Northern Education

Northern Education

The LGBT charity, Northern Rainbow, completed
construction of a secondary school in Liverpool, June 2015. It would
open with forty permanent places set for LGBT students. It was given
full backing by the government and its continued support. During its
construction there were signs and posters advertising its dedicated
support for young Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender students and
how the institution would offer “A safe learning environment
for all” and “Equal opportunities for all!”, as if
giving forty people a guaranteed place in a school just because they
don’t bat for the same team as you is an equal opportunity than
the child genius girl who wants to marry a boy when she’s
older. Those signs were quickly covered in swastikas, “FUCK
THE BENDERS!” and all sorts of graffiti. It was like the
people doing it were writing on them as the council worker was
putting them up. The worst thing that happened though was the day the
school opened. It was Monday 7^th September, the bell for
everyone to line up outside before assembly had just rang and petrol
bombs exploded. Seven 14-20 year olds had waited for all the students
to line up and be grouped together to make their attack. It should
have been harder for people to do something like this because police
were at both the entrances and all over the neighbourhood. Everyone,
including the staff, was frisked for weapons and mobiles before they
could go in, and the fences around the school site were more than
eight feet high. But they managed it. After the investigations had
finished the police said the attackers broke into someone’s
back garden that was right next to the fences and used the outdoor
table as a step to climb over. They had knives as well as the petrol
bombs. Four of them went off in the middle of everyone that had lined
up, two went through windows into classrooms and the last was
smothered by the school head teacher who saw it land in front of him,
right where the primary year’s students were lining up. In
total thirty people died, the head teacher, two police officers and
the rest were the students aged 5-16. Two were Jess and Cami. They’re
the ones I miss most. I’d met them in the queue to be searched
before you could go into the school. They were stood in front of me
when we lined up. I watched them burn to death. I’m still in
therapy for it now. Dr. Kathy said it would be good for me to write
about it because she liked my writing. I usually write about what
we’ve been up to or if I’ve been on a date but this time
Dr. Kathy gave me something specific to write about.

I’ll start from why I was there. I got
bullied a lot in school for being gay, I came out to my mum about it
when she noticed the bruises, even though she wasn’t really
that happy that I was gay, which I could tell because she never said
the word to me when we talked about it and she always asked about how
the boys that I knew were doing. She never said anything bad about it
though, I think she just really wanted to have grandchildren and
since she didn’t want to be with anyone since my Dad died I was
the only hope she had. So I was getting bullied for being gay and
even though you can go to jail for that shit the school kept it as an
internal thing and always managed to talk the police out of doing
something, and even though they could do all that, nothing ever
seemed to change about me getting bullied.

So my mum saw a new report about this new LGBT
friendly school being built and wanted me to move there from the word
go. I didn’t really like the idea of having to leave my friends
from the other school, but whenever I spoke up about it my mum would
mention the bruises and there was nothing I could say to counter it.
We had to go to interviews about starting at the school because my
Mum had ticked the box on the form to say I was gay. They promised
how everything would be different at the new school and no one would
bully me or tease me about being different. My grades dropped after
my mum got a letter saying I was guaranteed a place at the LGBT
School. They’d decided it was going to be named Dike
Comprehensive Academy: “The first comprehensive for all”,
or the “Bender building” by everyone else. I
couldn’t really concentrate after that news, the bullying got
to me more and near the end of the year it got a lot worse because
someone had told the whole school I was leaving after year nine to go
to Dike Academy. I didn’t go out over the summer, we didn’t
have enough money to go on holiday this year and I was too scared to
go out. In between Jeremy Kyle and Family Guy I read a lot. Mainly
classics like Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, Tennessee Williams and
T.S. Elliot. I like how they tell their stories and I like that they
prove gay people can be successful. It also proves how straight
people will always treat anyone different to them. Sorry that was
rude.

So the first day of school came, I’d set an
alarm but my mum came and woke me up earlier to wish me good luck
before she left for work. I took a hot shower and breathed in the
steam in for a few minutes, after I towelled off I walked into my
room and let it drop around my feet. I stood in front of the mirror;
there were no bruises or cuts for the first time in years, just the
scars on my thighs. I thought about what it would be like in Dike. I
wondered anyone would bully me there, or if I might find a
girlfriend. I thought about what she would be like, what her perfume
would smell like, how her lips would feel on mine. I wondered whether
she likes to cuddle or not. I wondered if my mum would like her. And
I wondered if she’d be good in bed. I got up from the bed and
put my new uniform on and had to run so I wasn’t late.

I didn’t really notice the police there
until I stopped panting at the end of the queue. They’d said in
a letter that searches would be made for phones and confiscating them
until the end of the day. Jess and Cami were already in the
playground when I got there, I don’t know why but I just
decided to go and talk to them, since I didn’t know anyone
there yet. And Cami was exactly like the girlfriend I’d
imagined before I put my uniform on this morning. The hips, the lips,
the way her hair falls and as I walked over she was laughing and it
sounded just like the laugh I would have given her in my mind.

“Hey, I’m Lauren. Can I, talk to you
guys?” I shuffled on my feet, my heart was racing. The only
thing I was thinking was, if I blow it, I wouldn’t make any
friends here at all.

“Hi. Yeah sure. Jess.” She took her
hand from the strap of her rucksack and turned it slightly as a wave.

“Cami.” She didn’t really look
at me, just a quick glance without moving her head. I noticed that I
was staring and tried to stop but I couldn’t. It was literally
the girl of my dream. It sounds ridiculous I know, but it’s
like God saw what I was praying for and rewarded me with it.

We didn’t really get to talk all that much
before the bell went, it was my fault for taking so long to get ready
and through the gates that morning. Every day I say sorry to Jess and
Cami for being late, they always say it’s okay but I don’t
believe them. We talked about if we knew anyone here, I said I didn’t
and neither did Jess but Cami knew a couple of guys that moved here
from her old school. We were in the middle of the line that formed
for Year 10’s, I was so glad Jess and Cami were in the same
year as me, I didn’t feel half as nervous then as I did getting
ready for my first day. We were told to keep quiet but Jess and me
muttered to each other when the teachers weren’t looking, Cami
still wasn’t talking much. Everything was quiet except the wind
because the head teacher wanted to make a big welcoming speech for
all of us. Just as he cleared his throat a bottle broke and the first
screams were heard.

“AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH”

The first bomb had hit, right in front of us, it
was the one that got Cami and Jess. My leg had caught on fire but it
took a second to realise. I dropped and started to roll trying to
douse the flames, all I could see was fire. Hear its lion like rawr.
Feel the intense heat all around me as more and more of the bombs
smashed onto the playground. And the smell of pork. I didn’t do
anything to help Jess, I still feel guilty about that. Once my leg
was out I tried to help Cami, she was burnt black, I shook her but
she didn’t wake up. Before I knew it everyone was either being
escorted or dragged inside. I was dragged, screaming and kicking to
get back to Jess and Cami but Mrs. Sumner wouldn’t let me go. I
still hate her for that.

Mum was at the hospital as they wheeled me through
the door, they had me on morphine so I was too out of it to know what
was going on. They had to graft skin to my leg, it took a couple of
weeks to heal and I’m still having mental help. The school was
closed after the first day and is being kept as a memorial but
nothing more. The Prime Minister made it a national memorial. I
started back in my old school at the end of November. The bullies
don’t say anything to me now and I come home without any
bruises, which my mum is happy about. No one says anything about me
being gay anymore. The main thing they talk to me about is the leg.
The main think I talk about is Cami.