An essay I wrote about Monoxide, but could apply to anyone. |
Loving a Heavier Person Jessica Marie As I was sifting through Monoxide pictures today for mcm or Man Crush Monday, I came upon a picture of his where he says, "Smokin... llal1 my face looks ....... chubby? Llal." I replied, "Aww, cute. Chubby doesn't matter: made my heart melt." (Yes, I am a sucker for Monoxide.) I noticed other girls were flirting as well, but it made me think. Monoxide used to be thin and people commented that it seemed like he and Madrox switched roles. I like Monoxide either way, honestly. Besides his smoking, he seems healthy and he's active. That doesn't bother me as long as he's healthy. I dated two heavier guys and the weight didn't bother me, but their lack of exercise and watching their diets bothered me. They just didn't care about themselves. I know that's not the case with Monoxide. I don't judge. I used to be really heavy; I'm still somewhat heavy though I'm losing. I have thyroid issues and I was on medication that packed on the extra weight. I got off those medicines and my thyroid is getting better, but I'll be on thyroid hormone the rest of my life. I probably will never get back to pre-thyroid and medication weight, but I am very healthy and I do exercise. I never judge people on weight because you don't know what they are going through. However, it seems like most people (both male and female) judge. When I was heavier, I never got hit on. Then again, neither did I get hit on when I was thin. But, when friends at the time were getting hit on and going off with guys, that used to bother me. It actually killed my self esteem. Now, since I'm moving, it doesn't bother me so much anymore because I'm at where I want to be and working hard, but I also have other priorities (moving, job, getting my life together). I can't say if other girls meant what they said, but I meant every word I left Monoxide. As long as he's healthy, his weight doesn't bother me. He's also going to be 41 years old, we get heavier as we age usually. Monoxide looks good either way and he's a very nice guy, which is what is important to me. His personality and the way he treats others outshines his weight. Footnotes |