Dusk Part 1 (Twilight Hater's Ending)

Bella

I sometimes lay my head to his chest, and feel saddened by the silence. How someone so beautiful, so caring, and genuine, could be so empty, missing something so vital, a beating heart. The symbol of love, dead inside of him.
But then when I rest my hand on my own chest, I feel a part of me is gone, I’m empty, soulless. I knew this was coming when I was asking to be a vampire, but I never realized how it really feels, to never have my heart race again, or flutter, or even be heavy again, and to not have the option to change. I would never tell Edward of these feelings I have, if I did, he’d only blame himself. I asked for this life. I asked for every second of it. There’s too many seconds of it, and an infinite number of more to come.
Sometimes, Renesmee and Edward are enough to make me forget for awhile, and I remember why I did this, why I gave up my mortal soul. The love in his cold touch, and the trust in her still-living eyes.
It’s all wonderful, until the memories of my past life press, like a sad, old photograph, rising from the depths of the murky lake of my haunted and long forgotten feelings. Friends. Family. Education. My life. I gave it all up for for this family. The family I am now a part of. Forever.
Renesmee grabbed my hand from behind me, and the image of Edward painted itself in my head.
I lifted her up and sat her on my side. “Daddy’s out hunting with Grandpa,” I told her. She snuggled into my neck, and I could feel her heartbeat against my chest. She’s only half monster. She still has half of her soul, and her heartbeat is what reminds me of what mine used to feel like. I can only hope she keeps the remains of her humanity. I’d never want her to know the immense sorrow I feel.
Rosalie came into the room and asked if I could use a break from the little one. Renesmee practically jumped from my arms into her aunt’s. I thanked her and walked out, intending on going outside for a run.
I walked out the door and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, and something was weighing me down. I kicked my legs up as hard as I could, throwing my attacker to the railing of the porch, where he caught himself on the rail flawlessly.
“Vampire,” I grunted and lunged forward him. To my surprise, he lunged towards me as well just as my feet left the ground. We caught each other mid-air and fell, him pinning me once again. I almost spat at him, but he rushed his mouth to mine, I instantly recognized the kiss.
“Jacob! Get the hell off of me!”
         He let his lips linger on my chin as he tried to catch his breath. “Hi, Bella,” he said. “You learned how to put up a good fight.”
I laughed a little. “Comes with being a vampire.” He cringed as if I had stabbed him in the heart. Knowing him, I may as well have.
         “What are you doing here? You know you’re not-”
         “Welcome here?” he cut me off.
         “No! No, no, they just...” I tried to find the right words, but then smiled. “Don’t like the smell of wet dog.”
         Keeping my arms pinned under his, he looked up, head tilted like a goofy puppy. “It’s okay, you undead folk don’t smell too good. either.” I jokingly bared my teeth at him, and he just laughed. “You might be a Cullen, you might be a mother, you might even be a blood sucking parasite, but you’re still the Bella I’ve always known.” He laid his head down on my chest. “And loved.”
         I suddenly felt self-conscious of my silent heart. I knew he was listening, but wasn't hearing. The way I always have done with Edward.
         He sighed. “Bella, you really are dead, aren’t you? Your heart isn’t beating, your blood isn’t moving, for God’s sake you can’t even blush, anymore, Bella! I used to love doing that, you know.” He lifted his head to look at me. “Making you blush always made me smile. And now it’s never going to happen again, because you’re dead. You don’t even have your eye color anymore, Bella. You have the same ugly yellow all the vampires have, unless they’re killing something, of course, then their eyes are as black as the coffins they belong in. “ I froze. He’s never spoken about me that way before. He’s always been so kind and forgiving, gentle and protective. And now he’s telling me I belong in a coffin.
         “You know, you used to have the most radiant eyes. I would drive the boys crazy talking about you.”
         “The boys?” I asked, desperately trying to change the subject, “How are they?”
         “I think Sam took them cliff diving, I wasn’t up for it.” he smiled. “Felt like stopping by the friendly, old Cullen’s for a bit.” He looked around, admiring the outside of the beautiful house. “Where are the rest of the leeches?”
