One of the worst things to wake up to in the morning was the face
of someone you had never met sleeping in the same bed as you. The
second worst thing was knowing that person. It was becoming less
shocking every day but somehow it still managed to make his fuzzy
brain panic every morning.
"Jesus Cas, I told you not to sleep in my bed!" Dean
complained one morning as he grabbed his small bag of toiletries from
his duffel. Castiel was sitting on the bed that Dean had just exited,
wiping the sleep from his eyes. He scratched his scruff and opened
his eyes before addressing Dean.
"Sam was covering hid whole bed. I could not fit on it." He
explained and Dean closed his eyes before turning to the bathroom.
"You shouldn't sleep with him either Cas." He explained and
Cas fixed a confused gaze on Dean's back as he began to brush his
teeth.
"Where should I sleep then? You two insist on only getting one
room and each room only has two beds." Cas said pointedly and Dean
sent him a look before spitting into the sink.
"The one who comes through the door last has to sleep on the
floor. We made that a rule when you decided to join us Cas." He
explained and continued brushing his teeth. Castiel looked down at
the bed, not knowing how to reply. The door opened to the motel room
and a sweaty, breathless Sam walked through. He wiped his forehead
with the towel hanging around his neck and took the ear buds from his
ears before looking over at Cas.
"Morning." He huffed with a nod and Cas looked up at him with
an innocent look.
"Good morning Sam." He greeted back and got up from the bed.
"What will we be doing today? There aren't any cases in the paper
or online, are there?" Castiel asked Sam as he walked over to his
newly adopted duffel. Sam huffed behind him and ruffled his hair.
"I checked this morning before I left and nothing came up. We
can probably head back to the bunker now that our job here is done."
He explained and Dean's head popped out of the bathroom, the
toothpaste and toothbrush gone.
"Hell yeah, that means I can sleep in a comfortable bed again."
He said before his head disappeared. Castiel pulled a T-shirt out of
his bag and tossed it onto the bed across from him before bending
back down and looking for a pair of cleaner pants.
"The drive back is gonna be long probably a good day and a
half." At Sam's statement Dean groaned from the bathroom walking
out. He was not only fully dressed but his hair was spiked at the
top. He had probably wet his head in the sink. Castiel tried not to
stare, knowing full well how it affected him when he began noticing
people's stares, but his blues were brought back to the water
dripping down the brunettes forehead. He blindly grabbed a pair of
pants and turned away before Dean noticed.
"We'll have to stop at another motel." Dean complained making
a sour face. Sam smiled at him with an expression that clearly said
'don't bitch, it's ur fault' before he started walking to the
bathroom, his duffel in his hand. Castiel noticed this and wanted to
protest. It was his turn to change in the bathroom just like it
always was now, but he kept his mouth shut and just ran his hand over
the back of his neck before he yawned. Dean glanced at him before
smirking and going back to his duffel bag.
"You're never gonna get used to cheap beds, are you Cas?" He
asked and Castiel hummed in agreement before he grabbed the hem of
his shirt.
"I just need coffee." Castiel mumbled before pulling his shirt
over his head. His hair became even more ruffled from it.
Bed head always looked good on the ex-angel, but it was never
acknowledged. Although a waitress in a small diner outside of Austin
had told the Angel turned human that he looked like an incredibly
naughty boy. He had been waiting for Dean and Sam inside while they
parked the Impala, telling Cas to get himself coffee since he had
been especially crabby that morning, and a nice woman came up to him.
She was a fairly attractive woman with caramel colored eyes and a
fiery orange bun on top of her head. She had soft features with a
button nose and average lips; not too full and not too thin. Cas
didn't seem particularly interested but she had walked up with a
order pad and a pen, a cheery smile on her face. She had asked him
what he wanted and when he had said 'just black coffee, thanks.' her
smile had turned into a little smirk and she had bent real close to
whisper the compliment in his ear. Of course Cas still wasn't used to
being flirted with and he had just looked at her with a confused look
and stated 'I can assure you I have done many bad things, but none of
them have ever been for tainted reasons.' and well. She had left with
a shit eating grin and Castiel had to explain, not only the
experience, but why he had a phone number on his palm.
"Hurry up Sammy! I want to get on the road!" Dean called as
Castiel slipped on his shirt and started stripping his sweats. Dean
looked over at him and coughed uncomfortably. "Come on man, we have
a bathroom for that." He said and Castiel looked at him pointedly.
"Seeing as you are in such a hurry to get to the bunker and Sam
is using the bathroom I thought it was best to change now instead of
wasting time waiting around for the bathroom to be vacated."
Castiel said gruffly and bent down to pull on his pants.
His back turned and Dean saw the healing scars on Castiel's
shoulder blades. His jaw tightened and he wiped a hand on his face as
he remembered the first time he saw Cas after the fall. He didn't
understand how the ex-angel had found the bunker, or even how he had
survived as long as he did without food or a proper place for warmth,
but Dean had opened the door one morning as he was going out for
groceries and found Castiel collapsed at the bottom of the stairs to
the entrance. His clothes were in tatters, he had somehow lost his
coat - which honestly made Dean a little sad because he liked that
coat - and his hair was longer than it had been before. It had been
a month since all of the angels fell and though Dean had wanted to go
look for Castiel, Sam was in no condition to be left by himself. The
first time he saw the wounds on Castiel's back they weren't
honestly wounds. They were only newly forming scars but they were
incredibly red and inflamed.
