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Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Other · #1966418
Waking up talking to yourself
The darkness enveloping Ashley was complete. She felt as if she were floating. She saw something in the distance, but she couldn't make out what it was.
It was so quiet, so peaceful, the closer she got to the object she could see it was a person. Slowly she kept walking, the black abyss swallowing everything around her.
As the other person started to move toward her, she could see it was a woman. The closer she got Ashley realized it was her own image staring back at her.
Ashley stopped, as she stood there watching herself come closer she thought this must surely be the strangest dream she had ever had.
As the image stood in front of her she realized there was a wild, angry look in her cold eyes, she looked as if she had no soul.
"Who are you?" Ashley asked, she felt no fear and she expected no answer after all she thought she was having a nervous breakdown.
"Why Ashley, I am a part of you of course. I have been here all these years protecting you and keeping you safe. But now we are dead and I can't stay I have to go and you dear little Ashley have to go home, I can't keep you anymore."
Ashley shook her head, well of course I'm dead she thought why else would I be standing in the dark talking to myself.
"Well if I'm dead you weren't a very good protector were you?" Ashley eyed the vision and saw the difference, the eyes were black as midnight, and there was nothing behind them.
"Yes, I was a good protector. I took you away when you were little so you wouldn't feel the pain others inflicted on you. I protected your mind and your heart. But now I have to go and you must go home." The image was as cold as frost but instinctively Ashley knew it spoke the truth.
"I'm sorry." She said with downcast eyes. When she looked up the image was far away and she thought she heard a faint whisper.. I love you Ashley.
Ashley opened her eyes immediately recognizing the sights, sounds, and smells of a hospital room. She heard warning alarms start to buzz on her monitors, she could hear voices in the distance but she couldn't move to find the sounds.
A very handsome man leaned over the bed looking into her eyes. He had the most beautiful gray eyes, although they showed surprise and confusion. He had raven black hair that curled around the collar, it looked like silk. His face was perfect, he could have been Michael Angelo's David. Ashley slipped back into the darkness welcoming the peaceful sensation. She sat alone in the darkness, just waiting for the light to pull her back. She couldn't remember anything except the chat she had had with herself.
When she opened her eyes again, it seemed like an eternity had passed. Ashley was back in the hospital. The nurse was just finished checking her blood pressure. Her name tag said she was Sandie. She smiled gently at Ashley.
"Well, welcome back to the living, I have to give the doctor a call and I will call your husband too, they will both be pleased." Sandie retreated from the room humming a tune vaguely familiar.
So Ashley thought, I have a husband, I don't remember a husband. I don't remember much of anything actually, and what the devil am I doing in the hospital? One question led to another and another until her head began to hurt.
After several hours of poking and prodding and every conceivable x-ray known to man she was back in her room sleeping soundly.
With the sensation of being watched, Ashley opened her eyes to see the man with gray eyes intently watching her. He looked as if he were waiting for something. So she smiled at him.
"I saw you yesterday. who are you?" Ashley saw several emotions pass his dark eyes. It bothered her that she didn't know what he was thinking. His silence was making her uncomfortable. As if he read her mind he began to speak.
"I'm Keith Ransom. The doctors tell me you have retrograde amnesia. You really don't remember anything before yesterday?" He finally pulled up a chair to sit beside her relaxing his battle stance.
"No, I only remember talking to myself in the darkness and then I woke up here." Ashley felt lost, not knowing who she was just frustrated her more.
"You were in the dark talking to yourself?" He looked amused but she couldn't be sure, she couldn't read the look on his face.
"um yes, I guess I was dreaming, I was in a dark room and there was someone there who looked like me and told me I was dead. Guess if you are going to dream it might as well be while talking to yourself." She tried to smile. "you told me your name but who are you?"
"I am your husband Ash." He looked at her with the oddest expression.
"Oh." So this was her husband. Strange, but he didn't seem to excited about that fact. As if sensing her thoughts he leaned closer toward her.