         “Hunting.” I answered. “They should be getting back, meaning you should be going.”
         He smirked playfully at me. “What if I don’t want to?”
I kicked up, startling him enough to let go. I seized my opportunity and pushed him with all my might, lunging him to a tree off of the porch, where he caught himself with his hands and slid safely to the ground.
         “You forget I’m stronger now,” I spat with an evil smile. “Stronger than you.”
         He smiled, jumping to climb up the porch. “So this time,” he threw himself from the railing and landed in front of me. “you won’t break your hand when I kiss you?
         I went to answer, but a smooth voice ran over mine.
         “You’re not going to kiss her.”
         Jacob’s smile faded as Edward’s stepped in front of me.
         “What’s stopping me?” Jacob’s answered, being an ass.
         I looked at Edward, who seemed calm, but this his eyebrows shot up, and he looked at me, his expression curious.
         I saw Jake smiling maliciously and instantly knew what he was doing.
         “Jacob, maybe you better leave.” I said, heading towards the door. Jake followed me, not breaking his glare at Edward, who continued to look at me as he walked, studying me, questioning me.
         Jake stayed outside as Edward and I stepped in, lingering by the door.
“Goodbye, Bella. It was nice seeing you. They keep you so cooped up in here all the time, I don’t know how you handle it.” His smart-ass glare turned into a stare down at Edward, who didn’t seem the least bit bothered by it, as he continued to study me.
“Goodbye, Jacob!” “I said angrily as I tried to slam the door in his face, but he
stuck his foot in and opened it slightly.
“One more kiss for the road?” He asked mockingly.
            I froze as Edward took one more step forward. “She’s asked you to leave. I must ask you to go now.”
            Jacob glared at him as he removed his foot slowly. I put both hands on the door and closed it slowly, afraid to turn around and see Edward. I locked the door but still put my pressure on it, as if I was trying to keep something out.
         “He’s not planning on coming backing, Bella.” Edward informed me.
         “Oh,” I said, as if I didn't know that. I turned and leaned my back against the door. “Edward, I-”
         “Bella, if you had second guesses, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked coolly.
“No!” I yelled defensively. “There are no guesses!”
         “Why would you kiss another man, then?” He seemed almost apologetic. “I don’t want you to feel trapped, I told you this before.”
         “Edward, I love you! “I screamed. “I didn’t kiss him, he tackled me to the ground and shoved his filthy mouth to mine! Now, please stop saying that.”
         “I’m sorry, Bella. He just had some very detailed play by plays running through that head of his...”
         “If you trusted me enough, you wouldn't have to read his mind,” I muttered.
         “I do trust you.” he responded, calmly, which angered me more. “I just don’t trust him, especially when I see you in his head.”
         “I’m always on his mind! He loves me! He’s only saved my life a number of times just for you to kill me!”
         He seemed to have a response almost immediately, but he was interrupted by three knocks on the door.
            “Go away!” I screamed.
         I heard a shuffling around, and something like rustling in the lock. I looked up at Edward and backed away from the door as it slowly opened.
         In the door frame stood a blonde, too flawless to be human. She was a little taller than me, much skinnier, and all around gorgeous. She played with a key to the house with her long fingers.
            “Amelia?!” Edward exclaimed, his voice cracking in the middle.
         “Miss me?’ She asked in a luxurious voice. Her lips matched the same blush pink shade as her tight cheeks. Her eyes, seemingly more golden than mine have ever been, were the biggest aspect of her flawless face, even the fact she obviously hasn't bathed in a while didn’t throw off her perfection.
         “Who is this one?” she asked nodding towards me. Edward wouldn't answer, he seemed too awestruck to do anything but stare at the vixen.
            “I’m his wife,” I said coldly. She laughed, and in her cruelly beautiful chuckle, I heard all I needed to know to hate her.
         “Edward, dearest, won’t you introduce me?” she asked smoothly.
         “Yes,” he responded immediately, as if under her spell. “Bella, this is my past-”
         “First,” She corrected him.
         He continued as if never cut off in the first place. “first love, Amelia.” He finished, almost never taking his hungry eyes off of her.