An open door

When one door closes, another opens. It’s said often enough and we hear and nod our heads but these words are nothing more than a phrase; an uttering that is uttered by others who are as utterly scared and confused as ourselves. But this expression means so much. This collection of 6 words, 29 letters, encompasses a myriad of philosophies, religions, theories, ideas. This idiom represents all that is. Birth and death, day and night, summer and winter, manic and depressed, the life cycle, the earth, the stars, the belief in reincarnation, rebirth, relationships, restarting, it goes on and on and on. And to think of it in this light, to think that so few words could mean so much, could have so much power, could only help to make us even more scared and confused than before if we allow it. We must know that everything will be given a chance to try again. We must embrace the opening door and we must step through.

I open my eyes around 5:30 drowning in my own sweat. Throwing the covers off my naked body, I yell aloud. I have been having a nightmare. I was trapped in a stygian darkness, floating in a limbo of sorts and I felt more alone than I ever had. Now, I only feel slightly less so. It’s my birthday, I recall, having never truly forgotten. I position sit myself up and look in the mirror. I do not look unlike a Cro-Magnon emerging from his shelter. I clear my throat, furthering the comparison to my ancestral look alike. Next I yawn, though I know there is no going back to sleep at this point. I also know I can’t lie in bed all day either. It’s my birthday and I feel a responsibility to do something for myself. With this in mind I manage to hoist myself off of my mattress and thrust myself into the cold world of the living.