"I'm sorry Ashley, it has been a very difficult twelve weeks. We always had a lot of problems, then when you had your accident the press was all over me. I had to go to Washington a few weeks ago and it just added fuel to the fire." He looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks, she reached out to touch his hand in an understanding gesture. He pulled away as if he had been burned.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Those must have been some problems we were having." Ashley searched her brain for any clues but all she found was darkness.
"You took me by surprise that's all. You never touch me. Keith looked into her blue eyes and thought he saw more of her than he ever had before. Was he seeing her for the first time? He had to wonder. This Ashley was nothing like the person he had been living with. He cautiously reached his hand up and she took it.
"What kind of marriage did we have? It couldn't have been very happy for either one of us." She searched his face looking for any kind of clues that would strike her memories.
"Ashley I can't answer all your questions at once, this is very difficult, we probably didn't have ten words to say to each other in the last six months. Slow down, I'll try to answer your questions if you will just be patient with me." Keith was looking at her with a new longing of  hope in his eyes. It had been so long since she had had any faith in him at all that her overwhelming trust shook him to the core.
After a few weeks of intensive therapy Keith brought Ashley home, they had developed quit a friendship over the last few weeks. He seemed to be her only link to the past, he was her lifeline now and she decided she would rather hang on than sink back into the darkness. The house was magnificent. It looked like the pictures of dream homes no real person ever lived in. Keith's laughter brought her out of her stupor.
In a mock southern drawl he said "Well darlin, by the look on your face you reckon I ought to hide the matches? You hate it don't you?" He was grinning from ear to ear. A wonderful smile that made her heart flutter. She laughed over her embarrassment at being found out.
"That obvious huh? Please tell me you don't like living in this museum? Who decorated it the local funeral home? It's so cold and impersonal, I don't think I would ever be happy here." Keith grabbed her hands kissing her fingertips. He had a sparkle in his eyes and he was laughing. Funny but she had never noticed those silver- blue chips in his gray eyes before.
"Well my dearest Ashley, you ordered it this way. It's not much to live in but you can throw great dinner parties, and if the guests are so inclined to throw escargot on the walls it will be next seasons rave."
"Snail surprise?" Ashley busted out laughing. The dizziness took her by surprise, she reached out to grab Keith's arm just as darkness overtook her. The doctors told Keith she may have a few episodes like that for awhile. He picked her up thinking she was as light as a butterfly. He couldn't ever remember hearing a genuine laugh from her as he had today. This new Ashley was sure a mystery.
Ashley was in the darkness again, she could see the image of herself and ran toward it.
"Tell me what happened? Why is Keith so hurt? What did you or me or us do to him?"
She wanted to shake the image and demand answers. Could one touch ones own self and not unravel the spirals of time?
"He never understood. I had to keep it that way, they would have killed him if I didn't oppose him at every turn. Damn you Ashley, I kept him safe for you." Anger emitted from the image. Ashley knew she was really losing it when she began fighting with herself.
"What are you talking about?" Ashley was angry with herself because she couldn't remember anything, and she was stuck in this eerie darkness talking to her own image who wasn't being at all agreeable.
"Some of the people in Washington weren't happy with the way he was making changes. As a new congressman, he had a lot to answer for. When your marriage was announced they came and convinced you that if his personal life wasn't kept in chaos he would be dead. Someone named Raven really wanted this accomplished because soon after their visit your parents unexpectedly were killed in a car crash. In their personal effects from the car was a personal note from Raven expressing his condolences. Recently you told them that you would no longer help them, Keith had asked for a divorce.
Raven sent you a note with his men on the next visit asking if you would die for him, you told him yes. The next thing I can tell you is that I woke up as your car was being pushed over Meyers Point. Gin had been poured all over your beaten body. I won't let you have those memories back Ashley, it is too painful. When the car hit the rocks below I was killed and thrown here into the darkness. I haven't talked to you since you were a little girl when you were abused by your babysitter, I always knew you were here waiting. I will always be a part of you, but now you are the stronger one and I must go. Your memories will eventually return, I must go now Ashley." In nothing but a whisper the image was gone.
