Just Like A Rose (Excerpt)

                                          CHAPTER 7: GOOD-BYES ARE THE HARDEST

        It was early Monday morning. I was downstairs eating a bowl of Fruit Loops cereal for breakfast. Mom was getting ready to head out for work. She was a full-time secretary at a local law firm. “I love you sweetie, see you when I get home. Stay out of trouble!” mom yelled as she rushed out the door. I guess she was running late, which wasn’t unusual for her. “I love you too, mom!” I replied with my mouth full of cereal. I had no intentions of telling my parents about Danny. They did not want me to have anything to do with him. They only wanted me to forgive him and then let him go. But, I wasn’t meeting with Danny to make anyone else happy. I was meeting with him for my own reasons. I needed some closure. I really hoped that today I would get some. Nellie called me to “wish me luck.” She said that if I needed anything, she would be there for me. But, somehow, I knew that everything was going to be okay.

            It was almost noon and I had just gotten out of the shower. I got dressed and with my hair still somewhat wet, I headed out the door. Dad had gotten a ride to work from a co-worker named Dave. Dave lived on the same block as we did and sometimes gave dad rides when they worked on the same days. So, I had the luxury of driving today. Mom had taken our SUV to work. As I pulled up into the Starbucks parking lot in my silver Honda, I couldn’t help but notice the Taylor Swift song playing on the radio. It was her song “I knew You Were Trouble.” What a coincidence, I thought to myself. I walked in and ordered a Caramel Latte with extra whip cream and sat down at a table near a window. I really hoped that Danny would actually show up today because I wanted to see him deep down inside. But, only so that I could yell at him. Again. Just as I took a sip of my Latte, in walked Danny. He skimmed the coffee shop with his beautiful dark eyes and when he located where I was sitting, he immediately rushed over, smiling. “Hey Tay!” he said as he brushed my hair gently with his hand.

“Hey Dan.” I had to admit, he looked amazing. He was wearing black, loose-fitting jeans, a Beatle’s t-shirt, and some loafers. He still had the same haircut. And the same pretty, dark, brown eyes. My stomach was in knots as he sat down. I got a whiff of his cologne. It was CK One by Calvin Klein. The one he always wore. “How are you?” he asked.

“I’m ok…just…living life.” I shrugged.

“That’s great, I’m proud of you….for graduating. You made it” he said.

“Thank you” I replied, smiling. But, what did he mean by I made it? Didn’t he graduate too? “What about you, didn’t you graduate?”

“Well, that’s kind of a long story, but …not really” he answered.

“What happened?” My eyes got a little bit wider.

“When my parents moved me to Washington with them, I got really…well…I got depressed Tay” he answered, running his fingers through his hair. “I went through a hard time adjusting to the move away from everything and everyone I had grown so close to. Including you.”

“Wow, I’m sorry so sorry to hear that Dan. I had no idea” I said.

“Yeah, it was a tough time for me. But, I was able to deal with my anxiety and my depression through a lot of counseling and the support of my parents and my aunt and uncle who live here in Ohio” he finished. I was shocked. He didn’t graduate high school. I had no idea how to feel. I couldn’t imagine somebody so full of life like Danny going through something as dark and scary as depression. “So, what are you doing now?” I asked.

“Well… my uncle is helping me to study for the GED test and then I’ll probably take it in a few months. I’m just here discussing with my aunt and uncle when I’ll be able to move back to Ohio” he answered.

“Really?” I said. “You’re coming back?!”

“Yeah, I’ll be back, Taylor. Probably sometime in July.”

“Wow, that should be great for you Dan. You’ll get to see all your old friends again. At least before they all leave for college” I replied.

“Yeah, I know. I’m pretty happy that we’ll all get to hang out again.”

I smiled. “I’m glad you’re ok Danny. I honestly wanted to yell at you, but after what you’ve been through, it’s not on my agenda anymore” I said, playfully. He laughed. And, then, he took my hands. “I still love you, Taylor. I never stopped.” He was looking straight into my eyes and he melted my heart. “I wanted to see you to give you this” he said. He handed me a plain black box. “Oh, Danny you didn’t have to…” I started to say.

