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Printed from https://writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2015410-Oct-22-Outline-Revision-3
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by Rojodi Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Other · Other · #2015410
Another revision: It's getting close
I. Beginning
A. Crime – Alyssa “Aly” Thompson found at her family’s summer cabin, severely beaten and comatose. Her parents, told that she might never awaken, call friend Micah Andrzejewski to read to her, to keep her mind stimulated.
1. Micah is introduced to the nursing staff as well as the doctors
2. The Thompsons have given him permission to visit at any hour he pleases.
B. Investigation – After it stalled, Thompsons call friend Nicholas “Nick” Deyman to pick up where the police left off.
1. Deyman talks with his friends and goes to the County building, to the chief of police.
2. The police seem hesitant to deliver to him their report on the case, believe that he shouldn’t see it.
a. Reluctantly, the police give Nick the file, which includes suspects and possible motives.
b. He looks at the list of suspects and isn’t shocked to see her ex and current boyfriends.
c. He is shocked, however, to see a politician.
d. He immediately travels to Albany where he makes an appointment to speak to family friend, State Senator
3. Nick makes plans to see the petty thieves, who are currently in another county’s lockup.

II. Middle
A. Story Time – Micah reads a new story to Aly, one that he read years ago to another comatose patient in the same hospital.
1. She dreams of the story, involving herself as the lead female character
2. Aly’s happy within the dream
B. Investigation Snag – Nick Deyman is thwarted by the senator’s assistant.
1. The young man won’t allow the private investigator in to see him
2. Has Nick escorted out of the building
3. Nick is told by the capitol police that the assistant is famous for blocking investigations, by police and private investigators alike.
C. Added Suspects – Nick adds the assistant to the list to the suspect list.
1. He was given additional information, leading him to add the senator’s wife.
2. The petty criminals are removed from the list. Their alibies check out.
D. Micah’s story
1. Nurses gather around as he tells another sword and sorcery short story
2. Several pediatric patients are also listening to his story.
3. Aly dreams of the story.

III. End
A. Story Time – Micah tells a story when the senator’s wife comes in, followed by the senator’s aid. Aly’s dream becomes violent.
1. Nurse notices a change in Aly’s facial expression
2. She tells one of the Thompsons’ friends, someone she knows as Nick.
B. Checked Off – Petty criminals, once thought as possible suspects, are checked off, as are her current boyfriend and the senator’s wife.
1. Deyman’s running out of suspects, but he believes that he knows who did it
2. The problem is proving it
C. End Game – Nick confronts the senator’s aid, asking why he asked nurses, on several occasions, of Aly’s condition. Nick also shows evidence of pictures the aid had in his home computer, of Aly and the senator’s wife, entering a Planned Parenthood together.
1. Vosler runs out of the hospital
2. Deyman catches up to him.
D. Police arrive.
1. Vosler confesses to them, just wishes that the girl just admitted to having an affair with the senator.
2. The police inform him that there was never an affair; she was helping the senator’s wife have a mammogram, since there’s a leak at her doctor’s office.
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