Hunting for Answers

Forelogue

What follows is a rant of sorts. The intention is to express some of the emotional frustration that many of us, who oppose hunting for sport and entertainment, feel about the practice. A lot of naturalists, environmentalists and the like, can and do enjoy nature and its abundance of wonders, without the need to kill something in the process.

Regardless of how little impact we might judge our actions to have on the world, such decisions -- in the normal course of events -- are not always ours to make. And we possess no real authority for acting upon them.

It is to this end that the following, impassioned argument is offered.

Hunting for Answers

Please keep in mind that this diatribe only applies to sport hunting. Killing for food, out of hunger and a need to eat, is exempted. However, just because you eat what you kill does not excuse the act. You better be freakin' starving.

I'd ask one of these weekend hunters if the animals they kill belong to them personally. Can they prove ownership? The obvious answer is no, they can't. Oh, the Bible says the animals are here for us to enjoy? Yeah? Well, you damn fool, no religion based on love and kindness should ever be used to justify killing. Especially if that's your sole source of authority. That said, if something doesn't belong to you, how the hell can you do with it as you please? What are you, insane?

If that fish on the end of your line is tugging and pulling to free itself, did it ever occur to your pea-sized brain that maybe it's in pain and doesn't want your lousy hook in its mouth? Let me jam a metal hook into your cheek and see how much you like it. Yeah, it's real trigonometry to figure this stuff out, isn't it?

Is there anything in the entire natural world that belongs to you? Show me the bill of sale, moron. Trees? They're your personal property, are they? The earth, the ground, the rocks. Got your name on them, do they? The birds in the trees, the ducks on that lake. All of them are yours to kill, and probably maim in the process, is that it? We just want to be clear on where the heck you're particular imbecility is coming from.

Now sit your dumb ass down, shut the hell up and listen; you might learn something. If you're living on a planet where virtually nothing is your personal property, and you can't claim ownership of hardly anything, then you're nothing more than a friggin' guest in the home of somebody else -- don't you think? Just because the landlord's not around, doesn't mean you can raid the refrigerator, make a pigsty out of the place, kill all the pets hanging around, and otherwise take a crap on the dining room table.

Using your retarded logic, everyone else is then entitled to consider your stuff as their stuff, right? Or that your tree is as much their tree as it is yours. Or that fish. Or that mouse. Or that beetle. Hey, genius, maybe things belong to everyone equally when everybody is a guest in the same house.

Where does the permission come from, to harm or make worse, anything living that can't give its consent? Think it over, jerk, and then get back to me.

And if you don't want to play the guest game, as most don't, then the consequence of that is finding yourself to be just another fish in someone else's pond. Oh, then you want to play by guest rules, right, idiot? How dare someone treat you the same as a bear or a deer? Hey, it your rules, remember? Why not? Because you're so damn special?

Next time you're out and about, try taking a look around. See those snow-covered mountains? They're not your personal playground, you half-wit. To do with as you please. Nor are the animals who live there, numbskull, your private property. You don't kill something just because you can. You save the life of something that would otherwise die or suffer -- because you can. Now get your simpleton ass out of here -- and try at least to do no harm.

Got it? I didn't think so.