern medicine. He said it was cheating if we found our blood that way instead of slaving after it like we do now.
“Sacrifices,” I mumbled under my breath as I looked in the mirror. “I could probably use a hair cut too,” I said aloud, running my fingers through the brown mop protruding from my scalp.
With a satisfying buzz my razor sprang to life and I began the arduous process of removing my last sense of self. As the hair fell to the counter I pondered my plans for the evening, though I knew where I would end up. Through the years I’d kept track of several of the biggest hubs in the city and tonight I planned to stake out the most frequented of the lot. The more they bought, the more I enjoyed.
I swept up my mess and glanced at the clock, one in the morning was a great time to get my fix. Turning my attention toward the key rings hanging on the wall I wondered absently what vehicle to take, settling on the matte black Bugatti I headed toward the door to the garage.
Sliding into the slick leather I positioned myself comfortably and peeled out of the driveway. I silently dared the police to try to catch me in this ride. I’d kill, figuratively this time, for that kind of adrenaline rush.
Making the twenty minute drive in seven minutes flat I turned off the headlights and pulled slowly into an alley across from the house I had my eye on. Within minutes the first customer was making his way to the doorstep, one hand holding his arm at the crook of the elbow and the other nervously pushing his hair behind his ear. Jackpot. He was a man I knew well. A solid regular. It was possible that this could be the time I saved him… I’d be happy to give it a shot if he bought enough. With a specified knock on the sturdy metal door he was greeted with a cacophony of grinding metal as the locks were quickly unlatched. Had I not been looking for it, I would not have even noticed the exchange take place, both of these men were experts at keeping their activities hidden, not well enough to keep it from me.
The regular slinked into the shadows, I left the comfort of my car, locking it silently behind me. Following at a close distance I spotted him turn a corner. I knew where he was headed and I knew I could beat him there, but that was not the game here. I would let him enjoy a few moments of bliss before the agony that would be his awakening.
I continued at a steady pace, making every turn only moments after his coat tails had passed. One of the advantages of being a dead man walking was the lack of noise that emerged from your steps. It took all the self control I had not to sprint after him and inject it myself but, like the saint I am, I kept my distance and watched from afar as he opened another heavy metal door that broke up the mile of brick we had just meandered past.
Checking my watch several times I allowed him enough time to prepare himself and enjoy for just the most fleeting of moments before I casually reached for the handle of the door. He neither flinched nor batted an eye as I moved nearer to him, I almost feared he’d already done the deed himself until I noticed his shallow rasping breaths. Like the last man I’d “assisted” he had not finished the syringe that he’d left in his vein. Pushing the rest in I listened carefully for the breathing to slow. When it was hardly noticeable I allowed myself the first taste of my sweet poison. Instant gratification coursed through me and I backed out of the dingy room, knowing the man to be in decent hands at this point. Chances were I’d be seeing him again in the next few weeks at our meetings. No way would he get a second chance, my father isn’t nearly that forgiving.
Sporting a grin I skipped merrily back to my Bugatti which lay in wait exactly how I’d left it in the cover of the night. I needed to drive. I sped out from the alley, tires squealing, terrifying the dealer I knew stood just behind the nearest door. As I raced away I noticed the door moving a fraction of an inch and the head of a woman poke out for just an instant. I was floored, I had never actually encountered the provider in all the waking moments I had spent with my eyes fixated on that entrance. My mind had always been too filled with desire to notice the delicate hand that made the exchange.
I slammed on the brakes not a second too soon, in my altered state of mind, dazed by sudden confusion I neglected to notice my surroundings and found myself barreling into a busy intersection. It’s not like I could die, but I had a fairly good feeling that if I were to kill an innocent bystander I’d have a handful of years tacked onto my sentence.
I breathed in deeply and ran my hand over the dash, apologizing to my baby for my carelessness. The light changed and again I was speeding away, ready to get as much distance between myself and the mysterious woman behind the iron curtain I’d left behind. I’d been told before that nothing can kill curiosity, but distance was the best medicine to quell my thoughts for the time. I was on cloud nine, and I wanted to stay there. Alone.