Chapter Three: Walking on Roofs

Over the next two days, Ynkeri did little but sleep and eat to regain her strength. If she slept with her eyes open, Lukas did not mention it again. Once she felt ready to rise from her pile of musty-smelling blankets, the blue-eyed boy handed her some patched clothes that looked like they would fit her better than what she had, a burlap sack, and a bar of soap. Putting the square block to her nose, she breathed deeply and then immediately wished she hadn’t. The smell reminded her of her father’s herb garden and an aching feeling settled heavily in her chest. Lukas had already turned his back to put on his jacket and so did not see her wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“Don’t lose the soap- you only get one a year,” he said, throwing a wink over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Ynkeri asked, swallowing hard. She didn’t think she was ready to leave the basement yet.

“Not far, and you’re going with me, so don’t worry.” He smiled, showing his teeth, slightly awry. Ynkeri couldn’t help but smile back.

Lukas opened the heavy door and walked up the stairs. She followed the blue eyed boy up the stairs and into a freezing, moonlit night.

“How well do you climb,” Lukas asked, his hands already grasping metal piping against the stone wall of the building. Looking up, Ynkeri set her jaw.

“I can keep up,” she said, hoping she could. Lukas didn’t glance back, but started his slow shimmy up the drain pipe. She watched him closely to see what he was doing and then mimicked his process as closely as she could. Her arms ached halfway up, but she would not admit defeat. Instead, she ignored the burning in her muscles and only thought of the next step until Lukas’ hand was outstretched to pull her over the side and onto a graveled roof.

Breathless, Ynkeri looked around and smiled proudly. The building was only three levels tall, but she’d never done anything like that before.

“The rooftops are only safe if you’re quick and you know where you’re going,” Lukas said, not stopping. Winded, Ynkeri followed without replying.

Over the next ten minutes, Lukas jumped narrow alleys and skidded across loose tiles with Ynkeri close on his heels. At one point, she lost her footing and began to slide, but the blue-eyed boy caught her forearm, leveraging himself against a chimney until she had her balance again. Without commenting, he turned and began his descent. Ynkeri looked down over the ledge and swallowed hard. She would need to follow him down, but after all the running and the initial climb, she didn’t think she could do it. Lukas landed on his feet with a soft thud and then motioned for her to follow. Ynkeri knew if she spent any time thinking about it, she’d end up sleeping on the roof so she turned her back on the empty space between the buildings and put out her left leg tentatively searching for a toe-hold. She found one sufficiently far enough down and grabbed onto the heavy piping and swung her right foot over the ledge. Fully off the roof, Ynkeri tried not to panic as she very carefully made her way down. Her hands were completely numb by the time her feet splashed in a cold puddle, but the miserable wet couldn’t dampen her mood.

“There’s a set of stairs to your left,” Lukas said, an amused tone in his voice. Ynkeri gritted her teeth and put her frozen hands in her pockets.

“You’re an idiot,” she said, her lips chattering.

Lukas shrugged and smiled a crooked smile. Without replying, he turned, knocked twice on a metal door, and waited.

After several seconds, the voice of an old man said, “Did you bring flowers?”

“Not unless you count my pretty face,” Lukas said.

The lock on the door clicked and a white haired man peered out from a small gap, “You did bring a flower!” he said, his gaze falling on Ynkeri. Not knowing what else to do, she smiled, hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she felt.

“Is Heli here,” Lukas asked, his head craning over the old man’s grey head into the room beyond.

“Of course and she asked me to look out for you though she didn’t tell me we were expecting a new friend.” The old man said, revealing an almost toothless grin. Stepping to the side, he beckoned them both in with a shaking, wrinkled hand.

∞

The wall of warmth and the smell of bread hit Ynkeri full in the face, making her knees weak and her mouth water uncontrollably. Lukas’ cold room had been a wonderful break from the wet corner with the overhang, but this place was heaven.

“You’re in time for soup,” a familiar voice said from an adjoining room. Heli rounded the corner with a steel pot, her hands in pink and green oven mitts.

The old man shuffled towards a table in the main room and then sat heavily in a flimsy chair made of plastic. Lukas and Ynkeri followed suit.

         After Heli ladled out the soup, the four set to eating without a word. The hot bread was passed around and each person pulled off a chunk. Ynkeri put a small piece of the fresh bread in her mouth and savored the softness. There wasn’t any meat in the soup, but it filled her stomach all the same.

When the sounds of spoons against bowls slowed down, Heli looked at Lukas and asked, “How did she do?”

         Mouth full of bread, Lukas said, “She kept up, but she wasn’t paying attention at the end.”

         “What did she miss?”

         “I missed the stairs,” Ynkeri replied before Lukas could swallow. Heli responded with a grunt and reached for her glass of water.

         “It’s an easy mistake to make,” Lukas said reassuringly.

         Heli put her glass down and cleared her throat. “Why don’t you and Pik clean up in the other room?”

         “Can’t we have more soup?” the old man asked.

         “You can empty the pot. In the other room,” Heli said, her face unreadable. Ynkeri was starting to feel a little panicked and looked towards Lukas who was already standing, but wouldn’t meet her gaze.

Once they were gone, Heli turned her gaze on Ynkeri.

“What did you do wrong?” She asked quietly.

“I missed the stairs.”

“No, that’s the result of what you did wrong. What mistake did you make?” Heli was quiet for several seconds before she continued, “You’re a clever girl. Think.”

“Lukas didn’t say there were stairs, I just followed him.” Ynkeri replied, still not following. Heli smiled.

