Dad, I'm Tired

Dad, I’m tired.
Tired of pretending that I’m not dying on the inside.
Tired of acting like everything’s okay, when it’s not.
Tired of listening to your lies and blindly accepting them.
So, dad, I’m tired.
Tired of the ache your broken promises leave inside of me.
Tired of hearing you build me up, only to tear me down again.
Tired of hiding behind kindness that has hidden away my pain for so long.
Dad, I’m so tired.
Tired of calling and never knowing which version I’ll get.
Tired of being too embarrassed to bring anyone over to meet you.
Tired of always apologizing for your words and your actions.
Dad, I’m very tired.
Tired of letting you yell and scream hate at me late at night.
Tired of hearing your empty apologies early the next morning.
Tired of the stench of beer and whiskey polluting the air around you.
But, dad, I’m tired.
Tired of trying to appease and reason with you, only to be accused.
Tired being thanked and praised by a man who puts-down and criticizes me in the same sentence.
Tired of being foolish enough to put faith in someone who’s let me down time and time again.
Because, dad,
I’m just so sick and tired…
Of being tired.