Parents Shouldn't Blink

If you hear your children, in a mesmerized, whispered voice saying, "Wow, fire!" Run to them, it is probably not Scooby Doo and his pals sitting around a campfire.

Just because you are wearing a cape, does not mean that you can fly; especially if said cape is caught in the door at the top of the steps that your child is about to leap from.

A toy weed whacker is not an effective hair cutting tool, especially if your sister's hair is down to her waist.

Flaming dish towels do not make good pot holders.

Beads, peas, or other small objects do not belong in the nose.

You should never, ever put anything in your ear, expecting to be able to pull it out of your mouth, or any other orifice.

Keys do not effectively start an electrical socket, or a car after being melted in an electrical socket.

The head, or any other body part does not make an effective padding for falling weights equaling 70 pounds.

Never do a mid-air flip without the benefit of a trampoline beneath you.

At low speeds, when learning to drive, other vehicles do make for an effective braking system.

Oops does not magically reattach the hair that you just cut from your two year old sister's head.

When your 17 year old punches the frame of his oak bed ... twice, it is not going to end well.

If you tell your parents it is their lucky day, and then tape your mouth shut, it gives them ideas.

*Don't blink, you might miss the opportunity to narrowly avert disaster, or at least the chance to laugh your belly sore!