Weighing the Consequences

Sitting here with a gun in my hand, coming up with a master plan.
I've got this check. It wasn't written to me. But I fixed that pretty easily.
I'll cash it at a store, not a bank. So it's just fraud in the state, not a federal offense.
The feds impose years. The state has no mandatory minimum sentence.
I need a ride, and yours will do fine. I’ve got three DUIs, so the city’s got mine.
I could find an open garage, with car keys hanging on a hook just inside.
It’s really not hard to jack a ride.
I mean, it might be easier to borrow a car from a bro, and just not bring it back.
That’s embezzlement though.
That’s not as bad, right, as stealing a stranger’s SUV?
But both carry up to 18 months jail; they’re both felonies, fourth degree.
Although, I’ve got a prior conviction for auto theft, for the stolen car where I got caught.
They add a year and a half for a second offense. I better give this a little more thought.
I’ll just take a bike that’s not chained up from a neighbor’s backyard or outside a shop.
If they can’t prove I took it, they can still charge a crime;
but possession of stolen property is worth a third of the time.
Then again, if it’s a really pimped-up bike, the value would make it a higher degree–
a forth, or a third even. I guess we’ll just see.
Just a quick fix before I set off. If I get caught with drugs on me, it’s one more felony.
I’ll leave the pipe and lighter at home. Having them is misdemeanor, one I don't need.
So armed? Or not armed? That is the question. Using a gun in a crime adds a year.
And after the first, it gets even worse. Add three years for each subsequent use here.
My lawyer once told me that I'm "bitchable." Habitual offenders get time added on.
Someone files a "bitch," a habitual offender enhancement, and under the HOE,
for years I'll be gone.
Maybe I shouldn't commit this crime after all. The lawmakers have certainly given me pause.
There's a chance I won't get caught. That's good enough for me. I am off to break the law.