Is it a Dream or Memory

(w/c: 567)

My fevered brain is playing tricks on me again as my flailing arms and legs get tangled in the sheets. I look around my bedroom taking comfort that everything is in its proper place. My heart slows to a normal rhythm. Wiping the clammy sweat from my brow, I sit up taking a deep breath. Come now old girl, it was just a dream your tired brain conjured up.

Walking through the 3 a.m. darkness of my apartment, I feel for the familiar texture of the leather love-seat that marks the corner of the wall is near. My tongue is gritty. Water is what I need. There is a cup of water in the refrigerator. I remembered to fill it up before going to bed. My fingers run along the wall feeling for the light switch. Flipping it up I'm confused, the light didn't come on. I search in the darkness for the refrigerator door. There will be plenty of light when I open the refrigerator. My hand grasps the cool handle, pulling it toward me the light from within pushes the shadows back. I retrieve my reward. Cold water washes over my parched tongue, soothing my scorching throat.

"You know that cold water you think you're drinking is an illusion," he whispers from behind me.

Turning around, there is no one there. I finish my cup of water and return to my bedroom. I turn on the light just to be sure I am truly alone. I straighten the sheets and fluff my pillow. Just to put my addled brain's fear to rest, I looked under the bed. Nope, nothing there, but I discovered odd restraints attached to the bed frame. "Now where did those come from?" I ask myself. Feeling dizzy, forgetting about the restraints, I crawl into bed.

I returned to the dream that I'm the hospital. I'm distraught over the death of my best friend. She was killed in front of me by a semi-truck that didn't make the corner he was turning. He breached the sidewalk crushing my friend under the right front tire of his truck.

I awaken again from this recurring nightmare and discover it isn't ending. I am restrained in a bed at the hospital. The leather cuffs secure my feet to the bed. A large leather belt is buckled down holding me to the mattress. A male nurse comes out of the room's small bathroom.

"Are you thirsty?" He asks holding a cup of clear liquid before me.

"Yes, but what you put in it?" I ask.

"It's just water," he replies, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Why am I here? Why am I restrained?"

"You are here for a psych evaluation. You've displayed you're a danger to yourself and to others." He replies all the while bringing the water cup with a straw in it closer to my mouth.

"How am I a danger?"

"The story the truck driver told the police you pushed your friend into the path of his truck. He had no time to stop the rig. She was killed instantly. You were babbling at the scene that an angel told you to push your friend into the truck's path. It took three police officers to hold you down until the E.R. doctor could get you sedated. Now be a good girl and drink your water. You need your rest."