Like a hallway (chapter 1)

As cold as the wind outside the window and the feeling inside my brain was the door that now opened in front of my shadowy and half-blind vision without in any way revealing a satisfactory cake or alluring soda bottle to carry with me to the bus a few meters away from the door in the hall. While my gaze slided up and down and back and forth and in and out of the fridge without finding anything to satisfy my burning hunger, I began to think about the past night when the paralysis of my brain began to ease thanks to the light and the cold from the white food cupboard.
One of my two cats was sleeping quite carefree and devoid of remorse and stress, and when my bowl of breakfast cereal, which I had to take because of the lack of anything appealing, got put down on the table, this spoiled animal lifted his ears. Maybe I will get food now?
That Cat Bastard jumped off the couch and pulled slowly towards the kitchen after stretching his legs as if he had all the time in the world, a feeling that I could never know, thanks to the punishment which all human beings got because of their developed intelligence. When I put down my milk on the table along with a spoon and the worthless animal started meowing and whining as if it had anything to complain about, my thoughts began to analyze the schedule of the day, and then compare it to the previous dates. Would I go to sleep with a smile or would the day turn into a sitcom without any kind of warning, the way the jargon of life usually played?

If there is one thing I've learned in my life itâs that if you get the possibility to fulfill your dreams, you shall NOT be happy until you've actually reached it.
Reason?
Well, let me tell you this: It's really messed up! And by that I don't mean messed up like hard to understand, but messed up like "completely freaking messed up!"
Have you ever had a talent? Yeah, of course you have had a talent, but I mean, have you ever been REALLY proud of your talent by the age of 17? I bet some people have been, of course, but most people wouldn't appreciate what they actually have at that age. Well, I learned to appreciate my special talent over the course of just one day. When I woke up, I felt it was useless. Why did I had to get such a freaking pointless and boring talent like that? But when I went to bed that night, that had all changed!
Ok, so I bet youâre wondering what my talent is. Well! Here it comes!
Talking!
I really have a way with words! I can make almost everything I say believable.
Yeah, I know, when I tell you this, you are probably thinking "Wow, what a cool talent! I wish I had that! How could you ever think of doubting it?"
You see, that's the thing. People only appreciate OTHER talents than the ones they actually have. If this was YOUR specialty, and not mine, you would find it meaningless too, and I would think it was supercool and just freaking awesome!
(Ok, maybe I use the word "Freaking" too much, but I don't want to say the word that we all know I actually MEAN. But, feel free to change it yourself!)
By the way, the fact that you don't believe I could ever doubt my talent... well... I don't understand it either. After I learned what a beautiful thing I've been so generously gifted with, I cannot understand how stupid and close-minded I was before.
Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say, I bet you're thinking. When you've got a talent that cool.
You're right. My talent IS cool. Then again, I DARE you to name ONE talent that isn't. And don't say "Well, if your talent is murder, then...¦ bla, bla, bla", cause that's not a talent! Ok, it might be, but then at least you can kill people you don not like. Imagine being in a reeeaaalllly boring class about something you have no idea how to understand (and no idea WHY you're supposed to learn this), then you can just kill your teacher and you'll save everyoneâs ass.
Anyway, my point is that everyone has a talent. Once again, you might be thinking "Yeah, thatâs easy for you to say, since you've already found yours", but why would that matter? And by the way, I haven't FOUND it. I've had it all the time, otherwise it's not a talent. I've just REALIZED it and decided to work on it to get even better. There's a difference there, people!
Did you really think that finding your talent was gonna be easy? Did you really think you could spend one day looking for it and then give up and think "Well, I've tried. I didn't find anything. So that settles it. I don't have any talents. I'm a loser with cheekbones."?
Well, think again! Or at least, TRY again, if you don't feel like thinking about it.
Thinking can be both a blessing and a curse. Human intelligence is always considered something positive, but if you think about it (okay, that kinda came out wrong, but whatever) it can also be a huge burden. If you didn't THINK about getting noticed, would you be depressed because of low self-esteem? If you didn't THINK about getting power, would you have caused a huge war? (No, I'm not blaming you for anything, just talking about humans in general.) If you didn't THINK about the presentation you're gonna hold at school tomorrow, would you really get nervous then? If the answer is no; See! I was right! If the answer is yes; Jeez, whatâs wrong with you?
I'm not saying people should stop thinking (boy, that would be a mess), I'm just stating that if people DIDN'T think, the risks of getting depressed would be much closer to 0.
Did I think when I found my talent? No! I didn't! And why? Because, like I said before, I didn't FIND it, I just DISCOVERED IT.
Yeah, yeah, but did I think about it when I discovered it? No! I didn't! And why? Because in my opinion, my talent was useless, therefore I didn't wanna waste energy thinking about the crap.
But here comes the real question: Did I think when I learned that my gift could be useful?
Well, that depends on what you mean by thinking.
I didn't think, like; "Hey, I love my talent! Hm... How can I use it to my advantage?" But, I did think; "Hmm... Why didn't I appreciate the beauty of my talent before?"
It helped me in a lot of ways. For one thing, I got more confident. I stopped seeing myself as a loser and actually started feeling a lot happier about myself. Second, it also got me thinking (yes, here it comes again... thinking); "If people didn't reject compliments so much, everyone would be so much happier, like I am now."
I mean, think about it. If you show a picture to somebody, and they say "Hey! You look really good on that picture", well... do you really absorb the comment? My guess is that you simply wave it away by saying "Oh, stop it!" No! YOU stop it! Don't go around thinking every compliment you get is just said to make you feel better. What if the person saying that actually has that opinion, which, in my guess, most often is the case? I think that if the person didn't think you looked good on the picture, he or she simply wouldn't say anything at all.
On the other hand, when someone insults you, you go around thinking about that comment all day. It doesn't just give you pain, it starts to take over your whole being. You know how people say the cheesy line "It's eating my soul", well... It's true. Cheesy, yes, but true. (Maybe that's why it's cheesy - Because it's reality). And what is it that is eating your soul? Yupp. You guessed right. It's the insult. The comment that was taken out of context when you absorbed it into your mind. The comment that didn't even have an argument for how or why it was said. The comment that was said by ONE person, about ONE flaw. A flaw that might not even be a flaw. Please, think about that before you absorb it!