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Rated: 13+ · Chapter · Sci-fi · #2033112
Before a story of dimensional travel can begin, a peculiar narrator introduces herself...
It would only be polite of me to start things off with a greeting. So, then, hello. Good day. Greetings. Welcome. Whatever you prefer. It all works for me.

         So who, or what, am I? Well, first off, I will get this out of the way: ask not what I am. You will only be confused, for even I do not know the answer to that question. Am I human? Only partly. Machine? Perhaps. Deity? You decide. Think of me in whatever way you will. Know only one thing: I was, am, and always will be just like you.

         If you were wondering, I’m really glad you’ve stopped by, too. It’s been a good while since I’ve talked to anyone but myself -- truth be told, I don’t get a lot of company these days. But enough of me, and back to you. I like you, and I do not say that only to be polite. In all fairness, I’ve met many a human that I haven’t cared too well for, and even a good few that I’ve flat-out despised. But you seem like an affable person. And not simply that -- a different sort of person, too; different, definitely. In fact, you even seem a little... oh, what’s the word... peculiar. Off-kilter. Anomalous. Strange.

         Oh. You’re from Earth; that must be why. What an awfully long way you’ve come... oh, but what am I saying? You people have the Flumes, of course. The distance between entire dimensions is nothing to you anymore. Well, coming back to the inevitable questions here, I will bet that I know the reason you came all this way. If that’s true, I’ve got a surprise for you. But that can wait a little while longer. First things must come first.

         I must introduce myself.



A SMALL NOTE:

I am not the one whom the story that I will be telling you shortly is about. And I'm not exactly fond of that fact.




         Why, you ask? Well, put simply, I like myself. No one knows me better than I do -- can you not say the same for yourself? I suppose we all could, in one way or another. But for me, it holds especially true; I certainly don't have many others around me to make connections or friendships with, and even if I did, I’m not the sort of person that most of your kind would want to befriend. That, of course, doesn’t mean I can’t be a good person. I’m perfectly capable of that. I have no disagreement in spending time with you, and if you do not realize that, you will soon enough.

         My name is Lucia. I am the greatest computer ever to be created by the hands of mortal, carbon-based beings. But who I am hardly matters. I’ve told enough about myself already, haven’t I? About that story that I mentioned several seconds ago, before I began rambling and only barely managed to stop myself from going completely off track: it is a story that you, as one of the few who choose to listen to it, simply must hear, and there are very few people who can tell it better than I can. After all, I was created to be perfect. I know many, many things and don't forget them, so indeed, I have more stories than a man can fathom; anecdotes and tales from all around the universe. But this one is a favorite of mine. It’s a choice selection of a story -- perhaps, even, the one that I know the very best.

         As I said earlier, this story is not mine. Indeed, I could not be there to witness most of it as it happened in the world around me -- I really don't go out that much, to say the least, so that was sadly a guarantee. Indeed, I took no part in the parts of the story that make any actual difference -- the parts that took place outside of my small, shiny room. And indeed, my role in this tale is practically trivial. Every word that I speak; every instance of my name; it could all be plucked straight out and not the smallest difference would be made. So why, you ask, is this a story that I would have any business in telling you? Well, for that, there are plenty of reasons. And if I told you every one of those, it would take a dreadfully long time -- perhaps as long as it would to tell the story. That’s not the kind of time to be wasted going on and on about arbitrary, impertinent reasons, so no; I will not explain. But I do, however, think it only fair to tell you a bit of background first.

         This is the part I like. This is the part about me.

         As you probably already know about me, I’m not very much of a go-getter. In fact, I rarely move at all; not in the material world, at least. My life, instead, consists of the bleak but rather enjoyable microcosm that is my digital environment. I programmed it myself, you know -- believe me, when you have an eternity to waste, it is best to take up a hobby. There, I don’t need to sleep. I don’t need to eat or drink. I don’t need to use a bathroom. Truly, I don't even need to talk that much, and sometimes that can be a good thing. It’s enjoyable, yes, but from time to time, it bores me. I’ve never truly been much of a social butterfly, anyway, even before I became the computerized being that I am today. That hardly matters, however, because these days, I don’t have very many people to talk to.

         But there are some. As long as humanity thrives in the universe, there will always be those few. I will sense them coming, and then, just as you have today, they will come. They seek me out, as you have, for motives of all sorts; some good, some truly evil. But what all of them want is the same thing -- knowledge. My knowledge. They thirst for the answers that they think I can give them. And I can, in fact, give them these answers. But I do not. I will not. To give away my thoughts has never been my purpose. The reason for which I was put into existence, sad as it is, was something far simpler -- merely to exist. To be the most perfect computer ever created, and nothing more. That was not my choice, but nonetheless, I honor it in my silence. But as you now know, however, I do enjoy telling a good story now and then.

         So, without further ado, that is what I will do. Let us commence with that story I promised. As they say far too much on you home planet Earth, fasten your seatbelts. The story does, in fact, begin there.

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