“Taylor, just open it. Please?”

“Ok….I’ll open it.” As soon as I opened the little box, inside of it was a beautiful gold chained locket. “This is beautiful Dan.” I knew I was about to cry, but I was holding back the tears. I didn’t want to let my guard down just yet.

“Look inside” he insisted.

I opened the locket and there was a picture of Dan and I together. It was the picture that Nellie had taken of us after one of our school dances. I absolutely loved it. “Dan, this is so sweet. I can’t believe that you did this for me” I said puzzled.

“How did you…..” I started to say when he interrupted me for the second time.

“I was planning on giving it to you for our 4 month anniversary. But, I never got the chance. Of course, it was my fault and I’m really very sorry Taylor Anne.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I just hoped and prayed they would not start falling.

“It’s really beautiful Danny, but I should tell you…I’m sort of with somebody right now” I said.

“Oh…well….that’s cool…I still want you to have the locket. It belongs to you.” He shrugged his shoulders. I couldn’t help but want to wrap my arms around him and tell him that it was all okay. But, I had moved on…with Steven. And I was very happy. I could tell that I had crushed his heart a little bit. But, he deserved to know the truth . So, I told him all about Steven. “Lucky guy” Danny said, smiling.

“Aww thanks Dan” I replied. “He’s really great, but he’ll be leaving soon for the summer” I continued.

“Well, I’m not sure if he should let you out of his sight for that long.”

“Oh, really?!” I replied, laughing. It felt good to laugh again, with Danny.

“I’m just stating the obvious. You’re a very beautiful girl Tay.”

“You’re not so bad yourself Dan” I said with a smile. For the next couple of hours, Danny and I filled each other in on what had happened in the last four years of our lives. I even told him about Paris and he told me about a girl he was dating for about 2 years in Washington. They broke up because he just wasn’t in love.

“But, you stayed with her for two years Dan. That’s quite a long time” I said.

“Yeah…I was lonely and I needed someone to distract me” he said.

“From what?” I asked.

“From you. I needed a distraction from you.”

“Oh, I see…that makes sense then” I said, smiling playfully. “Too bad for her” I continued.

“She’ll be alright, she found somebody” he replied.

“That was fast” I said, shockingly.

“Yeah, well apparently she had been cheating on me for an entire year with her trainer. She works out a lot.”

“Guess she really liked her trainer huh?” We both laughed.

“I guess so” Danny said. This was the Danny I knew. He found the bright side of things that weren’t so bright at all. And, for a second, I loved him again. “Oh, my gosh, it’s 3:00 already” I said, getting up from our table. “I have to go get ready for work or I’ll be late.”

“Sure, no problem Tay. Let me walk you to your car” Danny suggested.

“Ok, sure” I said. As I unlocked my car door, Danny spoke.

“Taylor?” he asked.

“Yes, Danny?”

“Will you let me kiss you good-bye? On the cheek I mean.” I felt my cheeks turning red.

“Sure, yeah….I guess that’s ok” I replied. So, he did. His lips were as soft as I’d remembered them to be. “I hope your happy…..you know with….what’s his name.”

“Steven” I replied smiling. “His name is Steven.”

Danny put his hands in his pockets and said “Oh, yeah….Steven.”

“Thanks for the locket” I said.

“You’re welcome Tay, call me anytime, ever for anything. Don’t forget about me” Danny said in reply.

“I won’t Danny, I won’t.” I playfully punched him in the stomach. He smiled.

“See you around” he said.

“See you around” I replied.

                I couldn’t believe that it was over. I had met with Danny. And, it wasn’t too bad. It was fulfilling actually. I drove home and the tears that I was fighting in the coffee shop were building up again. I put in a mix CD and skipped to number five. It was “That’s What You Get” by Paramore. The lyrics said that’s what you get when you let your heart win. And, I knew I shouldn’t have let my guard down with Danny before. His reputation wasn’t all too great. But, I did. I let my heart fall in love with him way too fast and I got burned in the end. And, it hurt pretty bad. I made a decision at that moment, to never let myself fall in love again. Not even with Steven. I got home and got dressed for work. I texted Nellie and let her know that I’d fill her in later. She was relieved and said she would come over in the afternoon the next day so we could talk.

