Don't Buy Any Car Dot Com

DON'T BUY ANY CAR DOT COM

Written by Craig Hosie

DAVE and WILMA are lying in bed.

DAVE

I think we need to buy a new car love.

A man with a guitar enters.

GUITARMAN

We sell any car dot com...big cars, small cars, good cars, shit cars, fast cars, slow cars and mini bars...

GUITARMAN sits down on the edge of the bed.

WILMA

Yea, but we'll need to get a loan first.

GO COMPARE GUY walks in to their bedroom.

GO COMPARE GUY

Go compare! Go compare! Go compare!

Go compare guy sits down on the edge of the bed.

Snoop Dogg enters.

SNOOP DOGG

Don't listen to that fool, get your ass to moneysupermarket.com!

Snoop Dogg sits on the edge of the bed.

DAVE

Wait a minute...what about our mis-sold PPI?

WE HEAR AN ERUPTION OF PHONES RINGING AND TEXT MESSAGES

DAVE (ANSWERING HIS PHONE)

Hello - really? - 10,000! - wow, that's wonderful news - I can't thank you enough - speak to you later - bye!

WILMA

Who was that?

DAVE

My mum. She just bought us a ten grand car.

WILMA

Awe, that's great news love. That will save us a fortune.

Snoop Dogg and the other men get up and trundle downstairs, we see them walking outside.

DAVE

Now love...we'll need to sort out some insurance.

END.