“And why did you follow Lukas without looking around?”

“Because I trust him?” Her voice turned the statement into a question. Why would trusting Lukas be a mistake?

“There are two things you need to learn in this world: trust is earned and even the most trust-worthy people fail you. Your weakness is that you trust anyone who is nice to you. It will get you killed faster than most anything else except stupidity.”

Ynkeri bristled at that. “Lukas is my friend. Isn’t he your friend?” 

“And all friends let you down at some point or another. Trust Lukas- it will make you happier, but keep your eyes open,” Heli pushed a finger into Ynkeri’s forehead. “You are the only person you can trust.”

“If I hadn’t trusted Lukas that first time in the alley, I would have died,” Ynkeri replied, rubbing her head where the woman’s finger had dug into her skin.

“You didn’t trust Lukas, girl. You made a judgment call. You decided it was worth the risk. Lukas has sheltered and fed you so now you’re emotionally attached to him, but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll see I’m right. It was a good call you made a couple of days back. You need to hold onto that sharpness, but it will be hard with a roof over your head and a meal in your belly. This is the time when we lose the most frosh.”

“What are frosh?” Ynkeri asked, frustrated. Lukas had used that word, too, but she’d never heard it before.

“An ancient translation is “frog,” but it used to be a term for first year students. I think it suits the situation well. Frosh are innocent, trusting, and, more importantly, stupid. And those things don’t just get you killed, they get everyone you know killed. Do you understand? Lukas, me, and Pik- we’re all dead if you get caught.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone anything,” Ynkeri said, confidently. I wouldn’t, not ever.

“You wouldn’t want to, but it wouldn’t take long,” Heli said, her hand darting out to grab Ynkeri’s wrist tightly. Painfully. The woman leaned in and whispered, “If you think I care about you one lick, I don’t. I don’t know you, but I’ve known Lukas since he could walk and Pik has known me since I could walk. I wouldn’t trust anyone to keep them safe, but me.”

Ynkeri wanted to cry out, but bit her lip instead. She would not give this woman a chance to see her suffer.

“You’re strong and smart- you have more stubbornness in you than any eleven year old has a right to-” Heli must have caught her frowning, because she interrupted herself to say, “Oh yes, I’m old not blind, girl and you’re a bad liar.” Heli released her wrist and sat back. Ynkeri pulled her jacket sleeve over her wrist to hide the blossoming bruise.

Standing, Ynkeri looked hard at Heli. “Thank you for dinner.” Her father taught her not to be rude, so she said nothing more. There was no response from Heli except a curt nod. Angry and shocked, she turned and opened the door.

“Where are you going?” Lukas asked from the other room, a clattering sound and heavy footsteps followed his question.

“Away from here- don’t worry about me, though. I’ll take the stairs.”

∞

         “Wait!” Lukas said, his voice low and insistent behind her. Ynkeri didn’t stop. She could hear his footfalls on the rickety stairs, but she had already reached the roof. She looked out over the buildings and tried to think which way they had come. She was already lost and she knew it. A hand reached out for her arm, but she jerked it away and glared at him.

         “Why did you bring me here?” Ynkeri demanded. Lukas put his hands into his pockets and looked hard at her.

         “Everyone has dinner with Heli before-“

         “Before what?” Ynkeri snapped. Her wrist was hurting more now and the cold wind was biting at her nose and ears.

         “Before we let you in on how everything works- before we give you information that could kill us if it fell into the wrong hands. Heli isn’t nice, but she’s got a point.” 

         “What do you do with the people who don’t pass your test?” Ynkeri said, trying to decide if she could outrun Lukas. She decided she couldn’t. Not only was he faster, he knew the area much better than she did. Lukas frowned.

         “We don’t do anything to anyone. People either decide they can handle Heli and how she does things, or they leave and survive as best they can on their own.”

         “Why would you let anyone leave? They know where you live.”

         Lukas shrugged, “You know where I’ve stayed the last three days. You know a little bit about where you had dinner, but it’s dark and we didn’t walk the streets. These are small risks. How we gather food and clothes- how we avoid the scanners- those are all things that few people know, even inside the community and no one person knows about everything, not even Heli.”

         “So Heli doesn’t trust her own people?”

         “It’s not really about trust- it’s about protecting the group. If I get caught and I’m pressed for answers, I can only give up one or two pieces of the puzzle. It would make survival harder, but it wouldn’t make it impossible.”

         “You’d never get caught though, would you?” Ynkeri asked.

         “Everyone gets caught at some point. Pik is the oldest- Heli is second, but she’s thirty years younger. Itinerants past twenty are hard to find, but we have two in our group. That has to mean something, right?”

         “You’re not like her,” Ynkeri said, not understanding why Lukas would be on her side.

         “No, I’m an idiot. Heli has made that clear on multiple occasions.”

         “You’re not- and anyway, why do you trust Heli when she keeps saying no one can be trusted?”

         “Because you have to start somewhere,” Lukas said, stepping closer, reaching out his arm as if to touch her. Ynkeri tensed, but the blue-eyed boy didn’t seem offended. He let his hand fall. “You look like you’ve had enough for one night. Want to go home?”

         “I didn’t know I had one of those anymore.”

         “My place is too big for just one person and I’m secretly hoping you whack another cat on the head and offer to share it with me.”

         “You’d seriously want to eat a cat?”

         “I’m actually not particular on the kind of animal. It’s just been a long time since I ate something that didn’t come out of a can.”