The Year Thanksgiving Came Early

A Thanksgiving Past

         Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday - it meant colder weather, warmth from a cozy fireplace, the smell of turkey and pies, football, and a chance to get together with my family to reminisce about everything. Reminiscing with my sisters always brought me to tears - tears of laughter. But not all my memories are happy. I remember 1997 - the year we celebrated Thanksgiving in October.

         In June 1997, I married the love of my life. Six months prior to our getting married, he underwent an operation to remove cancer from his colon. He was in Stage IV, but his doctor told us the operation was a success. In an abundance of caution, he wanted him to undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatments for a couple months, but he felt confident the wedding in June could proceed as planned.

         Our June wedding was held at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida and it was beautiful. Everyone was dancing and having such a great time, but by the end of the evening, my husband was so exhausted; he just wanted to lie down. He apologized for not having the strength to carry me over the threshold.

         We went to Las Vegas for our honeymoon, but he never felt good. He would sleep all day (mainly because it was July and very hot) and then we would go out in the evening. I felt so bad for him, so we returned home after one week. He returned to work but would stop by my office every day so he could lie down and take a nap. By October, he just couldn’t finish a day’s work, so he decided to quit.

         My husband was concerned about his two children (by a previous marriage). They didn’t know he had cancer and he needed to tell them. He decided to fly them down to celebrate an early Thanksgiving in October. I knew at that moment that he didn’t think he would be alive much longer.

         As always, my mother made the dinner and pies and my two sisters and I helped as much as she would allow. Conversation at the table was guarded, but we all tried to keep it as upbeat as we could; I wanted to burst out crying.

         Just before Thanksgiving, he started hiccupping and it wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t sleep and was having difficulty breathing. He asked me to take him to the Emergency Room. The doctors told him the cancer had spread to his liver and the enlarged liver was pressing against his diaphragm and that was causing the hiccups. They ran a few more tests and then his doctor told me to take him home. He was terminal and not expected to live much longer.

         Please understand that even though this story has been reduced to short sentences and paragraphs, the last few months of his life felt like an eternity. We had researched numerous alternative medicines, read books about cancer, and changed his diet - everything we could possibly do to keep the cancer from spreading. Nothing worked. He died at home in my arms the following month.

                   Although my memories of that one Thanksgiving Past are sad, I try to remember the two Thanksgivings I had with him before we were married. I remember the fun we had going to charity balls and dancing all night, the spontaneous weekend trips he would plan, and the parties and picnics with our friends and family. Those are the times I remember and give thanks for every Thanksgiving.

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