Trusting in the Process

Trusting in the "process!" 1/6/14
It occurred to me the other day that everything we do in our day to day living is a process And we trust it because we know the outcome. We do these things automatic in some cases because we know or can prdict the outcome.
However as soon as something deeper and "Unknown" appears in our lives that we haven't experienced before our selves, all of a sudden it's not acceptable to accept the "process"
In this case I speak specifically of my 16 yr old developing an eating disorder.
Instead we worry ourselves sick going over the shouda's coulda's, woulda's obsessively trying to work out why this happened and then continue to project the outcome.
We can't know the outcome! No one has a crystal ball that will play out the situation scene by scene and tell us it is all going to be ok! or it is going to end in disaster.
Immediately we throw every amount of logic out of the situation and with our cognitive minds attempt to "Fix" the sometimes dyer situation.
What we really need to do in these situations is continue with our compassion, empathy, knowledge, wisdom and so on to guide the situation to a positive outcome.
However even if we do everything we can possibly do by the book (so to speak) we still do not have a guarantee of a positive/desired outcome.
Trusting in the process means doing everything you can but also having a reality that the process can end in a perceived negative outcome (this can be as extreme as death)
I say perceived because just because the situation is a negative outcome it does not mean that that 'Was not" the process. That it was not that persons and the people around them, their process. Instead of just accepting the "process as it is what it is ! we blame ourselves for not being there, not doing enough, not good enough in every way shape or form. We guilt ourselves into believing we had the "Power" to change this situation or save that person's life.
We don't necessarily have the ability to save another human being, we don't have all the answers and in an answer based society this is really hard to deal with.
Yes we can guide, encourage, educate ourselves, talk differently, act differently, obtain outside help and mentors, do everything within our power and ability, but unless that person wants to change the situation themselves and participate in repair of their own beings nothing we do can necessarily change that. It does not mean we do not try!
Each day I do a check list. Have I done everything I possibly can do today to divert this situation to a positive outcome. Most days I can say yes! And on the days I say no I could have done this instead of that, I then reflect on this and note to try and change that and do it differently next time. I then let go of that, release any guilt, accept my humanity and move on to the next day.
So the process is being in the moment, one day at a time, one hour of a time and one minute at a time if need be. I can't project tomorrow's outcomes I can only prepare, learn, reflect and accept. Not ruminating, projecting, catastrophizing,about tomorrow, next week , next month or next year! All I can do is sit in my centre, one day at a time.
This in its self is challenging because it also means that at times and it may be many times there just isn't an answer in the right here, right now. So often I have to say to myself and others out loud "I really don't know, I just don't know!" I also accept that that in itself "IS" the answer at that time. Challenging to say, in the least.
So the process "IS" the Process no matter if our perception and or reality say it is positive OR negative. It is still the process!
I respect the process....