Fixing ourselves |
My spirit is grimy; I know that now. Only with the Almighty's presence can it be clean again. When I shelter myself in Him, I can become clean. So tonight, I'm reflecting on the phrase " Cleanliness is next to godliness." I believed for many years that cleanliness must be something God really cared about, since there was a saying stating that. I wondered what that meant sometimes. I wasn't a naturally tidy person, and it seemed that the neatniks would always get the front row seats. God obviously liked clean people better. The desire to fit in is strong in many people, and it often results in expecting those around you to adhere to unwritten rules. I think that aligning cleanliness with godliness is another instance of humanity's attempt to fix ourselves. It sets an expectation in place: God needs us perfect before we can come near Him. We must improve to be approved. Only when we connect the correct dots, can an audience with the Almighty become possible. These dots can be family, work, volunteering, displaying good manners, eating sensibly, or any combination of seemingly "right" things to do. I play eight-ball online, and sometimes my opponents post photographs of themselves. I don't want to see these, because I know I will judge the individual by the photo. I find myself wondering how the other player can breathe in those short shorts or why a nineteen-year-old wants to share his chest hair with me. They don't fit my model of right, so they must be wrong. I eschew most cosmetics, using lip balm only. I'm happy with my appearance; makeup seems like a waste of my time. Unfortunately, my eighteen-year-old son now has a difficult time with believing that women who use makeup can have depth of character. Makeup is for shallow people. Back to cleanliness. After years of lip service, it finally sank in that only God can improve me. My efforts are paltry and easily undone, like mowing hundreds of acres of lawn with a tweezer. Knowledge that lived only in my head now makes a home in my spirit, and brings a sense of discovery I previously lacked. Now I am living in the Almighty, not just in His presence. I feel something like an unborn infant, surrounded, nestled, and sheltered inside God's own self. By volunteering to live here, I have entered into a period of exploring what this means. What it does not mean is that I need to be perfect. I simply need to be someone willing to trust that God will make me better. No salary or house, no clothes or connections, no money or accomplishments will change me for the better. Only He can. And I end as I always end these writings now, grateful for all I receive from Him and wanting others to come this way and find peace. |