Beyond the mask

It was all I knew. All I had ever cared for.
How did I get to this? how did I do this? to her...the only one left..
I guess she was, but not any more. I can feel guilt eat up my conscience. The world looks like a scary place now..I can't talk. I don't trust anyone any more. Everywhere I go seems too awkward,too suspicious. I turn around, and all I see is their faces. They are following me everywhere I go, they'll never let me live in peace. Not now, not ever.
It's funny how life can turn around...I spent 15 years in their offices, jumping off planes to rescue millions of people for them. Good Lord! I even put my life on the line rescuing their Intel in Russia. Little precious Intel! I was briefed about my mission that day, it was just the drill: get in, grab the chip, get out. "Nobody gets hurt". I can still recall James' voice happily touring in my mind. That day he had been quiet, way too quiet. His glossy blonde hair was not it's usual glorious form. When he came to the office, I could have sworn he was one of the ugly green ghosts I had seen the night before in ghost busters. He looked like he had just killed someone. His face pale, hands shaking, and eyes darting ringed all my nerves of terror. I couldn't stop myself from spilling the hot coffee in my humongous "I love Africa" mug. My hands traitorously turned red in spite of my majestic attempts to act as the tough steel agent working in their buildings. I remember blushing in shame as I tried to hide my red hot hand, and quickly opening the door to his office. Faking a smile, we greeted each other as we did every morning with headlines on the new missions.
He was my boss, I was always forced to talk about dumb missions with him everyday. To me, it was all the same. The CIA was mission here, mission there. Nothing really out of the ordinary like aliens or Bin Laden. But something convinced me that that day was going to be a whole new thing. It wasn't long till I felt my adrenaline rise up as I set my eyes on the screen.
Holy mother of God! what was that thing?