Castiel hadn't handled himself well the first time he woke up in
the bunker. He had been asleep for nearly a week and during that time
the boys were worried that he wouldn't wake up. Sam had even
suggested that they take him to the hospital, but Dean didn't think
it was a good idea to be taking a mentally unstable ex-angel into a
place where they could easily admit him to the hospital. Especially
when they didn't know how he was doing mentally themselves. So after
a week and two days when Castiel woke up completely and absurdly
vacant of all will to live, they had to keep an eye on him nearly all
the time. Sure they knew that he wouldn't harm himself, he had made
his way all the way to Kansas after all, but they needed to make sure
he wouldn't crack when they weren't looking.
Eventually they started to train him with a gun and all sorts of
tricks to demon hunting and Dean took him out for some local or close
by jobs. Sam still wasn't in the right shape until a year later. He
was back on his feet, out the door and kicking ass like he used to.
But Cas still seemed bothered when they went out on hunts. After a
while Dean noticed that Cas would tense up and after hunts he would
reach back and gently prod his shoulders. When Dean asked about it
Castiel grew quiet and wouldn't meet his eyes. After Dean bothered
him about it Castiel had explained how his scars weren't on the
surface of the skin, but beneath as well. In the muscle, the tissue,
even in the bone. It was as if he really had wings at some point and
had them ripped from his body.
Dean was brought back from his thoughts when Sam came out of the
bathroom fully clothed wiping his damp hair from his face. The dull
ache in his chest was pointedly ignored as he grabbed his duffle.
Castiel had been studying Dean the whole time Dean had been spaced
out and was curious about the many expressions the hunter had made.
He had wanted to ask, but Sam was already walking for the door, his
duffle and laptop in his hands. With a quiet sigh Castiel followed
them to the car. He dumped his bag into the trunk and got into the
back seat quietly. After Dean had returned the key they made it to
the diner without much trouble. Dean had bitched about the food not
being all that good, but Castiel didn't think much food from diners
tasted all that good.
Sam ordered his usual coffee cake and coffee while Dean bought his
usual 'everything shoved onto the same plate at once it has to look
delicious' while Cas just had some pancakes and coffee. The waitress
wasn't attractive at this diner, Cas thought briefly as she took
their order. Then Sam had his attention.
"Are you going shopping when we get back or do you think Kevin
got that already?" Sam asked Dean and Castiel perked up at this.
"Kevin told me that he was going out to shop when Charlie came
by. They were going to stop by a TV shop and see if they could get
the old black and white TV fixed." He explained and Sam took a sip
of his coffee as Dean pointed his fork at him.
"You don't think they were gonna sell it to get a HD screen were
they?" Dean asked. Sam frowned at him and Castiel shook his head.
"Kevin promised that he wouldn't let Charlie buy a new TV."
Castiel said and Sam laughed sipping his coffee.
"She'd probably hook up a gaming console and make it a 3D HD TV
instead." He said and Cas gave a small smile.
"Knowing Charlie, yes that is possible." Castiel agreed before
sipping his own coffee. After they had finished their breakfast they
continued on their way home. Most of the conversation that went over
in the car was between Sam and Castiel. It was mostly over history
and the customs of the American laws - something which Dean
wouldn't touch with a five foot pole - but they did change it to
cars after a little while. Which did give Dean the chance to join
into their conversation. By the time they got back to the bunker all
of them were cranky and even the sight of Charlie and Kevin playing
the Legend of Zelda on a new pair of DS's couldn't really lighten
their moods.
"I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when it's time for dinner."
Sam said and Dean didn't even say anything.
He just watches Sam walked down the hall and up the stairs to his
room. Charlie chuckled but said nothing as she continued playing.
Castiel sent Dean a tired smile and motioned his head for the other
to follow. When they managed to get to the study Castiel felt
something brush up against his leg before he heard a small high
pitched noise. He bent down slowly and when he straightened he was
holding a small tan colored kitten with a dark brown face, tail and
ears. It's bright greenish-blue eyes were currently looking at Dean
with a cute innocence that the man couldn't help but find endearing.
From down the hall Charlie's voice carried and the kitten's head
whipped around, clearly startled. Sometimes Dean wondered why Castiel
had adopted the skittish kitten, but somehow Dean thought it matched
how Castiel used to be. He was unknown with a lot of things. Sure, he
could fight off demons and other supernatural creatures with his
angel blade, but he didn't know how to operate a gun, or do most
human things such as shave or brush his teeth correctly. He was edgy
and skittish the first few months he was here, not sure where
boundaries were with the Winchesters were or if Kevin even liked him.
Charlie has welcomed him with open arms, fawning over the "baby in
a trench coat" as she had reminded him of Dean's words. She had
taught him the basics of a computer, how to search the web, and when
those were memorized she taught him other things about the computer.
