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Rated: E · Other · Other · #2003316
Some things you get when sitting on the toilet
1 - The murderer is most likely the one with the purest motive;

2 - If something comes back from the dead, shoot it;

3- Its good to forgive, but never good to forget;

4 - Its okay to share food, but leave the last bite;

5- Suits are cool, always;

6 - A bully talks to much;

7 - The closer you are, the safer you'll be;

8 - There is always Yaoi, as long as the guys are sexy;

9 - When stuck, laugh;

10 - Remember to stop and smell the roses, nothing like a detour to keep people guessing;

***

1- Settle arguments out of court, its cheaper that way;

2 - Do not worry needlessly, it is a given that sometimes, shit will happen no matter how you prep.;

3 - Don't be afraid to ask for help;

4 - Love your enemies so that they will owe you one. Favors are worth their weight in gold;

5 - When someone strikes you do not resist, until the bruises are big enough to see at least. That way, you can claim self-defense when you knock the other guy out;

6 - Be careful of who you extend trust to, some people just do not understand the value of what you are giving them;

7 - Resolve problems like you do fights; At the heart, not at the arms;

8 - The biggest thing you can do for a server is to be polite;

9 - Do not volunteer your help, but do not be a dick if someone asks you for help;

10 - Its ok to pursue your dreams. But remember,hard cash puts food on the table;

***

1 - Spirit is the most important thing in Aikido, techniques can only be taught if you are willing to learn;

2 - Exercise the four Rs;

Respect for a tenacious spirit;
Respect for seniority's wisdom;
Respect for effective technique;
Respect for ingenuity and creativity;

3 - Constant training will make you good, but it is the open mind that helps you get better;

4 - A belt is no indication of skill level;

5 - A bit of Self-Centeredness gives a stronger technique;

6 - But there is a difference between effective technique, and effective assholery;

7 - Don't be afraid to get intimate with your uke;

8 - Don't worry about speed, speed comes with experience;

9 - Do worry about effectiveness, especially if you want to live long enough to gain speed;

10 - Aikido is a martial art of compassion, take the guy down first, then show compassion.

***

1 - It is interesting to note that Jesus's greatest enemies were the pharisees. Or the teachers of the law. Or in modern terms, Christians.

2 - Jesus was no saint. He rebelled against authority, he brawled in the temple, he fraternized with sinners and outcasts, he was homeless, and he did not wash his hands before eating. Not the kind of guy you would introduce to your family easily.

3 - The bible is not a rulebook, storybook or biography. It is a testimony of a life, a challenge to others to follow, and it is alive in those who rise to the challenge;

4 - It is ironic that Jesus, the son of a righteous God, chose to appear to the unrighteous, and to bring the sinners to glory;

5 - Good thing too;

6 - Jesus shows that compassion goes further than judgement;

7 - Jesus was logical, and as such, we who follow him, must also be logical;

8 - Someone once said that if only God came down to earth to be among man, that he might experience life on earth. Well, he did;

9 - He was tempted as a man, he starved and thirsted like a man, and he died like a man. And came back again just to show he can;

10 - For Jesus, actions always had the loudest voice.

***

Bonus:

Jesus was no sucker, but he was innocent to the ways of vengeance.
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