The Boundary and The Binding

The Boundaries and The Binding



She stood in the darkness of the Chicago boardwalk, a cliff-like scene, just her body, pushed slightly by wind, behind her downtown's lights, a shroud of darkness in front, clinging shards of light on her hair, bits of gray and white on its fringes- the water and Sam.

“Hey, Strobe, can we cook dinner tonight?” said Sam.

The man turned towards her, slightly smiling, “You realize it’s almost eleven o’clock, Sam. If you’re hungry, just get a pizza while we’re on the boardwalk. Something.”

Sam didn’t respond and started walking away from the end of the boardwalk. Her stride was willowy yet deliberate, and as she walked the soggy wood of the deck sagged with her steps softly. She hid a grin when she heard Strobe turn and trot towards her. “We can go to the grocery store and cook breakfast in the morning.” Strobe whispered. Sam nodded quickly and smiled which Strobe accepted and added, “Let’s go get Franzie and tell her we’re leaving.”

They walked together for a while until they passed a bar that was slightly crowded, and as they walked by Sam tripped, dropping her purse, scattering its contents, a picture of her and her best friend Allie, a ticket to Black Swan from three years ago, some change, a box of matches, her wallet, a small collection of empty- tiny baggies, and one baggy with two tabs of ecstasy, all on the ground. Sam threw herself to the floor and first grabbed the photo and placed it in her purse, and then she frantically threw the rest of the scattered items into her purse. Some of the people at the bar started standing and asking if she was okay, but Sam never respond and marched onward with Strobe, wrapping his arm around hers.

As they walked towards Franzie, Sam felt her phone vibrate in her pocket so she pulled it out and answered. “Hello? Oh hey Allie,” Sam’s eyebrows raised, “Yeah, I’m on the walk. Okay yeah I can talk. Yeah. Um yeah, I think I see your car. Alright.” Sam closed her phone and turned to Strobe, “Allie’s here and wants to talk to me.” Strobe nodded and said he would get Franzie and she could go ahead.

         Sam walked quickly to Allie’s car and opened the door of her sedan. “Hey Sam.” Sam sat in the car. Allie exhaled.

         “Hey… Ok so did you get anymore X?”

         Allie’s eyebrows furrowed, “Really?”

         “Ye-”

“I don’t talk to you for a week because I don’t want to deal for you anymore and the first thing you ask is if I have any X! Why did I even come back!”

         “Why all the sudden you stop selling Allie? I thought we were friends!”

         “Shut up Sam! I only dealt for fucking you, don’t you see! Didn’t even ask how I fucking was or how nice the fucking weather is you piece of shit! Get the fuck out of my ca-” Sam slapped Allie violently and leaned back. “Sam…” Sam went for round two and threw herself at Allie, punching and kicking. The rest blurred. Strobe appeared and dragged Sam out of the car still screaming and flailing. Allie’s face was bloody and already bruising from the assault; she was also bawling so Franzie ran and jumped in the car and hugged her and attempting to reassure her. Hyperventilation was never so loud. Sam was throwing a tantrum on the concrete as Strobe dragged her to their car.



         It rained later that night, so Sam lit four candles; Franzie had only a small litter.



         The next day Sam went with Strobe to get groceries for dinner, but Strobe rarely made a sound in the store. Sam loved the grocery store, though, and never noticed his anxiety. Her favorite part of the store was the fresh vegetables and meats section. As they walked, she stopped in front of a pile of locally grown tomatoes, slightly wet and glistening, sitting there waiting for someone to come and take them, take them from their friends and into beautiful homes, hopefully as clean as the farms the tomatoes came from. She grabbed one to put into the cart, but when she grabbed it, she could feel that the entire back was rotten and disgusting. She switched it for another and moved on. Sam whispered into Strobe’s ear almost sensually, “Isn’t it so cool to think that these tomatoes came from faraway and are now here. They traveled so far just for us. They’re like kids.” Strobe rolled his eyes at her lack of subtlety.

         Finally Strobe turned to talk to Sam, “Sam, you really shouldn’t have attacked Allie, and you haven’t said anything about it all day. I just think you don’t understand what you did, and if word goes out you hit Allie, the club might not get much business. Allie was really popular and ya’ know... Influential.”

         “Don’t lecture me. I know I went too far, but ya’ know… She betrayed me.”

         “By not selling you drugs? That’s ridiculous, Sam. She’s your friend-”

         “Was.”

