The feelings of ambivalence after the game deciding the victors. |
The Packers Fleece Jessica Marie As I look up to the ivory ceiling while steam gathers around me— I feel this sense of ambivalence of that fateful November night, so hazy to the mind that I can’t remember if it was cold, but it must because in the last moment of consciousness, this is where the dread fills me; “Oh the Packers! Such a stupid jacket! I should hate you! I should leave you here, leave you here to rot in this bar, the Seahawks, man, they’re my team! You’re just an idiot!” I look down at my beautiful Packers fleece, an emerald green and I take the last shot of Fireball and one of Jack, before I make the phone call, at least I thought I called; not sure if it’s cold, but I don’t realize the confusion of what just happened, why he got so mad at me and starting screaming and dragging me, I didn’t mean this, I didn’t want this. Yet, in this sadness, here I am three months later, but, there are truly amazing stories of strength from Coleman, Sherman and Wilson, yet in this moment of ambivalence, I want to cry, I want to be happy for the legally deaf Coleman, but this bad memory and feeling flood me as they lift the Lombardi, I wonder what he, that monster, is doing for the Super Bowl. |