Twisted Wonderland

Alice awoke in the darkness. The scream lying heavy on the back of her tongue swallowed at the sound of her husbands breathing. She sighed instead and slipped from the heavy covers. Her dark hair drenched in sweat, a twisted bundle of curls. Her dreams used to be so full of laughter and color.. Now all that awaits is her nightmares. The darkness and her twisted version of wonderland. Sighing, Alice eased her body from bed, careful not to wake the one sleeping soundly beside her. The silk blood red fabric teased her mid thighs as she paused by the crib of her youngest. He lay sleeping, his long lashed eyes fluttering and his perfect cupids bow mouth forming a smile. She felt her own smile form.

Alice left the room wearing only her crimson nightie she chose to sleep in that night. The house was heavy with sleep and stillness. She drank from the open water bottle in the fridge, finally able to swallow the scream fully. Alice left the kitchen and headed for the front door. She turned the locks and slipped out into the darkness. After a few flicks of the lighter, she was able to light the cigarette. Blowing out blue/grey smoke toward the ceiling she closed her eyes.

Why must it always be the tormented thoughts that chase her in dreams. His smile.. his fingers as they made their way lazily along her skin. Then the emptiness of not knowing why he turned away when she threw out everything she knew for him. Damned, forever damned to want. She opened her eyes and hoped by shaking her head she could shake the very image of him from her mind. Alice naturally knew better. She would never rid herself of him. Not while they both breathed.

The chill of night made its way twisting around her ankles and curling up her legs. Her pale skin seemed to glow in the darkness. A beacon of light in the waves of darkness. She drew from the cigarette again and tried her hardest to settle her thoughts.

"Ever the practical Alice."
The voice was heavy as whipped cream and twice as sweet.
"Go away Chess." Alice mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. The soft brush of fur against her calves made Alice look down, knowing she wouldn't see him.
"Why don't you give into the madness and free us all Alice?" Chess's voice hissed into her ear. Alice slumped her shoulders, something she only did when alone so no one would know how deeply insecure she truly was.

"Is the hatter here as well, or is it just you sent to torture me?" Alice asked the night air. Her eyes scanned the darkness hoping to make out the shape of the silly cat with a twisted smile. She found him in the ever growing maple beside her porch. His tail swishing back and forth. The moonlight making the blue of his fur pulsate and seem more alive than he was.

"Hatter.. why would he follow?" Chess asked, almost to himself. Alice rose and walked bare foot to the tree. The moonlight licking at her skin. Chess watched her with impossibly big green eyes. Alice lifted her face to the foolish cat, narrowing her eyes. The edge of which must have amused the cat as he laughed crazed like.
"Oh Alice, how charming you are when you are angry. With looks so sharp I can taste the blood from those daggers you're throwing my way. Tell me child, why are you awake? Why are you out here instead of inside cuddled into the man who's name you promised to take six years ago but have yet to change? Are you waiting to be rescued silly Alice? Did you think that some day you will find something more?" Alice turned away as each heavy word struck at her, an intended blow. She looked over her garden, the green stalks of her soon to be lilies playing in the moonlight.

"You haven't answered my question sweet stupid girl" Chess remarks in his sing song voice. Her ears ring with it. Straightening her shoulders Alice turns to the nothingness. A growl escapes her lips before she meant it to. The cat has vanished again. Leaving her to her own thoughts. The burnt out cigarette stung at her skin. She dropped it and wandered back to the deck. She sat heavily with a sigh. Lowering her head, the twist of curls flopped forward. She felt him before she could see or hear him. The heat from his skin as his hand slipped onto her knee.

"What, do you wish to torment me too Hatter?" Alice whimpered. His hand traveled up, tracing the ugly purple scars that lined her inner thighs. Ashamed, Alice closed her knees, trapping his hand mid thigh. His breath was light on her neck.
"Why is a raven like a writing desk Alice?" Honey thick, his voice made her heart beat faster. Alice's eyes fluttered shut as his lips closed over her quickening pulse. His fingers tucked a run away strand of hair behind her ear. He took his fingers and traced her jaw before lifting her face to look at him.

Always so handsome. Devilishly so. Dark and sexy. The tattered top hat upon his head and a twisted smile upon his lips. His eyes different every time. This time, a haunting blue.
"Alice, sweet Alice. Come back to me. Come meet me in dreams." He murmured brushing at her cheeks with pads of his thumbs. He leaned forward to take her mouth. His teeth scrapping against her bottom lip. A moan escaping them before she could stop it. She relaxed her legs and felt his smile as his hand traveled over the lines created by her own hand and a razor many years before. Hatter always did have a sick fascination with her scars. His lips moved down her neck to her collar bone.
"Come back to me Alice. If only for a moment. I promise, no other darkness shall enter this time."

"Only you." Alice moaned, knowing well enough she was giving into the madness by wanting him. This man of her minds own making. A cold chill against her calf made her eyes flash open. The glint of silver caught in the light. It would seem he brought his toys again.

"Not tonight." Alice says frankly and crosses her legs. She knows he is gone before she glances over. Nothing but the darkness here to seduce her already failing mind. Alice breathes deeply and awaits on the porch for the sun to whisk over the darkness. The streaks of color in the sky. Smiling with hollowed eyes, Alice quietly slips back into the house and her readied routine. Knowing very well she will have to go back to Wonderland soon. The pull to him is too great. For a moment she wonders what makes her more crazy. The fact she needs that twisted version of her own mind.. or that she longs for it.