         “Was, but that’s childish.”

         “I mean who even does that; disappears for a week and then comes back acting all high and mighty. The bitch probably was high and how did she even know where I was. She knew me too well anyway, like come on. I thought she was quality, no she wasn't, not at all,” she was getting breathless, “And Franzie ran and consoled her. I know what side she’s on; and-”

         “Sam, stop you’re making a scene and Franzie was doing what she should have. Listen just move on and don’t think about it. Allie knows dangerous people.”

         “Like who, Strobe? I know everyone Allie knows and all those scumbags were pretty low.”

         “Just... some people said Allie hung out with Kent and-”

         “Kent? Like the dealer, I mean I know he’s pretty big but he isn’t anything. Ya’ know what Strobe, stop trying to make me feel bad. You are so painfully empathetic sometimes.”

         “Sam, I just hope you didn’t fight Allie because of the X.”

Sam stopped walking with Strobe. “You think I’m that petty! No, I’m not hungry anymore! Have fun eating alone tonight. I’m going home.”

“Sorry Sam, I didn’t mean to-! Fine!” Strobe said throwing his hands up.



Sam went to Franzie’s apartment and knocked on the door, rhythmically and with slight force, like always. The door swayed open revealing Franzie and the group of dogs behind her. She welcomed her in and turned on her coffee machine.

Sam examined Franzie’s apartment while sitting on a soft couch, turning her head slowly, taking in each aspect of it with a touch of awe, the walls slightly covered with posters, a framed picture with four legs attached to the back which Franzie used as a coffee table, a hollow TV turned into a fish tank, a half naked woman passed out on a chair, and, of course, the four dogs. Franzie came back with a cup of coffee and a bottle of vodka and asked, “Did you light candles last night?”

“Of course. It’s become a habit. I like it though; it fills a void.” Franzie poured some vodka in her coffee and passed the bottle to Sam. Sam drank it straight from the bottle. “Do you have any Bailey’s?” Franzie shook her head. Sam looked at the quartet of dogs and started cuddling the two pups. Franzie was a dog breeder and the two pups Sam was playing with were the newest litter; originally, there were three pups but one died right after it was born. Franzie told Sam that it was the most beautiful pup she had ever seen, too. It had been black on the left side, white one the right, and when it died, it was facing the balcony and the cityscape, like it knew what was happening and knew what would happen. The other puppies were just white and some of the healthiest Franzie ever had.

Sam was extremely empathetic towards dogs, but she used to hate them. The day she ran away from home in New England she hit a dog while driving on a mountainous road. She went to get out of the car and saw it laying there and choked a sob. While she was on the side of the road, a truck came around the curve and struck her car. The car slid forward and it hit Sam, breaking her hip and lower ribs, her body falling on the dog. She was taken to a hospital where they discovered she was an addict; so her extremely rich parents paid for her to go to a rehab clinic in a desert.

Sam didn’t stay long at the clinic before leaving. On her drive out she saw a cottage with one facing a desert and the other a mountain and she wished she could live there one day. Then she drove off.

Franzie’s phone rang, “Hello, yes. Hey K-.” She looked up at Sam worriedly. “One sec, sir. Sam you need to get o- leave. I have, um, a customer coming to check the pups. Yeah, so leave. I will call you tomorrow night.” 

Sam left taking another sip of vodka before patting the momma dog on the head, “Maybe one day we will have a little more in common, momma pup.”



         Sam stared in the mirror, examining her wavy brown hair and eyes, the two cigarette burns on her chin, her pointy cheekbones and protruding collar bones, and the an uninspired tattoo. She stared at the mirror longingly and then laughed. She was tripping and the waves of catharsis were rippling through her. She began to dance without rhythm or balance and fell over onto a wooden side table causing her to laugh more. She began to dance more and dance violently, her body spasming to an imaginary tune, writhing as if attempting to entice an intrigued onlooker, not someone like Strobe, though, someone that is an enigma.

         Sam sat down and started talking, “Horse! Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in weeks! Where have you been?” Silence. “I get you, man. Listen Horse like you are my bestest friend and-” Silence. “No, I’m fine its just, you know, life was a little rough. Hey Horse, you are my friend? Right?” Silence. “Sorry, I just don’t think people like me anymore, I did something dumb and- you don’t need to know. It doesn’t matter.” Silence. “Horse, I don’t get it. I just want a friend or a family. Actually, I think I want a baby but I hate parents, so…” Silence.

