Conapt-Complex-1

Your new conapt! Our accomodations are first-rate. Soaring three-foot ceilings, genuine balsa-wood floors, hand-distressed cardboard furniture. What more could you ask for?

Here's the reroomtemperatureator. Oh look, lucky you! The previous guy left some food! This grey-green stuff appears to be mayonnaise from the label...well, you know what they say, the best-before date is only a rough estimate, free food is free food after all.

You'll be sleeping here. A leak? Why, that's the best feature! Who wastes imagination on sheep when they can count water droplets hitting their forehead!

Security? Our locks are very special. Anyone can get in, and no one can get out! How can anyone steal anything when they can't leave? Nifty feature.

Washrooms? Conapt-Complex-1 doesn't have washrooms, so you'll have to go to Complex-7 for your defecatory and urinary needs. Thats six complexes away. However, we didn't extend the license to the sinks, so you'll have to go to Complex-19 for that (don't touch any doorknobs on the way over. This is an L-Grade-Sanitary-Conapt-Complex-Cluster!) Bathing? No baths. We suggest you sneak into our rival's, Lodgeonomics, for those amenities. They are required shoot you for trespassing, but in reality they barely implement that rule. Their customers don't have access to electricity after 4 in the afternoon, so we let them hop the fence to watch late night TV, and in exchange they turn a blind eye towards anyone sneaking about in a bathrobe. Toothbrushing must be done in the communal dental hygiene tent. It's a heart-warming community-building experience.

That vault... nobody is allowed in there. It's filled with the most valuable thing in the world...the Great Outdoors! After these Conapt-Complex-Clusters swallowed up the world, outdoor space became the rarest commodity. So we keep it under lock and key behind a 12-inch titanium door.