A Love Lesson Learned

A Love Lesson Learned

My fondest Christmas memory is bittersweet. I was eight. I did not understand why there were only 2 gifts under the tree; the larger one was for me, a small one for my older sister. From the time I saw the big gift, I was excited to open it! I thought it must be a very great gift! Mommy and Daddy saw how excited I was about the big gift. But they didn't return my smiles when I would sit beside it, touch it and try to guess what was in it. They would look at each other, still not smiling. Mommy was baking so many cakes and pies that year and all my favorite cookies, and candies. And we had home grown fruits and nuts whenever we wanted, and some oranges that someone had given to us . Mommy, of course, made everything from scratch and baked on a wood stove. Daddy kept her amply supplied with wood. From the many and varied apple trees on our farm, Mommy made a stack apple cake, 6 layers high, Half-moon pies and cookies. We had a Black Walnut tree also, it is very difficult to get the meat from Black Walnuts, but I helped Daddy with this task. Mommy used those for decorations on a cake and in cookies and candies. We had many different berry bushes also, from which she use to make jams and jam cakes, and fruit cookies. She worked hard for 3 days before Christmas. But Daddy seemed sad, and so quiet. We had meat from the hogs Daddy killed every year. Vegetables from the garden, he and mommy worked so hard in all summer and the canning that took so much time and effort. Most of which I got out of, because I was the baby, and my older siblings say I was spoiled. I don't remember being spoiled. Our house was warm, sometimes too warm because Mommy kept that wood stove going all day long. I couldn't keep from looking at that big gift, and wondering what was in it. Was it a doll house? Oh I couldn't wait!



That Christmas morning as I was getting ready to open my one big gift, I was so excited! But Daddy stood up and left the house. I did not know why. Mommy was in the kitchen. So I had to ask, "Can I open it now?" Mommy called back, "Yes, go ahead and open it". This is not how we did things on Christmas morning! We all sat around with big smiles as we watched each other open gifts. Why was Mommy and Daddy not there to watch me open my big gift? It was only my older sister and me. Yet, I was so eager to see what could possibly be inside I ripped off the paper and struggled to undo the tape holding the lid on. Finally, I could open the lid and look inside. I could not contain my disappointment. Tears welded up in my eye, I put the lid back on the box and slowly pushed it down my legs and onto the floor. My sister, in a hushed, but angry voice explained to me; Daddy was out of work and our money crop had been poor that year because of the weather. We did not have money for Christmas presents, barely enough for anything else. But somehow Mommy and Daddy had been able to get a gift for me. She told me I should be ashamed! She didn’t need to. I already felt so sad and ashamed, I wanted to cry harder. I was glad Mommy and Daddy did not see my disappointment; I felt so ungrateful! I picked the box up again and removed the lid. There was a thick coloring book, a small box of crayons and a pair of striped knee-socks. That book and those socks became my favorite things. I mustered all my strength to not cry, then called out to Mommy, 'Thank you, I love it!' She came to the door of the living room, smiling with that twinkle that was always in her eyes when she smiled. 'You like it?', she asked. I nodded, unable to speak from the effort of holding back tears. But Mommy was smiling now and that was my second Christmas gift! When I sat down to Christmas dinner with the family and saw the table full of good foods. Food we had grown and gathered during the summer and fall. And saw all the cakes and pies sitting on every possible space available, I realized, even at that age, that Christmas was more than gifts under a tree. Food on the table and the love that put it there, that was Christmas! And Christmas was family.