         Sam started laughing, clenching her side, unable to hold back the obnoxious snorts. “Listen, Horse, I want to you show you something.” She stood up, still giggling and waltzed into her bedroom. She then waltzed to the closet and opened it up, sitting on her knees to reach a small safe on the floor. “I got this from my uncle’s inheritance money.” She said as she twisted the dial. The safe opened, revealing a collection of drawings and a single baggie with a collection of different drugs. Sam gingerly removed the drawings. “I made these when I was a kid, and I just think they’re so cool.” She held them, occasionally taking the front drawing and putting in the back, like a businessman during a presentation. 

         As she flipped through the drawings she went on to say, “You know what Horse, I messed up,” Sam began to cry, “Allie was my friend. My best friend and I threw it away.” She dropped the drawings and squatted, hugging her knees, hyperventilating. “I wish I was like you Horse, you’re so happy and have so many friends. You know what you want, but all I can do is trip and complain. Allie probably hates me but, Horse, you love me.” Silence. “Sorry Horse I didn’t mean to be sad. I’ll see you later I guess.”

         Sam stretched out on top of her drawings and fell asleep quickly, letting them cover her as much as she covered them.



         Sam awoke not how or where she expected, in a desert bound at her hands and ankles and gagged, laying on her side above hard sand, staring at a beautiful mountain range in the distance, resembling an intimidating giant in the dark. Behind her was a man smoking a cigarette, leaning against a black car, turned away from the mountain, leaning tiredly. He heard Sam awake and turned to face her back so that all three faced the mountain. A cloud thundered in the infinite sea that was the desert..

         He walked in front of Sam whom soon realized her captor. Kent. “That was a real long haul Sam. I’m surprised you just woke up.” He took a draw from his cigarette. His clothing made him appear ominous and commanding, a black coat with black gloves, accentuated with black track pants. His face was tired and defeated looking, though; massive empty bags under his eyes, greasy hair, pale and oily skin, and his red eyes, all made him look like a failed boxer.

         “Listen, I didn’t want to have to do this, neither did Allie. Oh, sorry, Allie’s been with me this past week. She’s nice you know; a really deep person.” Sam started crying and whimpering but the gag covered most of the noise. “This isn’t personal, and I know you thinking we’re here because you beat the shit out a’ Allie, my girl, but it’s really not. I mean beating people’s still not great, but you know what I mean.” Another draw from his cigarette. “You see, your other half, his club’s been stealin’ business, and I just got good connections and now I’m turnin’ myself into somethin’. He’s got a whole underworld there, well you know. Sometimes I’d sneak in there a poke around, like some spy shit all disguised and stuff. I’d see the layout of the building, but sometimes I’d see you an’ Strobe yuckin’ it up. You two are the happiest people I’ve ever seen in a club.” Sam started throwing herself around to try to get out of her bindings.

         “Stop it will ya’! Just wanna chat, okay. So… you’re here because you would know too much. Your friend, Franzie, I been buying out her dogs for a while, training them and the like. Very soon, I’m gonna release them onto the club when it’s packed. It’ll be a bloodfest so the pigs will gotta come. They’ll do a search of the club and find all the shit they got goin’ on and they’ll shut it down. Simple really.” He took a last draw and threw the cigarette on the ground; behind him, the rain was visible in the distance.  Sam gave up squirming.

         “I got somethin’ for you.” He went into his trunk and pulled out a shopping bag and tossed it by Sam. “In the bag there are a couple dozen candles, some matches, and a tab of acid. Allie told me about your little thing with the candles, ya’ know, how many dogs is how many candles. Little respect for ya’.” He walked over and undid her gag and bindings quickly, then back to his car to open the door. “Sam, I’m sorry, Allie liked you and I think we mighta been good friends. You’re a cool cat. Thanks for the chat, sometimes we just need friends, ya’ know.” He said sincerely. He got halfway in his car, right down the middle of his body, and looked towards the mountain one last time. “I guess we are all destined for different things. Bye, Sam.”  He muttered slowly.

         He drove off into the distance, leaving Sam alone and sobbing. She looked at her gifts and then at the approaching storm. She lit all the candles and placed them in a large oval shape, and then she removed all her clothing and laid in the center of the circle of candles. She reached for the baggie of acid, opened it, and knocked back the tab. As the drug took effect and the storm approached, the only thing Sam could think of was I hope the rain might give me a child.