She still wouldn't teach him how to hack things. With time the kitten
would learn the comfort of the bunker and what to be afraid of and
what not to, just like Castiel had.
Carrying the kitten with him, Castiel entered the library. Dean
followed behind and they both sat down in arm chairs, quiet for a few
moments before Cas spoke.
"Are we ever going to fix this?" He asked, the pain clear in
his voice. Dean knew what he was talking about. He never mentioned
the situation other than asking if it would ever be resolved. The
three men always edged around saying the words 'angels fallen from
heaven' because of the affect it had on Castiel. Every day they
searched for lore, or fiction in books and yet, they hadn't found
more than a few whispers in the wind. Dean looked at Castiel's face,
feeling the pity knot in his gut. For a moment he only watched the
kitten curl up in Castiel's lap, purring away as if he hadn't a care
in the world before he answered.
"I don't know Cas. We haven't heard anything about it for a
while. Hell is completely silent and we have no news about Metatron."
He explained and even the name he had spoken left a simmer of agony
in Castiel's eyes. "We'll fix this Cas. We've stopped the
apocalypse and ganked every monster we can think of. We can fix
this." He reassured the former angel as he wrung his hands on the
arm rests. Castiel's shoulders slumped a little but he looked up at
Dean with a sad smile.
"I believe in you and Sam, Dean." He said nothing more as he
turned his head down and looked at the kitten again. Dean felt that
guilt and pity curl in his stomach even more. After all that Castiel
went through, all the things he thought he was doing for the
greater-good; he had fucked up royally and in the worst way possible.
"How are your shoulders today?" Dean asked as he saw Castiel
shift a bit in his chair. The kitten let out an obnoxious purr but
stayed where he was. Castiel looked up at Dean's words but couldn't
hold his stare. He found the arm of his seat far more interesting at
that moment.
"They are... rather sore tonight... More so, than usual." He
mumbled and Dean closed his eyes for a short moment as he collected
his thoughts. When he opened them again Castiel was playing with the
kitten.
"Stay there. I'll be back." Dean commanded as he lifted
himself from the chair. Castiel looked up a little surprised by the
command but stayed where he was.
Dean exited the library, closing the door behind him as he went,
and making his way yo the kitchen. He couldn't do much for the pain
in Cas' back seeing as the pain went all the way down to his bones,
but he could at least make sure the skin and muscle were soothed.
Picking a first aid kit out from under the kitchen sink, Dean
extracted some muscle rub from the tin box and replaced it. When he
entered the library again Castiel had the kitten on its back in his
lap and was watching it bat at a piece of string he had gotten from a
small basket in the table. The kitten was playing with it so
animatedly it looked like he was going to fall off Castiel's lap. The
other man looked up when Dean entered the room.
"Where did you go?" Castiel asked as he set the string on his
lap. The kitten dug its claws into his leg and with a wince he
extracted the feline and set it on the floor. Dean watched the kitten
paw at Castiel's pant leg as he held up the tube of muscle rub.
"This should work for a while." He explained and when Castiel
looked like he wanted to refuse Dean settled him with a stern look.
"Cas, we haven't tried this yet. It might help." He pleaded
making Cas sigh and begin tugging at his shirt. When it was off Dean
made his way in front of Castiel's chair and twirled his pointer
finger in a gesture meant to tell him to turn around.
"Wouldn't it be beneficial for me to sit in a dining chair
instead of an arm chair?" Castiel asked giving Dean a confused
look. Dean rolled his eyes but didn't move.
"It'll be more comfortable for you to kneel in this chair. Just-
just turn around." He said and after a few more tense moments
Castiel turned around, folding his arms over the back and settling
his chin over them.
Dean twisted the cap off of the bottle and
squeezed some of the rub onto his hand. The smell of mint hit his
nose so hard his eyes watered, but he twisted the cap closed and
rubbed his hands together anyway. The smell wasn't as bad as
fermenting body parts anyway so he could deal with it. After warming
the gel in between his palms he ran them over the scars on Castiel's
back and even a little lower. After a few good rubs to get all the
gel off of his palms he set to work rubbing his muscles in between
the ex-angel's shoulder blades with firm strokes. He thumbs kneaded
into the flesh and Castiel let out a soft breath at the feeling. It
tingled his skin pleasantly and the cool sensation on his heated skin
was welcomed. Dean's fingers were really close to what Castiel would
consider heaven. He groaned when Dean pressed on a particularly
sensitive spot and shuddered when Dean pressed his knuckled into the
spot, kneading the knot away almost immediately.
"You are-" He gasped, his words being cut off when Dean
pressed against a painful part of his scars. It was soothed away when
Dean worked his magic with his thumbs. Castiel continued after a
moment of breathing. "You are very good at this." He said quietly
and Dean hummed, not wanting to explain himself. When Castiel
realized Dean had no intention of continuing the conversation he
settled back down on the seat and tried to relax. He didn't have to
try too hard.
Dean smiled a bit when Castiel relaxed against the chair. If he
couldn't do much for the newly human angel, he could at least do
this.
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