Ashley opened her eyes and knew she was snuggled up against Keith. She snuggled a little closer taking more of his heat. Keith tightened his arms around her, pulling her closer.
"Welcome back butterfly. That was a hell of a dream. Want to talk about it?"
"Maybe later. Does this mean I get no snail surprise?" Keith looked down at her giving her a rascals grin that made her heart skip a beat. As she lay in his arms her heart was beating a thunderous pace.
"Well butterfly, tomorrow is your birthday. What can I give you?" Keith's handsome face had such longing and hope in it, she reached up brushing his cheek lightly with her fingertips.
"Am I so very different now, that you love me again? I know you wanted a divorce before the accident. Keith tell me the truth, was it so awful that I still see flashes of anger in your eyes?" Keith noticed the gentle way she was touching his face, his body was reacting in earnest.
"It is the difference between night and day. You have never let me touch you or hold you. Then we would fight and after awhile it didn't matter if we were intimate or not, I didn't care anymore. I have to tell you something before you remember or someone else tells you." Ashley knew by the tone of his voice it was serious, and she probably didn't want to hear it. She lay very still looking into his eyes searching the torment and pain she saw there, knowing she had caused most of it.
"Please understand Ashley, our situation was so very different. I couldn't hardly stay in the same room with you before I wanted to drive you to your knees from the rage inside me. I wanted to make you want me, I wanted to make you want us. You are the most stubborn human being I have ever known and at times it makes me crazy. I had someone else I spent my free time with. She could never be the person I saw in you and I would never leave you to be with her permanently." Keith held his breath waiting for the explosion, but there was only silence. He looked at her beautiful face so close to his own and he saw understanding and compassion in her eyes but he also saw the hurt as a lone tear slipped down her cheek. He reached up catching it with his thumb, when she softly spoke.
"You said had, is it over then?"
"Yes, from the moment you first woke up. Ash, I know God was giving us a second chance. He gave you back to me. I think this may be our chance." He leaned down brushing her lips lightly with his own. It was as if something magical erupted between them. They were both spellbound by this new found connection they suddenly shared.
"Keith I want to start over, no lies, no secrets. When I was in the darkness my image, and I know it sounds crazy, but my image told me things you should know about." Ashley told him all she knew. After she was finished they lay together in silence.
"Well I'm starved, does this place have a kitchen?" She sat up looking around the room. Keith had the oddest look on his face.
"What?" Ashley kicked off her shoes.
"You can't cook, and I know I can't cook." He sat up shaking his head. "Really you can't cook."
"Well, that was the old Ashley and I'm telling you, I can cook." She had such a look of determination on her face that Keith laughed.
"Okay, okay, this is against my better judgment but I will try it." Keith showed her the house ending in the kitchen. She raided the refrigerator and ended up making some breakfast burritos, after his third helping she couldn't help but tease him a little. With her eyes sparkling she laughed.
"Can't cook huh? Better than any snail surprise you've ever had." She saucily tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder. After the kitchen was cleaned Keith showed her to her room and went to his. She went through all the dresser drawers until she found a stunning blue silk nightgown. Slipping it over her naked body she couldn't erase the feel of Keith's arms around her. She knew what she must do. She softly padded down the hallway, her heart thundering in her ears. She paused at the entrance to his dark bedroom, holding her breath she gently whispered, "Keith are you asleep?"
He reached over turning on the dimly lit nightlight and his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't speak, he simply turned back the covers waiting for her to join him. She climbed in next to him, snuggling to his heat.
"I've decided what I want for my birthday." Her eyes were shining like sapphires.
"What would that be Mrs. Ransom?" Keith leaned down gently nuzzling her neck.
"I want you, and I want children." She said in a passionate and raspy voice.


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