daddy

“ Have you lost your mind?” he said to her again to her, as she just sat there trying not to feel. He was ecstatic that he got to yell at her one more time. She didn’t care the words couldn’t damage her anymore. She had be gone to long to far and out of his reach. He never understood that she never would yell back no matter how bad she wanted to. All these broken conversations they thought they’d never have. She zoned out his cussing, and wondered into a dream, when I was little I’d never thought this would be my life I never thought this would be him. He just loved to yell at her now, and she just loved to her those words sometimes to carry on her sorrow on days where she had nothing to be down about she would just give him a reason to be mad at her, she loved it as much as he did too. “Was it wrong?” she asked choking on every syllable, dwelling on the hidden waterfall in her eyes. “Was it wrong?! Was it?! IT WAS ONLY A LITTLE.” He yelled in her face less then 5 centimeters away she’d never thought it would be this bad. Her face flowed with the glow of a candy apple red flashing car speeding down the highway catching a cops eye, except she never caught anyone’s eye, but her dads and that’s only when she made him do so. She thought to her self was it my fault? Why is my life so bad like this? It’s all my fault? I have lost my mind; it’s been gone awhile. Then she realized and shouted, “ I have lost my mind dad! I have! Its been gone a while, I don’t have any memory of it, I don’t even know if I ever had one.” And slowly he sits down head in his hand he just says “ I know I don’t where I lost you, I don’t know what to do but yell at you and try to drill it in your head I should have done better when you where younger and now I’m just a horrible father I’ve failed you, I’m sorry.” So they just sit there trying not to make I contact as she just says “ I’ll go now I’m sorry I’ve failed you as a daughter.” So she goes and she washes the dishes.