                          I went to work and it was the longest shift I’d ever had. So many thoughts were swimming inside of my head. I came home around 10:30 PM exhausted from serving pizzas and cokes all night. But, I had also made $50.00 in tips so I was pretty excited. I think the Universe was giving back to me for my kindness towards Danny. I believed in God. I think. So, I would like to say that He was proud of me and my forgiving heart. I could tell that Dan really needed forgiveness. However, I don’t think that he needed forgiveness from me. I think what he really needed was to finally forgive himself. I knew he would be okay. I was proud of him for making it through such a terrible time in his life. I knew how he felt. The thought of leaving everything behind and everyone you know is a scary one. The next day, Nellie and I went to the park. We sat and had lunch at a picnic table and I told her everything that happened with Danny.

“So, he’s moving back?” Nellie asked.

“Yes. He said he’s going to live with his aunt and uncle” I replied. “At least he’s getting his GED” I continued.

“Yeah, no kidding. I mean, look at me, I can’t really judge anybody for being a high school drop- out. I almost was one too” Nellie said with sympathy in her voice. “I got pregnant at a party by a guy that doesn’t even live in our state. Or care about me for that matter. Or his future child” Nellie said. She was getting angry.

“Nell, you’ve got me and your family. And Steven. We’re all here to help you” I said.

“Thank you Tay, I know” she said smiling. “And speaking of Steven… does he even know about all of this?” Nellie questioned.

“Nope. Haven’t told him anything yet” I replied.

“Do you plan on it?” Nellie asked.

“Yeah! Of course I do. I should, it’s only fair.”

Steven was leaving for camp next week and I could not believe that he would be gone for the entire summer.

“Good luck with that” Nellie said, touching her baby belly and smiling.

“Thanks, Nell” I said. “I’ll need it” I continued.

        The next week flew by. Nellie and I spent our days going to the lake or watching reality TV and pigging out. In the evenings, Steven and I would catch a movie or just hang out at my house and watch the stars in the backyard. I waited until Sunday evening to tell him all about Danny. “Wow, Taylor, perfect timing, you know I’m leaving tomorrow so I don’t even have time to be mad at you” Steven replied.

“I know, I just wanted to be honest. Because, well, I’d expect the same from you” I said.

“I guess so” replied Steven. I could tell he wasn’t too happy about it. Why would he be? But, I had to go so that I could know that Danny and I ended things on good terms. “I just want what’s best for you, Tay. And I don’t think he’s the right guy” Steven replied. He was looking into my eyes. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

“Of course he isn’t” I replied.

“You are” I continued. Both Steven and I’s families knew that we were finally a couple. And, they were thrilled. My mom even said it was about time. We seemed perfect for each other. I knew he’d be the Prince Charming I was searching for. Or maybe hiding from. Either way, I knew that Steven was right for me. Even if I wasn’t ready to completely fall in love again. “Taylor, I want to say that I’m your perfect match. But, let’s be realistic” Steven said.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll be gone for the whole summer. And, I don’t want to hold you back from doing everything that you want to do in life. That includes falling in love, if that should happen...”

“But, Stevie I love you.”

“Yeah, Taylor, I know. I love you too. But, what we have is a different kind of love. It’s the kind that you can’t really explain. It’s just there. And you don’t really know how to separate yourself from it because you’re afraid of finding something that’s even better” Steven replied.

“I can’t believe you’re saying that right now” I said, angrily. “We’ve been best friends for the last…” I started to say when Steven interrupted me.

“That’s just it, we’ve been best friends. And I think that’s how it should stay. I’ve had such an amazing time with you Taylor, but I don’t want to lose what we have. So, let’s stay best friends” he finished. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I wrapped my arms around Steven. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. But, deep down, I knew that he was right. The friendship we shared was more important than anything. And dating just seemed like it would get in the way if anything went wrong with us. I agreed with him. I knew this was the best thing for both us. However, I didn’t want to admit it. And, the next day, it was finally time for Steven to leave. I hated to say good-bye. Especially since I knew I would be leaving for Paris soon. Good-byes are always the hardest.