Out of the Frying Pan

A boy stood on the burning deck
He had nowhere to flee
Alone on a deserted ship
Upon an angry sea

Water water everywhere
But not a drop to drink
Said he "Oh damn and blast it
The ship's about to sink

Before I drown however
I'll ease my misery
I'll try to think of someone
Who's much worse off than me

Oh to be a castaway
Apart from all his mates
Alone on some far distant isle
With nowt to eat but dates

Oh to be a Labrador
And kicked out on the street
Be beaten, starved, neglected
Or crushed by people's feet

Oh to be a little bird
Upon a tree branch sat
Sweetly singing in the sun
Then eaten by the cat

Oh to be a prisoner
That finds his prison dull
So manages to scale the wall
But falls and cracks his skull

Oh to be a pilot in
A faulty aeroplane
To land safe with a parachute
Then get hit by a train

Oh to be a millionaire
Who tells his boss to stick it
Then goes to claim his winning prize
But finds he's lost the ticket"

Upon the burning deck he stood
Just barely half afloat
When suddenly he looked and saw
A fast approaching boat

The boat drew up beside the boy
And threw across a rope
The boy could not believe his luck
At this fresh sign of hope

"I'm saved I'm saved" he yelled with glee
"There's now no need to panic"
And with a great sense of relief
He boarded the Titanic.