My butterflies were gone

You pulled your hair loose
and I laughed, nervous
to the pit of my stomach
Butterflies, cockroaches, venus flytraps,
- whatever lived in there -
fluttered and crawled and snapped.
Two times I laughed
and you echoed me
questioning.
But we knew each other too well
for our first-time blushes.

I reached out and touched you;
There, where I knew you liked;
Stroking, teasing, pinching,
offering nothing - but promising.
Your small giggles were the first casualties.
Neither of us missed them.

I think my clothes were the next to go,
you, impatient, wanted to see
and I complied
(Only a little hesitant;
the lights weren't all out)
I took yours off roughly,
Clumsy, like I am.
I wonder if I crushed your fantasy.

You stroked your hand
along the gooseflesh on my arm
Warm,
like you really were dark chocolate
sliding over my collarbone.
And I shivered.

I found quickly
new places to make you moan.
You had so many.
And you loved it when
I told you what to do;
whispering, only the way I could
into your neck and ear
Flicking a wicked tongue
to finish my sentences.

I never ordered you
That would come later
After the sheets were rumpled
and wet.
And you didn't obey.
Not in that way.
One time you asked
and my fingers
-not so clumsy-
persuaded you as I'd suggested.

You asked a lot,
when I didn't make enough noise
and only bit my lip.
I breathed a laugh,
I said perhaps we were opposites
and besides,
you sang enough, little bird,
for both of us.

I wished again I could be a man.
Could crush my hard body
on you.
Into you.
Moving my hips violently. Slam!
My desperate cry to reach...
to reach.
But I pressed my silky skin
and soft curves,
woman to woman.

My butterflies were gone
and we both leaked.
Lips red,
you liked giving hickies,
and one of your breasts
had a mark
where my teeth had sunken in
a little too hard.
Sorry about that.

First time.
Second time.
Third time.
At least I wasn't working tomorrow.
Fourth time.
And my eyes were closing,
my arm was tired,
my face was flushed,
and you were selfish.
And I was too lenient.
Next time...
Next time
I will demand.
Like you do.

Numb,
our stomachs cramping from pleasure,
we fell asleep.