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A lot on my mind tonight, just a vent session really. |
And i take a deep breath but i still feel like i'm sinking drowning in a bowl, nothing left to believe in and i'm doubting myself, doubting my religion reassessing my beliefs, given up on traditions these words that I'm writing they don't let it all out I'm just a girl, a person, living with her doubts but i'm trying to regroup, trying to get one step higher but the stress is pushing down on me, building a brick wall against my desires and it's blocking my path, blocking everything i've dreamed i'm losing myself in this manmade stream and i can't stop the tears that keep cascading down my face i haven't cried this much in years i can't help feeling so disgraced but this worry it's eating me, it's eating me alive i feel like there's something in me, trying to break to the outside and i'm trying to take my time, trying to lose all of these fears trying to stop myself from caring about what happened after all these years and the past keeps rearing it's undesirable head it's making me a mess, this worry is causing me dread and i'm losing myself in this manmade stream and I can't stop the tears that cascade down my face I can't stop myself from believing that I'm just another disaster awaiting to happen a self destructive failure |