SCARY MOVIE SURVIVAL

Every mistake in life you can learn from. There are many variations of this basic statement that are either very short or very long but if you are ever transported to a scary movie, remembering this might just save your life:

1) If you live in a place or go to a place that is celebrating the anniversary of someone who died there, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!! Anniversary=death.
2) If you're in the house by yourself and hear strange noises coming from upstairs or the basement, don't investigate. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! If you're on the phone with someone, get them to phone the cops and then run.
3) In reference to phone calls, if you're talking to your boyfriend or girlfriend, chances are that you're going to die. If you're talking to Grandma, you're safe.
4) If you discover that there is an urban legend character in town that is pure evil, don't decide to see what the big deal is.
5) Anyone who says that they don't believe in ghosts, the supernatural, paranormal happenings, or believes that there is a scientific explanation for everything, is in for a rude awakening.
6) Disturbing an unmarked grave, reading a spell book, playing with a Ouija board, chanting something in Latin when you don't know the translation, or trying to contact the dead in some other way, will result in something happening: Bad things, very bad things.
7) Battling a creature/person in any form that doesn't die when you hit it with a car, use various types of weaponry, stab it through the heart, or do anything that else that would kill a normal person, is a sign to find the nearest expert. Go to the local museum or the church. The only time these two rules go out the window is when it's a mummy or the church is involved. In this case, find the person in town who everyone is convinced has totally lost their mind: the town drunk or a once respectable person who's fallen from grace. This is their moment.
8) Begging for your life. If something or someone is trying to kill you, they aren't just going to stop and find someone else or have a change of heart.
9) Never split up when you're with a group of people. "If we split into groups, we can cover more ground." If you split into groups, the majority of you will be in the ground.
10) Women who are in the shower/brushing their hair/getting something from the other room: Don't ask when you hear something, "Guy or friends name, is that you?" It's not and wouldn't they have said something when they walked in the door?"
11) If you live in a big house, the chances of something paranormal happening there are good. If it's old, you're just won the haunted house lottery. There are some movies where things happen in apartment buildings but most paranormal entities like to spread out so they have more room to terrorize, chase, possess or kill you. The only exception to this rule is dorms. It's either the sorority house or the dorm room. Be smart: Live off campus.
12) If you have small children and live in a haunted house or near a haunted locale, consider moving. They're coming for the children.
13) Halloween is not a good time. It doesn't matter whether you stay home or go out. Your chances of survival are not good.
14) Creatures that are cute are not your friend.
15) If a lot of people have recently died in town or disappeared, it might be time to leave. Don't stick around to investigate especially if there is a lot of gore left behind.
16) Bringing anyone back from the dead never works out for anyone.
17) If anything promotes safe sex, it's scary movies. You fool around, you're dead. The only exception is if the entity/person/creature is looking for a mate or a virgin sacrifice.
18) Never enter a place that you know someone died at just because your friends dare you to go in: Let them lead.
19) It is not cool to want to be a werewolf, vampire, zombie, or other creature. There are always downsides: Full moons, sunlight, eating flesh, people running away from you screaming, etc.
20) If you enter the room and find your friend dead, GET OUT OF THE ROOM! The chances of the person/thing being there are really good.
21) Aliens are not your friends. If they were, they'd show up in the daytime.
22) Graveyards or crypts are not places that you want to "hang out" with your friends. You might have been to your friends' homes a million times but alive is always better than dead.
23) Never be dumb enough to think that it was only a dream.
24) "Is anybody there?" What do you think?
25) If you have fast reflexes, can think on your feet and have sharp dialogue, you will survive unless whatever is after you wants your DNA.
26) There is no rehabilitation for creatures/people/things in horror films. They are not going to want therapy, closure, or redemption. They just want to kill, maim, torture or sacrifice you.
27) Domination of a person, place, or thing is usually what they're after. They are not broad minded but you do have to admire their focus.
28) Standing there screaming at something will not make it go away. It just makes them want to kill you more painfully.
29) Panicking only makes the situation worse, gets you killed or gets someone killed who normally would have survived.
30) Never assume that someone or something is dead. It's better to be sure they're dead so grab the nearest weapon at hand or reload what you have.